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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bringing a boyfriend on a girls' holiday

217 replies

NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:13

Person A is celebrating a big birthday next year and as they've been meaning to go on a holiday together, has planned to go on a holiday with B, C, and D.

A's boyfriend also wants to go to this destination and is willing to pay for A. A thinks its a waste of time and money going to the same destination twice and would like her boyfriend to join the group trip.

B and C are against this as they don't know A's boyfriend (having only met him once) and think he'll change the dynamic of the group and they won't be able to let their hair down. A argues that her boyfriend is laid back and won't change the group dynamic.

D doesn't mind if the boyfriend comes.

Who is being unreasonable

OP posts:
MVLipwig · 17/05/2018 17:20

Why not have A and BF go on holiday together, BC and D also go on holiday. Same area, same dates different accommodation? Presumably then everyone has a nice holiday and can meet up as suits them?

Lucked · 17/05/2018 17:21

I think A is being unreasonable. Go somewhere else and let A go the original destination with partner another time. That will scupper her argument which is likely bullocks anyway because I think she has turned into one of those people.

Alternately B, C and D go together and A and partner go seperately as a couple and tell her you will meet up one night to celebrate her Birthday but make no other plans with them.

MadMags · 17/05/2018 17:21

They've only met him once. So turning it into a couples holiday still means a bunch of strangers being forced to spend days together in close proximity. No. Way.

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 17:21

If the trip is arranged for A to celebrate A's birthday I guess it's up to her if she wants to bring her boyfriend.

As the holiday hasn't been booked, why don't the girls' holiday group go somewhere else and leave the other destination for A and boyfriend to go to another time?

LaContessaDiPlump · 17/05/2018 17:24

Has this idea come from A or A's boyfriend? Wondering if he is the controlling type and didn't like the idea of her gong without him, hence the willingness to pay.

HateTheDF · 17/05/2018 17:25

A is definitely in the wrong.

I think B, C and D should leave A and her BF to it and go somewhere else together.

soggydigestive · 17/05/2018 17:26

I completely agree with lucked

HateTheDF · 17/05/2018 17:26

How long have A and boyfriend been together? If it's short term they may not even be together next year (obviously also possible if they are long term)

MadMags · 17/05/2018 17:26

Which one are you, OP?

PurpleDaisies · 17/05/2018 17:27

It’s odd the boyfriend even wants to go on an all girls holiday.

A is being unreasonable here. I agree that choosing a different destination would be a sensible way forward.

Original poster
NasdaqYouTwat · 17/05/2018 17:29

I'm B/C

OP posts:
TemptressofWaikiki · 17/05/2018 17:30

Deffo A. I adore my DH but he would never intrude on a trip by longstanding female friends. Pathetic!

MadMags · 17/05/2018 17:30

Ah, well you're 100% right!

MumofBoysx2 · 17/05/2018 17:31

If it's a girls holiday then no boys allowed!

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 17/05/2018 17:32

So its As big birthday? Then I think its fair enough to want her boyfriend to come.
Tbf though I have never understood 'girls holidays'. Girls night out maybe... but to be honest if I was spending the amount of money to go somewhere abroad I would not want my partner to be excluded.

bearbehind · 17/05/2018 17:32

A is BU.

Can't you suggest you go to another destination, one which her partner doesn't want to go to?

I suspect he'll turn out to want to go everywhere you suggest and it's actually just A wants to go away with her partner.

HollowTalk · 17/05/2018 17:34

You're all at different stages in your life. A clearly wants to go on holiday with her boyfriend. She's really stupid to think that won't change the dynamics and is really cheeky to think everyone can find a boyfriend to take with them.

I think B, C and D should go on holiday together. A could go with her boyfriend and stay somewhere different and they could perhaps meet up one night for a meal.

Frosty66612 · 17/05/2018 17:35

I’d go mad if a friend brought along a partner to a girls holiday. Especially one we barely knew. It totally changes the dynamic and would ruin it

mummabeargrr · 17/05/2018 17:35

A is BU.
Love DH but no to going on a girls holiday, and he'd hate it too.

Furano · 17/05/2018 17:38

A is BU.

She either goes on a girls trip, or a trip with her BF. You can't combine.

expatinscotland · 17/05/2018 17:40

A is BU. If I were B,C and D I'd not agree to go on a holiday with A and the boyfriend. Changes the dynamic and is tiresome. I'd just tell her no thanks and if she wants we can celebrate some other way.

MadMags · 17/05/2018 17:41

but to be honest if I was spending the amount of money to go somewhere abroad I would not want my partner to be excluded.

So then you go with your partner, you don't try to bring him on a girls' holiday.

Also, what is there to understand? It's a group of friends who want to get away for a while and spend time together. Confused

Andylion · 17/05/2018 17:41

There was talk of turning it into a couples holiday but none of the other three are in long term relationships and it would be a case of finding a random guy to invite.

Was this A's idea?

5foot5 · 17/05/2018 17:41

I am going to go against the grain here.

Couples who insist on doing everything together are pathetic weirdos.
A and Bf who appear soldered together at the hip need to book their own holiday.

and similar. Nothing in the OP to suggest this is necessarily the case. For all we know they may be perfectly happy to do things as individuals but this particular destination appeals to them both.

I think B and C are being a bit childish actually. They should accept that things move on. Most people don't stay stuck in exactly the same friendship groups they had at school. New people join, some people leave. They might want to go on pretending they are all still 18 and nothing has changed. But it has.

GreenTulips · 17/05/2018 17:42

She either goes on a girls trip, or a trip with her BF. You can't combine

This

She wants her birthday cake and eat it!

I wouldn't be impressed if I was you either