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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that £150 is a lot to spend on a handbag?

204 replies

NooNooHead · 31/03/2018 21:32

I’m really wanting to treat myself to a Michael Kors bag on ebay or in the sale, but I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant with DC2 but am out of work and being very kindly funded by my DP (despite trying to look for work for about 5 months unsuccessfully...)

My DP are usually very kind and generous and offer to buy me something v nice, up to the value of £100. Not wanting to be frivolous, I’ve seen a Michael Kors handbag that I really like on Brandalley.co.uk that I’d like which is £185 - it is a lot more than the birthday budget, but I would try and fund the rest from selling things on ebay and having some money from other family members towards it too.

My DP didn’t think much of my idea about the handbag, and would rather I didn’t spend my birthday money on something that they don’t think is a worthwhile present. I’m very grateful for everything they do and give me, and I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth if they are offering money towards a different present, but AMA bit disappointed that I can’t buy what I really want for my birthday.

I’m probably going to come across as ungrateful or spoilt saying all this, and this is the last thing I want to be. Please tell me to get a grip on and be more grateful for being offered such a generous present, and think rationally about what would be a useful gift for my birthday. AIBU in feeling a bit unsure about how I should react and what I should buy now?

OP posts:
Original poster
NooNooHead · 31/03/2018 21:34

Forgot to say that the handbag would be my main birthday present!

OP posts:
leighdinglady · 31/03/2018 21:35

It's your birthday you should pick what you want! Maybe ask them for vouchers rather than cash so they feel they've actually bought you something

HollowTalk · 31/03/2018 21:36

I think if you're out of work and 28 weeks pregnant, then the chance of work in the near future is slim and you should save your money. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear!

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 31/03/2018 21:40

Does DP means dear partner or dear parents? It is not very clear to me.
Anyway, I think you should keep the money as savings. Yes it's your birthday but you are an adult and soon to be mother of 2 so you might need the money for essentials.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/03/2018 21:40

I have 14 bags to go with all my dresses and they didn't cost me that much combined.
I like to mix and match. I have different favorite colour ever weekGrin.
However how you choose to spend your money is entirely up to you.

extinctspecies · 31/03/2018 21:44

No, I don't think it's a lot for something you will use every day and that will give you lots of pleasure.

Go for it!

RitaMills · 31/03/2018 21:45

It’s not too much to spend on a bag but I think in your position it would be wise to save up until you’re in a better financial position. I’m not very wise though so I’d definitely probably buy the bag, justifying it as one last frivolous spend before baby. Grin

What bag is it?

pasturesgreen · 31/03/2018 21:47

It's your birthday money to spend as you wish, he doesn't get to dictate what is a 'worthwhile' present and what isn't.

pasturesgreen · 31/03/2018 21:50

I'm assuming DP is your partner here, but maybe you mean parents?

Grilledaubergines · 31/03/2018 21:52

No £150 isn’t a lot for a decent bag. Cheap clothes, bags, shoes look just that. Go for it.

Arapaima · 31/03/2018 21:52

The most expensive handbag I’ve ever bought was £50 (in the sale) so it seems a lot to me. Especially as your parents have kindly offered to spend £100 on you - I think it’s a bit cheeky to request one for £185, even if you got the rest of the money from other people. Sorry OP.

MrsJayy · 31/03/2018 21:52

Birthdays should be about wants and if you want to spend your birthday money on a handbag then crack on

MyLearnedFriend · 31/03/2018 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnooSigh · 31/03/2018 21:54

That's a lot for a MK bag isn't it? I thought they were usually well under £100?

I don't think it's a huge amount for a handbag but if you are unemployed and pregnant it may be more sensible to ask for money and to save it. Boring but sensible.

Maybe save up for a nice bag when you're working?

MadisonMontgomery · 31/03/2018 21:55

No, I don’t think £150 is a lot to spend on a handbag - but if you are unemployed then I have to say the money could probably be put to better use.

Glumglowworm · 31/03/2018 21:55

I do think that if you’re 28 weeks pregnant and out of work then you should be saving your money. If you sell things on eBay then it should be to raise money for baby stuff or living expenses, not a luxury like a £150 handbag.

Generally I’d say a gift should be something the recipient would like, not just something the giver things they should like. But if your parents are supporting you financially (which is how I read it, apologies if that DP was your partner), I can understand them not wanting to get something so frivolous and that you’d need to contribute to given the circumstances.

PitilessYank · 31/03/2018 21:56

I don't carry handbags but I have about ten pairs of vintage glasses with prescription lenses-to match my outfits. They are my handbag equivalents. I say get the bag!

LuxuryWoman2017 · 31/03/2018 21:56

If you love it and can find the rest of the money then go for it. Presents should be a bit frivolous.

Bunbunbunny · 31/03/2018 21:57

I spend up to £300 on my bags but buy one every two years, they’re made to last & I stick to a particular brand as that is my treat. I’ve spent £30 on bags before but they’ve not lasted so ended replacing them every few months.

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2018 21:57

Hang on. You were given a gift up to the value of 100 pounds. So you asked for a gift worth nearly double that at 185 pounds. You say you will "try"to fund the extra, but you at this stage are not sure you can?

I don't think it matters who thinks it's a lot of money for a bag or not. You don't ask for a gift worth 185 pounds when the budget is 100. Either you find the other 85 in advance and then take the 100 and buy You don't ask them to spend 185 when you don't have the other 85. That's really unpleasant behaviour.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 31/03/2018 21:58

I think it’s s middle of the range price but all that matters is whether you can afford it

adayatthebeach · 31/03/2018 21:58

I’ve not see a MK bag that I thought looked worth that. I’d spend that much if it was special and looked like great leather.

LovingLola · 31/03/2018 21:59

Are you speaking here about your partner or your parents?

windchimesabotage · 31/03/2018 21:59

Bags do last a long time tbf and a good one will last even longer. So I dont think it is that frivolous. Im really glad of all the things I bought when I was pregnant, because I certainly dont have the money to spend on myself now, so I still rely on the decent expensive stuff I bought whilst I was pregnant.

Coco134 · 31/03/2018 21:59

Get the bag!

£150 on a bag isn’t a lot at all!

My purse cost me £125 and I have 2 of them the same in different colours to match my 2 bags that cost me £320 for 1 and £280 for the other!

I also have other bags that cost over £100 and loads of purses that I don’t use anymore that cost over £60 odd each.

Oh and I have 2 kids! Just because your having a baby doesn’t mean jack shit.