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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would have waited longer for kids

184 replies

b123p · 10/05/2018 22:36

People who had children in their late twenties or early thirties

Would you have waited longer to have children if you knew the full impact it would have on your life and relationship?

OP posts:
myfriendbob · 10/05/2018 22:37

What about those of us who had them earlier than late 20's?

PinkHeart5914 · 10/05/2018 22:37

I love the impact it has on my life & realtionship. I would still have them when I did knowing what I know now

justanotheruser18 · 10/05/2018 22:38

No. I think it was a good time for me (31). I might have felt differently had I not lived well in my 20s.

StealthPolarBear · 10/05/2018 22:39

I had two children by the age of thirty, a toddler and a very young baby on my birthday. If anything I wish I'd started two or three years earlier

ExPresidents · 10/05/2018 22:40

No (29 for dc1 and 31 for dc2)
I would like a third and maybe even a fourth but I want 35 to be the cut off for me age wise so I think we’ll be lucky to have one more.
It has had an impact on our lives of course but we spent all our twenties getting pissed so it was about time we gave our livers a break

ArtBrut · 10/05/2018 22:40

I had mine a couple of months before I turned 40, and wouldn’t have done it any earlier.

HeddaGarbled · 10/05/2018 22:41

No.

I'd have gone back to work sooner though, and been more assertive about the equality in the relationship.

Barbie222 · 10/05/2018 22:42

I would have liked to have children younger, early twenties. And had more.

User467 · 10/05/2018 22:43

No. I had my two at 29 and 31 and don't wish I waited any longer. I was at a good point in my career/financially stable etc. I actually think the impact gets harder the older you are when you have your first. The older you are the more established your child free life is and the harder it is to adjust when that changes.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 10/05/2018 22:44

No. I would have had them younger, wouldn’t have wanted them any later. I’m knackered enough now!

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 10/05/2018 22:46

Totally agree user, I was financially stable great relationship, good career, very established and pretty easy life. Massive, massive shock when I had my first. It would have been even worse if that was later.

TheActualFuck · 10/05/2018 22:48

I was 25 when I had DD and to be honest, even though she was a surprise, I feel like I was the "right" age for me. She's 2 now and we're thinking of ttc number 2, so in theory, by the time we're both early 40s we'll have more independent teens and can enjoy being a bit selfish again. Absolutely wouldn't have wanted to wait permanently exhausted as is and I'm not even 30 yet

TheFishInThePot · 10/05/2018 22:50

I wish I'd had mine younger, I would have loved another.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/05/2018 22:51

I had my first at 33,and tbh, it was pretty much perfect.
Enough memories in the bank for dh and I to get us through the hard times, enough cash in the bank from ten years working, been there/done that with regard to going out every night.

C0untDucku1a · 10/05/2018 22:51

No i wouldnt have waited any longer. I was 31 and 33.

megafatCEObaby · 10/05/2018 22:53

Yes, but only because we have 3 kids and are renting. I wouldn't change it in terms of age, just that we had bought a house first. I'm 29 and feel really old and tired in my body running after 3 kids 5 and under, so can't imagine what it'd be like with another 5 years or whatever added on.

MelanieSmooter · 10/05/2018 22:54

I had mine in my late teens-early twenties. If I could guarantee the same kids I’d have started when I had my third (23). But I couldn’t and I’m very happy with my lot. I was done by 25 which means I’ll have a fuck load of freedom and financial security by 40 👌🏻

user1469751309 · 10/05/2018 22:55

I had DD1 on my 25th birthday and to be honest it was a huge shock to the system perhaps I would have had my first slightly later say 28 but I have two lovely DDs now my youngest is 2 and I'm 30 this year and it's perfect for me

silverpenguin · 10/05/2018 22:57

I had DD at 30 and it felt exactly right. If I had to change it, I'd go for earlier rather than later.

ObiJuanKenobi · 10/05/2018 23:00

I had twins at 22 and it's been damn hard work. I think with one baby I'd say no but with twins I wish I'd progressed a little further career wise first - purely down to the cost of childcare and everything else for 2.

hammeringinmyhead · 10/05/2018 23:01

I'm about to have my first - I'll be 34. It took bloody ages to conceive so I wouldn't have wanted to wait much longer. I would never have done it earlier than 30 though.

Babdoc · 10/05/2018 23:04

I had mine at 33 and 35. If I’d waited any longer I wouldn’t have had any at all, as my DH died suddenly before the youngest reached her first birthday.

whatwillbwillbe · 10/05/2018 23:07

19 when pregnant with dd, I would have waited longer and done loads of travelling!

Original poster
b123p · 10/05/2018 23:09

So sorry for your loss Babdoc. Puts it all into perspective really.

Thanks to those who have replied.

OP posts:
Pythonesque · 10/05/2018 23:09

29/32 with mine. Might have kept a career on track had I waited 2-4 years longer with the first.