To ask if you would have waited longer for kids

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People who had children in their late twenties or early thirties

Would you have waited longer to have children if you knew the full impact it would have on your life and relationship?

Yes I would have, but mainly because me and DP hadn’t been together that long. I feel like our relationship changed dramatically very quickly. Plus we didn’t get to do all of the travelling we would have liked to have done. Holidays aren’t the same with 2 year old twins

I had my two at 32 and 37 and it was the perfect time for me. My dh and I lived very exciting lives before. We traveled and lived abroad. We partied. We had a really fun, spontaneous life and I think we feel like we didn’t hold back so that when it was time for life to slow down when we had kids, we weren’t missing out on anything because we really had done it all. Then in between our first and second my dh started a successful business and I got my PhD, so we were still doing things we wanted to do. I feel like the timing was perfect for us but I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any sooner and I’m glad I had my 20s to be stupid and selfish and do all the wild things I did.

No, it was the right age for me. I spent my 30s having babies and looking after toddlers. I wouldn't want to be doing that now in my 40s then being where I am now, with primary and early secondary age kids and getting back into a career, in my 50s.

I wasn't ready in my 20s though, and I'm glad I spent that decade as I did. I had long term relationships in my late teens and early 20s but am incredibly glad I didn't have children in those relationships! Tbh even at the time I knew that they weren't life long potential relationships. I lived abroad in countries I wouldn't have wanted to settle permanently in, and I worked 60+ hour weeks while studying for my masters degree and partying in London in my early 20s, lots of living to look back on when stuck on the sofa with a small sleeplessless baby who cried if put down.... I was happy to be where I was, having had enough of the way I spent my 30s but having no regrets about not having lived it up for a while.

Starting in my early 30s was right for me.

I had my first when I was 31, I wish I'd started earlier

I got married at 21, had my first child at 22 and last child at 26. I'm 28 now, so not gonna lie there was a time when I wished I waited a bit longer to have kids so I could have enjoyed my 20a, felt like a bit I've wasted my 20s

But I feel different now, and I'm glad I had them so young because when I'm 44, my DCs will be 21,20,18. And that means I get my life back and get to do what the fuck I want to do, and trust me I've got a list the length of my arm of things I want to do.

And by then some of my friends who've "lived well" in their 20s would have young children in their 40s

What about you OP, what’s your personal experience?

No regrets here either.

Had my first at 27 and about to have my second and probably last at 29. It took us a year to concieve first time round as well so being young is no guarantee that you will be fertile - I wish this was brought to my attention more before I wanted kids.

Delighted that by the time I’m 40 they will nearly be teenagers and me and DH can have us time while we are still young enough to enjoy it. I feel like I have the energy atm but I wouldn’t want to be any older, my body isn’t cut out for pregnancy!

No. We started our family when I was 27. I knew I wanted more than one and wanted them all done by 35. Im a planner so this made sense to me knowing the research about genetic disorders etc.

As it turns out I had some unknown to me at the time fertitilty problems that significantly worsen with age. If I’d waited to 35 I would have needed IVF and quite likely would have one child (assuming the treatment worked).

I also think it’s a good balance. We’re secure enough to provide a base and have enough energy to run about.

That said. I had been married 5 years, had a career (and a second career!). Travelled a bit.

The only think I wish is that I hadn’t worked so hard and that I’d had more day to day fun - popping to the cinema etc.

No , actually I would have had them earlier.

DH and myself have been together for 9 years, married for 5 and we have a 9 month old.
We had holidays, days out, lots of intimate time together. We're both 26. I think all the time we've been together has made our relationship strong and we've been through a lot together and I know we can withstand an awful lot. We met when we were 17. If we'd met now, i'd probably wait till I was 35 for kids.
We've always been people that love days out to child friendly places, we love being in our home and are probably a bit old for our age.
The reason we had our baby when we dismiss because we were ready to move onto the next stage of our relationship and life. Our age just worked out the way it did.

No, it's nice to be 40 and have dc safely in school. Loads of people my age are having babies now (like people I went to school with/ work with) don't envy them one bit

I had my first early twenties. Looking back I was not in a position to have a baby but I managed. No regrets having him young as I was never a career or travelling person. Only regret was having him with my ex as I was too immature to see what an unsuitable idiot he was, we split up and I had years of hell from him. So from that respect I should've waited until I was older, more settled and in a better relationship.
Met my now DH and had 2 more in my late twenties, no regrets at all. I'm in my mid 30s now, few health niggles and wouldn't want to be starting now.

Absolutely not.27 when i had first DC and DD the same.They by no means have everthing sorted in their house but at least they have one and its safe and secure for a little one.And as a grandparent who helps out and loves it -but finds it tiring - I'm glad DH and I get to enjoy it now rather than in 10 maybe even 15 years time.

No. I had mine at 28, 30 and 38 (last one would have been a couple of years earlier but we had recurrent mc). Exactly the right time for us IMO. If anything, I might have liked (had circs been right) to start a year or two earlier.

No! Not at all. I had two children in my twenties, yes it was difficult financially and it has affected my career but if I’d waited until now (35) to have a baby it might not have happened. DH and I have been ttc our third for over a year now and it hasn’t happened. I’m so pleased we didn’t wait until now to begin our family. It’s hpsetting enough to not be able to conceive DC3 but at least it’s not DC1.

I had mine at 32 & 35, but I’m considering one more at 37. So if I do have a 3rd I think I should of started maybe a year or so earlier as I realised after DC1 I didn’t want them very close together. Plus by spreading them out I managed to start a 2nd career (p/t) & am now starting to get back to where I was financially pre kids.

I wouldn’t have done it in my late 20s but sometimes I think maybe early 20s could have worked as I love the idea of them being adults when I’m in my 40s. But then I went to Uni, worked in fashion & spent my 20s partying & travelling & having so much fun. Plus my friends followed similar paths (London) & all waited till 30s.

Mine was born in my late thirties and I would have liked to have had him in my early thirties but it took longer than we had hoped.
Having him much earlier than that would have made our lives more difficult because I have not been able to work since he was born and the extra years of 2 incomes have given us more financial security.

I had my first at 28. With hindsight I should have remained on the pill. We dedicated our lIves to them, I still love them deeply but mourn for the life we could have had without the unrelenting responsibility.
Nobody understands until after they have children just how much their lives will change.

I was 21 when I had my first and by 26 had four under 5years old I had my last one (no 6) at 36 and by then the youngest (no 5,now 11) was 6 and i look back and wonder how the hell I has the energy! It's been a different parenting experience with the last one more relaxed in meelf raher than trying to herd eels!

But then possibly you didn’t want them at all, Esspee? I’m not being difficult, it always seems to me a lot of people regret having children. I think when you have them very young you don’t properly remember a life without them. It can leave you a bit aimless though when they are grown up and you are still youngish.

Mine were born when I was 27 and 30. With hindsight, I may have had them a bit earlier but it just wasn't possible with career, housing, and DH Job. I do feel it is becoming easier now with them growing up and I'm really enjoying them as teens and developing into lovely people. They are great company and it will only be a few years now before they fly the nest and we can go travelling again!

I had mine at 26 and 28 and I wouldn’t change a thing. I see my friends now starting to have dc 10 years later and am so glad I did it this way. Realise that it’s not always an option.

No. DH and I often smugly congratulate ourselves for having our dc when we were 29 and 31. Was perfect for us and when they are young adults we will only be 50 and will be free to travel etc. Loving it now they are early teens too as we have a lot more couple time/ time for our own hobbies, gym etc. as the dc are much more independent, off with friends, amusing themselves. Wouldn't change a thing. Sorry - told you we were smug!