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Original poster

Told DH I've been having Botox for a couple of years and he's livid

218 replies

Pooshy · 07/05/2018 14:01

Last night we were at the neighbours and had had a few drinks, and I was chatting to a friend who told me she'd had Botox

I then told her I've been having it for a while and at that point told DH

I haven't told him before as he's made some judgy comments in the past and I thought he'd react badly

He's so annoyed with me for not telling him that he won't speak to me

Is it that bad what I've done?!

OP posts:
greendale17 · 07/05/2018 14:15

I wouldn't be happy if I was sideswiped by my partner at a dinner, you knew he'd be upset and that was how you chose to tell him. That's pretty crappy.

^I agree. You should have told him before

TheStoic · 07/05/2018 14:15

I’ve never liked the ‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d react like this’ excuse.

What were his previous judgemental comments?

Laiste · 07/05/2018 14:15

So why is he so annoyed?

OliviaBenson · 07/05/2018 14:16

I'd be really upset if my DH kept something like that from me.

Only on Mumsnet is it controlling Hmm

Laiste · 07/05/2018 14:17

Gut reaction is i'd be upset too - BUT If i'd been bullish about something and then my DH did it behind my back anyway i could hardly be surprised he'd kept it from me.

CoffeeOrSleep · 07/05/2018 14:18

@PotteringAlong - many couples have joint money for bills etc then set amounts into their own accounts for "personal spends" - we do this, and while it came from family money originally, if I want to spend my money on lots of lunches out or clothes or save for something big, that's none of my DHs business.

Family123 · 07/05/2018 14:18

"a vain silly woman".
Really?
Ask him what the issue is,I'm sure it will blow over.

Nicknacky · 07/05/2018 14:19

gamer Why say she is a vain silly woman? I get it done and I'm the opposite from vain and silly. I don't hid it from h but I don't make a point of telling him when I'm getting it done.

Veterinari · 07/05/2018 14:20

I dunno. Do you tell your spouse your waxing regime? Hair highlighting regime? Discuss all of your beauty treatments and clothing purchases with him and seek his approval? If not, i’m Not sure that Botox is really any different. It’s your body and your choice.

But I agree it wasn’t great to let slip in the way that you did.

UserV · 07/05/2018 14:21

I think it's a bad sign that you didn't tell him tbh. For a number of reasons......

Doesn't bode well for your marriage IMO.

halfwitpicker · 07/05/2018 14:21

How is this a problem???!!!

OP just said it's not about money.

So what is it actually about?

saison4 · 07/05/2018 14:22

OP, wouldn't you like to know if DH is injecting poison into his body and spending £££ on it?

If it was my DH, I wouldn't like to be left in the dark about it.

halfwitpicker · 07/05/2018 14:22

I've had Botox and will be getting it again soon my dh wasn't keen on me getting it

^
Why was he not keen? Am I missing something?

Nicknacky · 07/05/2018 14:23

Ffs, it's not poison. You make it sound like she's going to kill herself doing it.

gamerwidow · 07/05/2018 14:24

Because injecting yourself with poison to try to delay the inevitable ageing process is surely the textbook definition of vain and silly. How can it be anything but?

TheStoic · 07/05/2018 14:24

Ffs, it's not poison.

It is literally poison.

QueenoftheNights · 07/05/2018 14:24

You aren't telling us WHY he was annoyed and why your KNEW he'd be annoyed.

Is he against you having any kind of beauty treatments especially something that might make you look younger ( and other men might approach you)?
Is he insecure, jealous, possessive?

Or does he not 'approve' of Botox, fillers, facelifts or whatever?

You need to get to the bottom of why he's annoyed. Letting it slip was only an issue because he was annoyed , per se, at Botox.

If he wasn't so 'funny' over it, it wouldn't matter a jot how he found out- it's not some dirty little secret but you are being made to feel it is (which is why you didn't tell him in the first place...) so the question is WHY?

QueenoftheNights · 07/05/2018 14:25

Alcohol is 'literally' poison too. Do you all drink?

Paracetamol is poison. All drugs are if you take enough of them.
What's your line on that then?

saison4 · 07/05/2018 14:25

Ffs, it's not poison.

you sound very stupid. Botox is highly toxic!

PotteringAlong · 07/05/2018 14:27

@coffeeorsleep I’m not sure that injecting poison into your body in secret is quite the same.

By that theory, it could be cocaine and it wouldn’t matter because it was their money.

Happyandyouknowitclapclap · 07/05/2018 14:27

Would you be happy if he told you he'd been secretly using steroids for years while with friends after you previously having told him you wouldn't like it?

QueenoftheNights · 07/05/2018 14:28

Botox is only a 'poison' if it's used in enormous amounts.

Booze is a poison.

If you drink too much you die.

If you take more than 8 paracetamol is day, you could die.

Some people here are just being silly.

TheStoic · 07/05/2018 14:28

Alcohol is 'literally' poison too.

Yes. Yes it is.

AmazingPostVoices · 07/05/2018 14:30

Nick Botox is Botulinum Toxin.

It is a poison, that’s why it works to temporarily block the nerve activity in the muscles.

It’s not a poison as in it will kill you, but it is quite definitely poison.

My DH and I discuss any medical treatment we have in advance. I’d be upset if he undertook something like this without telling me. And that’s quite apart from how he found out.

The OP’s DH is in no way unreasonable to be embarrassed and annoyed.

tradervictoria · 07/05/2018 14:31

Tell H you have thought for some while now that he could really benefit from botox and you were trying it out for him to see if it was safe and effective, given all the media hype. Or text it to him since he's not on speakers with you.

And anyway, he's in your debt really - but that's true love all over isn't it?

Silly sod.

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