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Original poster

Told DH I've been having Botox for a couple of years and he's livid

218 replies

Pooshy · 07/05/2018 14:01

Last night we were at the neighbours and had had a few drinks, and I was chatting to a friend who told me she'd had Botox

I then told her I've been having it for a while and at that point told DH

I haven't told him before as he's made some judgy comments in the past and I thought he'd react badly

He's so annoyed with me for not telling him that he won't speak to me

Is it that bad what I've done?!

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 07/05/2018 14:02

He has made judgy comments in the past. What was your response to that?

PrimroseTulip · 07/05/2018 14:02

I’m not sure. What were your reasons for not telling him before?

MarSeeAh · 07/05/2018 14:03

It's up to you what you do with your body.

He sounds like an arsehole.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/05/2018 14:04

No its not bad what you've done. It's your body. Is he usually this controlling.

Fairenuff · 07/05/2018 14:04

How much does it cost, can you afford it and does he contribute to it?

SecretStash · 07/05/2018 14:05

Is it the money that’s a problem?

ToffeeSauce · 07/05/2018 14:05

What’s he angry about: the expense or the not being told?

HLBug · 07/05/2018 14:05

Is he worried because he thinks you've been doing something dangerous? I'm interested in getting botox in the future but my DH has already told me he thinks it's a daft thing to do as he thinks worst case scenario all the time - not his choice though at the end of the day. But I do wonder if I would bother telling him or keep quiet to avoid the fight.

XiCi · 07/05/2018 14:05

You haven't done anything wrong. Your body, your choice. Your husband sounds like a right nobber.

AmazingPostVoices · 07/05/2018 14:07

Imagine he’s pretty embarrassed that you kept it from him but then felt it was suitable casual drinks conversation.

I have to say if my DH was spending thousands of pounds injecting poison into his face I think I’d want to know.

hildabaker · 07/05/2018 14:07

I suppose you have 3 options:

  • defer to him for the rest of your marriage
  • carry on getting Botox or whatever but don't tell him
  • LTB
TidyDancer · 07/05/2018 14:07

I think it's a bit odd that you didn't tell him. I understand your reasons but I still think it's strange. I would never try to stop DP doing something like that but I think I'd be bothered he hadn't told me.

applesisapple5 · 07/05/2018 14:07

I wouldn't be happy if I was sideswiped by my partner at a dinner, you knew he'd be upset and that was how you chose to tell him. That's pretty crappy.

UndomesticHousewife · 07/05/2018 14:08

I've had Botox and will be getting it again soon my dh wasn't keen on me getting it but supported it because he knew I wanted it and why and actually it's up to me what I get.

Botox isn't the problem it's your dhs reactions to things which is why you can't tell him.

ElizaDontlittle · 07/05/2018 14:08

I think revealing something in company that your spouse doesn't know is unfair.
I wonder why you chose to do it like that? Were you scared of him?
Did you not care? Or something in between?

UndomesticHousewife · 07/05/2018 14:08

Although I do agree that at dinner with your friends is not the right time to tell him this.

happypoobum · 07/05/2018 14:08

Unless he has directly paid for it, what does it have to do with him?

VladPutin · 07/05/2018 14:09

no one likes sulkers

Laiste · 07/05/2018 14:09

If you've funded it yourself then it's none of his beeswax.

Wouldn't have fessed up at a social occasion though. What made you do that!?

Original poster
Pooshy · 07/05/2018 14:12

I agree it wasn't the right time or place to tell him but we'd had a few drinks and it was an error of my judgment

It's always been my money so there's no issue there

I didn't tell him as I was concerned he'd be really annoyed, which he now is anyway Confused

OP posts:
AmazingPostVoices · 07/05/2018 14:13

*I suppose you have 3 options:

  • defer to him for the rest of your marriage
  • carry on getting Botox or whatever but don't tell him
  • LTB*

Really Hilda? You genuinely think those are the only three options? Hmm

What about:

Tell him what you are doing, acknowledge that he doesn’t like it but remind him it’s your body and your money and your decision.

PotteringAlong · 07/05/2018 14:13

If you’re married surely it’s family money?

Pomegranatemolasses · 07/05/2018 14:13

Why is he annoyed? Does he disapprove of botox in general?

gamerwidow · 07/05/2018 14:14

I my DH was spending £100s getting poison pumped into his face with all the associated risks that go with it I'd expect to be told about it.
I wouldn't stop him from doing it if we had the money but I'd be unimpressed about him sneaking off in secret then having a good laugh about how clueless I was in front of our friends.
Why choose to revel this information now, sounds like you were trying to get one over him. I suspect it is this he is angry about rather than the disappointment of finding out his married to a vain silly woman.

AmazingPostVoices · 07/05/2018 14:15

You need to apologise both for hiding it and for how it was revealed Pooshy.

That’s not the same as apologising for having the treatment.

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