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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a wedding on a weekday

222 replies

PoppySeedBun18 · 31/05/2018 12:54

So DP and I are hoping to get married in the Autumn - we want things to be low budget and low key, especially as we will have a 4 month old DD at the time. We've found a nice venue quite close to where we live and they offer an evening package which is a lot cheaper than a whole day event. So we would have the ceremony around 4pm followed by a buffet and then dancing etc. The issue is that we would prefer a Friday as it's about £600 cheaper than a Saturday - and also if we wanted a weekend date we would have to go for the Winter which could come with added problems (we live semi-rural and flooding/ice can be a nightmare).

DM (the biggest pessimist in the world) is sounding off saying that no-one would come as it's a weekday and that she thinks she wont get the day off work (despite it being nearly 6 months away!) She's also been saying that anyone with children wont come because of school and that we should move it to a weekend as it will be more convenient for her. I might add that this is the same woman who said I shouldn't bother with a wedding at all and just go down the registry office as it's cheaper! If we do go for a Saturday it would have to be later in the Winter to which she then started lamenting that it would be too cold - I can't win!! I normally don't listen to DM's doom and gloom but it did get me thinking about my friends with school age kids and future SIL who is a teacher.

I'm now in a quandary. Do I stick with the cheaper day and accept that some people may have to miss the ceremony part or shell out the extra money for a weekend date later in the year?

In addition, I would prefer to get married this year as the prices go up next year and once I'm off maternity leave next Spring I will be doing a full time training course with no time for any sort of wedding planning!

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 31/05/2018 12:56

I think weekday weddings inconvenience people massively

EverythingInItsPlace · 31/05/2018 12:57

On one hand, it's your day etc. On the other hand you will be saving money at your guests' expense

They don't have to go though so....

MrsW85 · 31/05/2018 12:58

I got married on a Monday. It's your wedding and you can do whatever you want. A Friday evening is fine for a wedding

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 31/05/2018 12:58

YANBU - Can't believe how much they rip you off if you get married at the weekend - it's 3 or 4 times as much.

I'd be fucked if I paid 3 x as much just because someone didn't think I was worth using up a day of annual leave for.

FASH84 · 31/05/2018 12:58

Fridays are fine I went to a Wednesday wedding which was a PITA

wafflethewonderdog · 31/05/2018 12:58

I got married on a Thursday because of a package offer and because we didn't want a long engagement and to have to wait months for a free weekend.
Everyone we invited came (70 day guests) My thought on it was if they really wanted to come they would and if they chose not to come well it was their loss Smile

Doyoumind · 31/05/2018 12:59

It really depends how many people you intend to invite and how many of them you think will be able to get time off work, whether they have DC, where they live in relation to the venue.

A late afternoon wedding sounds fine to me, but there will be people for whom it's difficult.

I think your DM is likely to get time off to attend your wedding.

Rockandrollwithit · 31/05/2018 12:59

We had a weekday wedding in the school holidays. It worked for us as a lot of people in both families work in schools.

I think YANBU as long as you accept that some people will be unable to come.

FASH84 · 31/05/2018 13:00

It's late in the day too so even if kids are invited they can come after school or just be collected an hour early, most people would take an afternoon off for a wedding especially a small one as you'd only be inviting close friends and family x

greendale17 · 31/05/2018 13:00

Your MIL is right to some degree.

A Friday wedding means the majority of your guests will have to book a day off work.

It will be difficult for those with kids and will be very hard for your teacher SIL to get the day off work.

For the sake of £600 I would just have it on a Saturday. I have been to a few weekday weddings and the vibe on a Saturday is just much better.

hidinginthenightgarden · 31/05/2018 13:01

I think as it is late on a Friday people will be okay with that, I would. If your SIL is a teacher she may not be able to take the full day off but may be able to take half a day. My DS' teacher has had quite a few days off due to childcare, maybe the school is just super lenient about it though?
Same with your friends with children. They may miss the ceremony or they may get childcare which is easier to get for a Friday night then it is all day and night on a Saturday.

InDubiousBattle · 31/05/2018 13:01

I think it's fine as long as you not arsey if people can't make it. I wouldn't expect people to take their dc out of school for instance but could just just have absolute immediate family for the ceremony then invite everyone else 'whenever they can make it' for a buffet after? I personally would quite like it because otherwise a wedding can take up an entire weekend!

LoveInTokyo · 31/05/2018 13:02

YABU to expect most of your guests to give up a day’s annual leave so you can save £600.

Wineythepooh · 31/05/2018 13:06

Your future sil will probably not be able to go and it will be hassle for anyone with school age kids.

FizzingWhizzbee · 31/05/2018 13:07

Your wedding, your rules. Weekdays are absolutely fine, as long as you're comfortable with and accept the fact that some people might not be able to come.

However, if you wanted to make it easier, pick the Friday of the October half term. Then it won't be an issue for anyone with kids in school, or if you have any teacher friends.

suzy2b · 31/05/2018 13:07

My son got married last October on a wednesday probably to save money, but they got married during half term.

Merryoldgoat · 31/05/2018 13:07

Some people will find it difficult to take the leave - teachers being the main one but others too. I’m not allowed leave during term time and I’m not a teacher.

If you don’t mind then that is fine but you have to accept some of your guests may decline for that reason.

Shoxfordian · 31/05/2018 13:09

I think your wedding sounds lovely
Friday's are fine, I think quite usual to get married on a Friday these days.

PoppySeedBun18 · 31/05/2018 13:10

@LoveInTokyo - £600 is a lot of money for us actually. Our budget is not really expandable and spending an extra £600 would mean we'd have to make cutbacks elsewhere.

OP posts:
redshoeblueshoe · 31/05/2018 13:12

I went to a Friday wedding. Only a few people had to take time off work. The majority would not have been able to get the Saturday off.
only in MN world does everyone work Monday to Friday 9 to 5

user139328237 · 31/05/2018 13:12

No but you could be costing your guests a lot more than £600 in lost wages if many of them have to take unpaid leave (and even if not annual leave is hardly free)

MissCherryCakeyBun · 31/05/2018 13:13

My "adopted" daughter is getting married on a Friday In June 2019. It's saving them a packet and with over a years warning a Friday wedding is doable for most

Have your wedding when you want it and congratulations

LoveInTokyo · 31/05/2018 13:14

“No but you could be costing your guests a lot more than £600 in lost wages if many of them have to take unpaid leave (and even if not annual leave is hardly free.”

This.

RainySeptember · 31/05/2018 13:15

I think midweek would be a pain but a Friday is fine, particularly as it's later in the day.

Look at it as natural selection. If they cba finishing work early to come, they're not that interested and you've saved yourself the cost of their meal.

It's different if money is no object, but if a £600 saving is significant to you then I'd take it. It's not like you've got a gun to their head, if they don't want a half day off work, they don't have to come.

user7469322 · 31/05/2018 13:15

Agree with pp about considering the Friday of October half term. Get it booked now then get your invites out asap. Not unreasonable to get married on a weekday and a Friday evening, as you say, will save you a bit of dosh too!