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Original poster

Bringing a boyfriend on a girls' holiday

217 replies

NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:13

Person A is celebrating a big birthday next year and as they've been meaning to go on a holiday together, has planned to go on a holiday with B, C, and D.

A's boyfriend also wants to go to this destination and is willing to pay for A. A thinks its a waste of time and money going to the same destination twice and would like her boyfriend to join the group trip.

B and C are against this as they don't know A's boyfriend (having only met him once) and think he'll change the dynamic of the group and they won't be able to let their hair down. A argues that her boyfriend is laid back and won't change the group dynamic.

D doesn't mind if the boyfriend comes.

Who is being unreasonable

OP posts:
ralfeesmum · 19/05/2018 11:17

Both the clue and the answer are in the holiday description:

"Girls Holiday"

And he WILL change the dynamic of the group (especially if he can't resist giving everyone else the benefit of an Alpha-Male potted philosophy!)

No.Boys.Allowed.

ToftyAC · 19/05/2018 12:05

Don’t see the problem if the BF goes unless he’s a proper buzzkiller and he’s not generally liked.

IJustHadToNameChange · 19/05/2018 12:13

Girls' holiday = no boys/men.

A is being very unreasonable.

If it's a nice destination, A won't mind returning.

TheNoseyProject · 19/05/2018 12:21

Good for you. At your age I would have shut-up and put-up and been really peeved about it.

GreenTulips · 19/05/2018 12:55

Wonder how many of you saying 'no problem' would go on holiday with a stranger?

Hard enough when you actually like the people you go with.

Whereismumhiding2 · 19/05/2018 12:56

OP, find another fun holiday to book, you (B) and C book and go. You could ask D if you like and maybe an E. But no A. You all wanted a girlie holiday and A is trying to steal it from you. I'd go ahead and book what you originally wanted and leave A to her lovey dovey holiday with bf. You have plenty of reasons, about how she wouldn't compromise, if she complains.

Bluntness100 · 19/05/2018 13:02

I'm surprised the boyfriend wants to go. It's weird, what the fuck kinda bloke wants to go on a girls holiday.

And why would she want him there, it's just too weird. You'd do right to pull out.

scottishdiem · 19/05/2018 13:02

Men who want to go on holiday together - bad, waste of space, doesnt appreciate partner etc.

Women who want to go on holiday - good, have a dynamic that can be ruined by the presence of menfolk

People who one to bring partners on friend trips - weird for being close to a partner. Especially when they want to spend a trip celebrating a landmark together. I mean really.....

Sheesh the hypocrisy on this site causes headaches.

Anyway, the destination of the trip could change therefor the boyfriend is less likely to want to come? And therefore the friends get their girl only time together?

Byebyebye · 19/05/2018 13:26

Scottish - people usually have that option when it means the man dips into family money which causes the family to not have a holiday and the woman doesn’t get a break or help with the children.

This is the case of 20 something’s going on holiday at uni. Not the same situation at all.

TheFatkinsDiet · 19/05/2018 13:32

Scottish - people usually have that option when it means the man dips into family money which causes the family to not have a holiday and the woman doesn’t get a break or help with the children

This^^.

ReanimatedSGB · 19/05/2018 13:43

Agree with the above - it's usually the man wanting everything in the way of treats for himself, because 'he earns the money' and his partner and DC are an afterthought.

In this case: Well done OP, think you have made the right decision. It's also useful to see a uni friend clearly (an unreasonable princess) and bail out sooner rather than later - it can be very tiring to be stuck with someone year after year, if that person always wants their own way and has no consideration for others.
Though I'd advise just letting the friendship drift rather than having a big showdown - those are always naff and do no good.

expatinscotland · 19/05/2018 13:49

Well done, Nasdaq! Onwards and upwards.

brodiee · 19/05/2018 21:34

@MadMags I told her no and it was girls only!

scottishdiem · 20/05/2018 01:29

I dunno. There was a women here the other day really pissed that her DP was taking a day or two for a hobby thing later this year. After a crap year with bereavement in his family etc.

No kids. Not family money. Women still had lots of time off to take.

But no, the problem was that he wasnt taking is time with her despite already laid plans for a bigger holiday early next year.

But anyway, OP is moving on from her friendship because she isnt getting the holiday she wants. Which isnt flaky at all.....

TaytoAllDay · 20/05/2018 11:36

You shouldn't really drop a friendship over a friend wanting to bring her BF on holiday, when it is her birthday.

I understand both sides as at your age I wouldn't have wanted a BF tagging along on a girls hol. But also, it is a money saver for her on her birthday and could Bf not come out a little later? There must be a solution w/o losing friends

MadMags · 20/05/2018 11:40

I'm also going to end my friendship with A because she has a history of unreasonable behaviour and I don't have the patience for it.

What part of that ^^ makes people think she’s ending a friendship because of one holiday?

Branleuse · 20/05/2018 11:52

yanbu . I would pull out of this holiday.

Even if I knew the guy, it still changes the dynamic. Ive got friends who often randomly bring their boyfriend when we meet for coffee etc, and as lovely as their boyfriends/husbands are, sometimes I just wanna be with my women friends

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