To ask if you would have waited longer for kids

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People who had children in their late twenties or early thirties

Would you have waited longer to have children if you knew the full impact it would have on your life and relationship?

I'm not sure the parental help is a generalisable reason in either direction.

Just regarding the grandparents, my own mum passed away when I was in my early 30s and I do regret that my kids never got to meet her. I have pictures of her around the house and we talk about her quite a bit, I tell them she would have been crazy about them.
On a different note, I agree with a pp who said they are not at all knackered in their 40s. I have plenty of energy and time. What definitely helps is I can afford to pay a cleaner and babysitter. I make sure that I get free time to indulge hobbies, and I don't have to spend the whole time cleaning when I'm home with the kids. I have no words for how much I hate the pure drudgery of cleaning!!

I just had DD at 33. I feel old enough and wouldn't have wanted to be much older, but would have loved a few more years of just me and DH (we have only been together for 5 years) but DH is 40 so we needed to crack on!

I was 27 and 30 with my DC. The first couple of years after DC1 I often wished I'd waited longer, to have more exotic holidays and to build more of a career. Then I had a miscarriage which was very traumatic and it really rocked me, and changed my perspective. Luckily, I fell pregnant with DC2 very soon after, but I now wouldn't change anything.

Oh, and I got promoted while pregnant with DC2, so my career still managed to do a bit of catch up.

Well this is depressing... 31 with no boyfriend on the radar... would love 3 children with decent age gaps. Would be lucky to have just one at this rate 😔

I’ve just had my first at 37 (38 in a couple of months). I wanted to have my first at 32 but it took a long time and lots of heartache to have our DD. I feel like I missed out sharing some special times with good friends who had their children at that time.
There are good things about having a baby later though, we’re financially stable and secure, have a nice house and my career is in a decent place. I don't think I’m any more tired than I would have been at 27, and I’m much more skilled at looking after myself through diet, exercise and general self-care. The downside is I’d like to have another but will be pretty old if I don’t crack on...

Nah, not really. I only wanted one baby, we started trying when I was 27 expecting it to take a while due to pill the pill and our past drinking/smoking lifestyle. I got pregnant on my first month of trying, my career has taken a small hit as no promotion for me this year but, whatever.

Since having him, I’ve realised I want at least another DC, possibly two, so timing wise I’m happy with my decision.

If it cheers you up at all excited, I didn't meet DH until I was 34. Had first DC at 36, second DC at 39, I'm pretty sure I could manage another one if we wanted (we don't). Had absolutely no problems getting pregnant with the first two - happened within a matter of weeks in each case.
Ideally I would have had kids five years younger, but it just didn't work out that way and I'm happy with my lot.

Excited There were two late 40s and one gorgeous (looked 20 years younger) woman in her 50s in my nct group! You are but a mere stripling!

Had my first at 22, had 4 by the time I was 30. Loved it. Now have 10 grandchildren and am young enough and well enough to enjoy them and be some use to the parents when they need help

Excited 101 don't panic. I met my husband at 35, had DC at 37 and 39.

I had four between 25 & 36. Ideally I'd have had them closer together so I was younger when I finished - I just managed the 4th before my self imposed pregnancy limit of 35. I'm very glad we didn't wait any longer.

My youngest sibling was born when my parents were in their 40s - they are in their 60s now & despite being healthy, active, affluent etc it's pretty hard for them. They are both still working as dsis is about start a masters & still needs wants a lot of financial/practical/emotional support. I know that they feel sad that they won't have the same sort of relationship with her children as they do with mine & my brother's.

We were both 25 when I got pregnant with first baby... had been trying for a year and there were fertility issues so we were very lucky. 2nd was conceived v easily to our surprise. Age gap is nearly 3 years which is right for us.

I'm glad we didn't wait longer as before we ttc I had no idea I had PCOS and DH had issues too. Also some of my friends are 5 years behind so to speak- we are getting some freedom back and they're in the thick of it.

Things have worked out well, I've got back into my career part time and family life is good. I wouldn't change anything.

MrsChuckBass.

Had mine at 24 and 25 wouldn't change anything I think early 20s is a great age to have kids

I honestly don't know any early twenties people who have decent jobs with an income that can support them and a child. That's the thing for me, if you're not able to provide practically as well as emotionally it's better to wait until you can. I accept there are a few people early twenties who have managed to get a decent career or job going but it seems unlikely to me.

DC1 at 30 and DC2 at 33. Absolutely perfect, although had been with DH for ten years so was all partied out.

I was 30 and 33. For us it was just about right. I think if I had started my career earlier rather than doing a PhD, I would maybe have liked to have had DS a couple of years earlier? Not sure. We have been together since we were just shy of 20 though.

Like me CPtart. Except the partying...

I had mine at 22,26,29,30 and 33.
I wanted a large family so it was prudent to start earlier.

DH and I are very fortunate that both of our parents have provided childcare regularly so we've always had lots of time as a couple.

I don't think I'd have waited any longer, however if I only wanted one or two it wouldn't have been a problem to start post thirty.

I was 31 and don't wish I waited longer. Think it was the right age for me. But I do wish I d waited to have dd two years later

I had my first at 32. It was great.

If I had my time over, I'd have had them younger. And twice as many.

I had mine at 23 and 25. I feel like I was too young and wish I had waited to start a career, enjoy our marriage just the two of us for longer.
However they’re older now and I’m looking forward to having my own life back a bit and plan to go back and study once the youngest is in school. I imagined having a third but I’m 30 soon and can’t face going back to sleepless nights and constant caring for a baby.

No. I'd do it exactly the same all over again. Was 26 with DC1 and 28 with DC2. Currently 30.

I was 29, turned 30 when DS was 8 weeks old. So far I'm happy with my choice. Been with DH since I was 18 ( he's 4 years older), owned our first home together at 21, married at 26 and spent my twenties travelling together and enjoying our disposable income.

Not planning anymore so by the time DS is an adult we'll be late 40s/early 50s and hopefully mortgage free too.

I also don’t understand how people manage it in the early 20s. At 22/23 I was living at home & just starting to get my career going after finishing uni & doing crappy temping jobs. I was so poor!

and I was with DH then but he was in the same boat.