To think that £150 is a lot to spend on a handbag?

[NooNooHead]

I’m really wanting to treat myself to a Michael Kors bag on ebay or in the sale, but I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant with DC2 but am out of work and being very kindly funded by my DP (despite trying to look for work for about 5 months unsuccessfully...)

My DP are usually very kind and generous and offer to buy me something v nice, up to the value of £100. Not wanting to be frivolous, I’ve seen a Michael Kors handbag that I really like on Brandalley.co.uk that I’d like which is £185 - it is a lot more than the birthday budget, but I would try and fund the rest from selling things on ebay and having some money from other family members towards it too.

My DP didn’t think much of my idea about the handbag, and would rather I didn’t spend my birthday money on something that they don’t think is a worthwhile present. I’m very grateful for everything they do and give me, and I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth if they are offering money towards a different present, but AMA bit disappointed that I can’t buy what I really want for my birthday.

I’m probably going to come across as ungrateful or spoilt saying all this, and this is the last thing I want to be. Please tell me to get a grip on and be more grateful for being offered such a generous present, and think rationally about what would be a useful gift for my birthday. AIBU in feeling a bit unsure about how I should react and what I should buy now?

Also OP - wait for the sales.
Personally I wouldn't buy MK because its just a basic bag with the name you're paying for.

My mom has a beautiful Jager bag that she bought reduced down to £40 in selfridges. Its beautifully made and after 5 years of almost constant use its immaculate and we don't look after our possessions very well, we're a bit heavy handed.
Whilst it's up to you, I think if it's an item you need and want to splurge on, you need to look at quality too

So yes, the general crux of the matter here is really affordability and lifestyle, and using money well / living within my means a bit more

Sensible last post. In fact I do admire your honesty throughout. Your parents money is not yours. You need to stop viewing it like you're entitled to it. You and your husband are not your parents, you have a different life and need to lead it. As adults. Managing your own finances. Supporting your own family. And not demanding/living an aspirational life style on their dime.

They were right to say no to you. I'd apologise, thank them for their offer of a generous gift and pick something to the value they have articulated.

Thank you for your honesty too, Bluntness100 - you obviously have a very sensible head on your shoulders.

I can be pretty sensible about lots of things but money and finances takes a bit more work. If I didn’t have such well off parents, I would have been in the poop ages ago. I’m going to have to grow up a bit more, learn to be more self sufficient and get a bit more of a healthy attitude towards money. I think my parents do ‘infantilise’ me to a good extent - and I know i’ve always been mollycoddled by them (adopted child, very premature, and quite precious to them so they have always been very overprotective).

This of course is all about me and my attitude to finances with my DH, not my upbringing and my parents. You’re right, their money is a gift, not a right, and I am totally aware how things would be if I didn’t have that privilege.

It’a time to act my age now and live within my means, for my next DC and my family.😊

I do understand the issue. I have a daughter, only child, and I fund her probably a lot more than I should. She's 20. She does work hard at uni, but I know she takes the piss a bit. I find it hard to say no to her for anything financial. So I'm putting my self in your parents shoes and know how difficult it must be for them. So as the adult child. You need to do what's right here and not play on theit love for you and use it to your advantage.