Told DH I've been having Botox for a couple of years and he's livid

[Pooshy]

Last night we were at the neighbours and had had a few drinks, and I was chatting to a friend who told me she'd had Botox

I then told her I've been having it for a while and at that point told DH

I haven't told him before as he's made some judgy comments in the past and I thought he'd react badly

He's so annoyed with me for not telling him that he won't speak to me

Is it that bad what I've done?!

Not all couples have antiquated notion of family money.some women have their own finances

But imo his reaction to the Botox is irrelevant - he doesn't have to like you doing it, but the you still lied to him for eighteen months, then chose to tell him in front of other people!

@Tara336 Emla cream

Also OP, I don’t think I’d be impressed at finding out like that, but I wouldn’t actually be annoyed that you’d done it, if that makes sense. You should’ve just said “I’m getting Botox, it’s my choice and my money.”

What strange attitudes to a simple cosmetic procedure. It's no different to having your teeth whitened.
Botox is used in all sorts of medical procedures do people object to that as well or is just because it's 'cosmetic' that people take issue with it.

I can understand if op's husband being a little put out at the way he found out but to be 'livid'? Daft.

@Tara336 I could hardly feel it at all (cosmetic use) - I guess for medical use its injected into different muscles? Can you ask for anaesthetic cream next time? It can't cost that much, surely?!

Oops X-post!

@Bluelady if they could tell the difference I'd want a flippin' refund

I think the misogyny is actually that it is women who are expected to 'better' themselves with these types of beauty treatments, and our decisions are not made in a vacuum but we are socially conditioned to think wrinkles = bad and age = less value, especially when women are of less value to start with. Maybe DH dislikes the patriarchal suppression of women symbolised in such beauty treatments... who knows??

Thanks @bloomed and @CaptainCabinets I’ll look it up

@felicitythemangyfox I have no idea if it’s different muscules to cosmetic use but around top of my forehead it really hurts me. I’ll look up EMLA cream

Thanks for your help 🤕🙂

I also have my thread veins injected

Eh?

Sorry what does that even mean?

Aunt Lydia, I got lots of spider veins from being pregnant which I had treated to go away basically. Which they do with little injections

Maybe DH dislikes the patriarchal suppression of women symbolised in such beauty treatments... who knows??

LOL. D'you reckon?

Then he gets judgy about how women cope with patriarchal suppression.

Yeah, maybe he's one of those terrible self righteous lefty boy feminists.

What do they inject into them, OP?

I am fascinated by this. Does it actually work? Do they go away forever, or just temporarily?

Sorry am de-railing slightly, my question probably belongs in health and beauty!

I'm genuinely puzzled by the complete lack of logic here. There are se real of you paying £££ for a treatment for which you say you'd ask for a refund if anyone would notice it. What kind of lunacy is this? If it doesn't make any difference, why on earth would you bother with it? I'm honestly, sincerely bewildered.

So many, not se real, ffs!

Aunt Lydia it's permanent - called Sclerotherapy if you want to look it up!

blue I think you are deliberately trying to be confused. Or did you miss my post where I said it gets rid of my wrinkles? I doubt anyone noticed they have gone as unlikely anyone pays that much attention to me. But it makes the difference to me which is the whole point. I don't care if anyone notices.

I'm not quite at the botox stage yet (well I may well be but am putting it off) and I have glycolic peels and the like currently. I don't think I'd bother to tell my husband unless it came up for some reason. He wouldn't be interested, and I can understand why you didn't tell him.

@ElizaDontlittle

Maybe DH dislikes the patriarchal suppression of women symbolised in such beauty treatments... who knows??

Yeah, that'll be it 😂

@AskAuntLydia

I also have my thread veins injected

Sorry what does that even mean?

I used to get that done when I was younger - if you have thread veins on your cheeks you get them zapped, kills them off and they get re-absorbed.

I don't understand the snooty attitudes to women wanting to look as good as possible. Why shouldn't they? It's pretty universal - don't men have comb-overs and hair transplants?

No really not being perverse, simply incapable of understanding illogical arguments. Anyway, I'll go on my unBotoxed way.

Did you tell him in front of your neighbours because it seemed safer (because you knew he'd make a big deal out of it), or was it a genuine blurt?

I've wanted to tell him for ages, and didn't think at the time it was that bad and safe to tell him as the couple we were with had both had it

I've looked up sclerotherapy and it says it's for legs.

Do you get it done in your face OP? I don't know why, I'm just finding this fascinating. If it works it looks bloody brilliant.

what a strange reaction. maybe it's not about botox at all. Maybe he is insecure in your relationship and feels like you are trying to look good for other people, or leave him, or maybe he is scared that he would look old next to you?