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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that £150 is a lot to spend on a handbag?

204 replies

NooNooHead · 31/03/2018 21:32

I’m really wanting to treat myself to a Michael Kors bag on ebay or in the sale, but I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant with DC2 but am out of work and being very kindly funded by my DP (despite trying to look for work for about 5 months unsuccessfully...)

My DP are usually very kind and generous and offer to buy me something v nice, up to the value of £100. Not wanting to be frivolous, I’ve seen a Michael Kors handbag that I really like on Brandalley.co.uk that I’d like which is £185 - it is a lot more than the birthday budget, but I would try and fund the rest from selling things on ebay and having some money from other family members towards it too.

My DP didn’t think much of my idea about the handbag, and would rather I didn’t spend my birthday money on something that they don’t think is a worthwhile present. I’m very grateful for everything they do and give me, and I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth if they are offering money towards a different present, but AMA bit disappointed that I can’t buy what I really want for my birthday.

I’m probably going to come across as ungrateful or spoilt saying all this, and this is the last thing I want to be. Please tell me to get a grip on and be more grateful for being offered such a generous present, and think rationally about what would be a useful gift for my birthday. AIBU in feeling a bit unsure about how I should react and what I should buy now?

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 31/03/2018 22:19

If I am reading this right you are pregnant living with your parents who are generous and you want a bag that’s hugely expensive given your current situation. Sorry yes you are being spoilt and ungrateful as you are exceptionally lucky to get £100. If you were earning plenty of money I would say go for it but your not your asking other people who already support you to buy you a luxury. To put it in perspective you could buy a pram and car seat for that money.

Gardai · 31/03/2018 22:20

Get the bag if you really want it.
Life’s too short.
I have a MK I got a couple of years ago (I liked the colour). It’s very robust, could knock someone out and will definitely outlive me.

kristophersmum2008 · 31/03/2018 22:22

im sure ure mum and dad would have helped with babystuff so things essentials wouldnt go a miss
nappies are u doing disposables?we used asda better deals than pampers.
something nice for u to wear when u come out of hospital?
a hairdressers for after you give birth cause ull be soo tired look at groupon.
milk is like £10 a tub if ure not breast feeding ure £150 is very easily spent

HuskyMcClusky · 31/03/2018 22:23

Under those circumstances, I would definitely think it’s too much for me to spend on a bag.

Bluelady · 31/03/2018 22:24

If you can find the extra money, buy the bag. What kind of killjoys are you, telling her to save her birthday money for "essentials". It's a bloody present, ffs.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 31/03/2018 22:26

Oh my lord, seriously?! Telling someone that it’s a good investment or to buy it and treat yourself when they are not working and relying on someone else to support them is utterly stupid.

She can not afford it.

neveradullmoment99 · 31/03/2018 22:26

Some money for your birthday is a treat! Not for baby essentials unless you want it to be. Treat yourself. You probably wont get another chance while your baby is little with buying things for him/her.

diodati · 31/03/2018 22:27

Good handbags are essential, if you can afford it. It's something you use every day, not just occasionally. Besides, you'll need it for your next job interview.Grin

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 31/03/2018 22:27

If you can find the extra money, buy the bag. What kind of killjoys are you, telling her to save her birthday money for "essentials". It's a bloody present, ffs

The OP is not working, considering she has been looking for work, I would imagine she needs to.

Her DP are helping to support her.

£150 on a bag in these circumstances is ridiculous and the mind boggles why anyone would think it wasn’t.

HuskyMcClusky · 31/03/2018 22:28

‘Killjoys’?! She’s pregnant with a second child, unemployed and living with (and off) her own parents. Plus she’s £85 short.

Not encouraging someone to buy unnecessary shit they can not afford =/= ‘killjoy’.

kristophersmum2008 · 31/03/2018 22:29

28weeks no income of her own and it was a gift from mum and dad (im not sure it was to buy herself something nice for her birthday)
I would ask your parents first before you buy the bag

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2018 22:29

We are not specifically saying save your money for essentials, but in this instance I would, she's unmployed, pregnant and living off her parents as it is, so anything I could do to ease that burden and pay for myself and my child I would.

The main issue is she's asked them to buy her the 185 pound bag and basically she will owe them the 85 pounds, and only be able to give them it at some unknown point in the future,,,if she can sell stuff and if she gets any other birthday money. Otherwise, they are not just funding her living expenses, probably her kids, they also have to buy her a 185 quid handbag.

No way. It's grabby, entitled and shit.

Coco134 · 31/03/2018 22:29

If the op can find the extra money then she can buy the flipping bag. It’s meant to be a birthday treat. Not to put towards nappies and baby milk Hmm

If I told my parents I spent my bday money on a weeks shop they would call me an idiot and that’s not the point of birthday money.

Buy the bag! Buy the bag! Buy the bagGrin

Oh... life’s to short 😂

Buy what you want, it’s your bday.

Grumpyoldblonde · 31/03/2018 22:30

The bag is probably out of stock by now anyway. With brand alley you have to grab things PDQ. You can't hang around.

Bluelady · 31/03/2018 22:31

We're kindred spirits, Coco. Great name btw.

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2018 22:32

If the op can find the extra money then she can buy the flipping bag. It’s meant to be a birthday treat. Not to put towards nappies and baby milk

Well there is a big "if"there isn't there, and yeah you're right she should get the 185 quid bag and her parents can buy the nappies and milk. Hmm

windchimesabotage · 31/03/2018 22:33

'Oh my lord, seriously?! Telling someone that it’s a good investment or to buy it and treat yourself when they are not working and relying on someone else to support them is utterly stupid.

She can not afford it.'

She is not affording it though is she? This is money her parents have offered her specifically for a birthday present. As they are supporting her anyway im sure they would have clearly stated if they expected this money to be used on baby items or general essentials.
As far as I understand from the OP however its just that they dont think a handbag is a good gift. Not that they want the money spent on everyday essentials.

EssexMummy123456 · 31/03/2018 22:35

buy the bag op

wurlie · 31/03/2018 22:37

Are you fucking kidding?

You are pregnant, unemployed and being bankrolled by your parents and want to spend that on a BAG?

Just no. If you need a new bag they're a few quid in Primark. Spend the rest on things you'll need for the baby.

Jesus

wurlie · 31/03/2018 22:38

I bet once the baby is here the poor parents will be expected to fund the 17 different pushchairs the OP "needs"

RJnomore1 · 31/03/2018 22:38

It's almost twice the money you have to spend!

To answer your question no it's not that much for a bag but it's too much for YOU to soend on a bag right now as you don't have it.

And thus endeth the debate.

windchimesabotage · 31/03/2018 22:39

i dont think people are getting that the parents have asked the OP what she wants for her birthday to the sum of £100. They have not handed her £100 cash. They clearly arent going to buy stuff for the baby when they have specifically asked the OP what she wants for her birthday, so I dont understand why people are still suggesting that she buys baby things.

Coco134 · 31/03/2018 22:40

Bluelady we certainly are! Thanks, I think it’s my favourite name so far Grin

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 31/03/2018 22:41

I’d prioritise other things,stick to the £100 budget,given money is tight
Wait til your working again and then buy a nice bag
But if you’re skint and unemployed I’d be careful til you’re more solvent

Coco134 · 31/03/2018 22:42

windchimesabotage - it’s because some people can’t grasp the fact that the op parents might actually want to treat her and not spend it on baby bits! Shock