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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bringing a boyfriend on a girls' holiday

217 replies

NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:13

Person A is celebrating a big birthday next year and as they've been meaning to go on a holiday together, has planned to go on a holiday with B, C, and D.

A's boyfriend also wants to go to this destination and is willing to pay for A. A thinks its a waste of time and money going to the same destination twice and would like her boyfriend to join the group trip.

B and C are against this as they don't know A's boyfriend (having only met him once) and think he'll change the dynamic of the group and they won't be able to let their hair down. A argues that her boyfriend is laid back and won't change the group dynamic.

D doesn't mind if the boyfriend comes.

Who is being unreasonable

OP posts:
MartagonLilies · 17/05/2018 17:15

Was the holiday booked before the boyfriend asked to come?

MadMags · 17/05/2018 17:15

A.

Couples who insist on doing everything together are pathetic weirdos.

Original poster
NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:15

The holiday hasn't been booked yet.

OP posts:
Elementtree · 17/05/2018 17:16

I think A is if it was arranged as a holiday with friends and it will inevitably change the dynamic. I can see why b and c are naffed off. I think you must be d though op. Do you have the final say?

SometimesMaybe · 17/05/2018 17:16

A
Totally crazy to gatecrash a friends holiday.

Trinity66 · 17/05/2018 17:16

That's a tough one, I mean if they're going away for A's birthday then maybe she should choose whether it's a couples thing or not, could the others bring their partners if they have one? But if they had it already booked thinking it was a girls only thing and then A suddenly decides her DP is coming too after they can't back out then that's wrong as well. He will change the dynamic, that's fact

Cheto · 17/05/2018 17:16

B c and d should go by themselves ... A should just go with boyfriend

MiggledyHiggins · 17/05/2018 17:16

B, C & D need to book their own holiday.

A and Bf who appear soldered together at the hip need to book their own holiday.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/05/2018 17:17

A

MidnightAura · 17/05/2018 17:17

A is. B and C are right, it would change everything. I wouldn’t be happy in their shoes. What man wants to go on holiday with four women?

Byebyebye · 17/05/2018 17:17

I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with a tag a long boyfriend.

He will 100% change the dynamic.

They already made the plans together as a girls holiday so they should stick to this.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 17/05/2018 17:17

Hmm not sure. I think if its A's birthday holiday then she gets to decide but if it was another member of the party then no.

Notsurewhyimdoingthis · 17/05/2018 17:18

Can it be turned into a couples holiday instead?

Incarnationsofunderstanding · 17/05/2018 17:18

It will change the dynamic but it’s As birthday.

If B or C chose to bring a partner that wouldn’t be ok but if A does and tells people before they are committed and Aso allows others to bring partners if they wish then I think it’s fine.

Catfacecats · 17/05/2018 17:18

I wouldn’t be happy if one person wanted to take a boyfriend I’d only met once. It would completely change the dynamic. If it wasn’t booked, I’d cancel and not go.

ElspethFlashman · 17/05/2018 17:18

A will guarantee she'll never be invited on a holiday with her friends ever again.

BritInUS1 · 17/05/2018 17:19

How about A staying for an extra few days after B&C have left and her boyfriend joining her then?

DingDongDenny · 17/05/2018 17:19

A - how would it work with rooms anyway - when we go on girls holidays there is normally room sharing - often 3 to a room. You can bet they will want a double to themselves

Byebyebye · 17/05/2018 17:19

Also it’ll most likely up the price for some one as they’ll have their own room and then unless they can find a three person room one person won’t have someone to share with.

I’m guessing A just wants a free holiday.

Notsurewhyimdoingthis · 17/05/2018 17:19

But really A is BU, bringing a partner will totally change the dynamic

TonTonMacoute · 17/05/2018 17:19

Well, it clearly boyfriend cannot come on an all girls holiday.

Why can’t A change the destination for her girls holiday, and go to the other place with boyfriend another time?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 17/05/2018 17:19

A is cheeky to ask. It's a girl's holiday for old friends. Clearly the couple will want to do things apart from the group, especially as you don't know him. How awkward.

One of my friends starting bringing her boyfriend to all our meet ups when we weren't bringing partners. It turned out he was a controlling jealous arsehole who insisted on accompanying her bloody everywhere.

sonjadog · 17/05/2018 17:20

A is in the wrong. She either goes with her friends or with her boyfriend.

DrEustaciaBenson · 17/05/2018 17:20

A is BU. If it's planned as a girls' trip, you don't then suggest bringing a boyfriend. However nice and laid back he is.

Original poster
NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:20

There was talk of turning it into a couples holiday but none of the other three are in long term relationships and it would be a case of finding a random guy to invite.

OP posts: