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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to worry about my daughter's comments

204 replies

Hibbsy · 07/03/2018 13:43

Hi all, last night I got back from a 6 day business trip to Amsterdam, when I walked in last night my DD (age 5) ran up to me and gave me a hug and said "hello old mummy". I thought she was referring to my age (I'm only 32) and said "I not old!" in a jokey way and she replied "no, old mummy, i think i have a new mummy now"

When I pressed her further she said that DH had taken her to PizzaHut for her tea and they had sat with another of the mums from school and her daughter who is in same class as DD and that DD and this woman had been kissing!

I put her to bed and confronted DH, he said that he had bumped into this woman and her daughter when they got to PizzaHut and she asked him to join them and that when they were leaving he simply gave her a peck on the cheek to say goodbye. He found it funny but I am really not sure as she is very attractive and has a bit of a reputation around here (she is divorced and is known for jumping from one relationship to the next as well as having some one night stands).

I also checked our bank statement on line and the money paid to PizzaHut was around £50 so it is obvious DH not only paid for him and DD but for her and her daughter as well.

He has strayed once in the past but only a drunken snog on a stag do which he owned up to after I worked it out from jokey comments his mates made to him to try and wind him up. I don't know whether to be concerned or not?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hibbsy · 07/03/2018 13:44

DH had been kissing not DD obviously

OP posts:
ProfessorPickles · 07/03/2018 13:46

It does sound a bit worrying but could be innocent if they bumped into them there and decided to sit together etc.

The fact he paid for them and she has a reputation isn't great, but it's hard to say really!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/03/2018 13:47

I can understand why you might be concerned because if his history but I don't really think he would have done anything more than a peck on the cheek in front of DD.

flumpybear · 07/03/2018 13:49

I'd be very unimpressed by this and would be making that very clear to my husband

You could try some slut shaming around the school playground Wink

hhhxxx · 07/03/2018 13:49

I would be furious! Sorry I know it's not help but I feel so angry for you

rascallyrascal · 07/03/2018 13:49

It's unlikely any big dodgy is going on after all, everyone knows 5 year olds can't keep secrets!! I can understand why your are worried though.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 07/03/2018 13:49

i think I have a new mummy now is an incredibly strange thing for a child to say off their own bat at 5..

I would have expected her to say ‘we saw so and so and they’re mummy at pizza hut’

Very strange

MadMags · 07/03/2018 13:49

My ds told my dh once that I'd been on a date with a dad from the school! Gave him details and everything.

What had happened was there was an hour break between one pick up and the next, for both of us, and we'd both gone to the same Starbucks to pass the time! So naturally we were chatting.

However I've never strayed, drunk or otherwise. So I've never given dh a reason to think I was covering my tracks. His mind didn't go there at all, because there was no reason for it to. And that's a problem for you, I think...you have reason to doubt.

rascallyrascal · 07/03/2018 13:49

*anything

MadMags · 07/03/2018 13:50

I hardly think they'd bring their kids along to have a hot and heavy session by the salad bar at Pizza Hut!

flumpybear · 07/03/2018 13:51

Madmags
You don't hang out at the right Pizza Hit joint then ShockWink

anothersuitcase · 07/03/2018 13:51

I would be pissed off. Unless you're very wealthy it's very showy for him to pick up the bill for an acquaintance.

Also I'd point out that his behaviour obviously confused his dd! Peck on the cheek is not really the British culture for people you don't know well. Your dd clearly thought it was a bit weird, as would I. But then I don't know many people who do peck on the cheek outside close friends/ family, is it normal for him?

Finally forget about her reputation. Nobody can "tempt" your husband into turning into a cheat, only he can do that.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 07/03/2018 13:51

slut shaming mmmm she is a free agent and quite ok for her to have relationships and even God forbid!! One night stands.

The dh is the married man.

Slut shaming is a hideous expression. And so mysogynistic

TroubledLichen · 07/03/2018 13:52

If your DD was there then I doubt your DH would have taken her out for shag round the back of Pizza Hut. Unless he’s having a long term affair with her but then he’d be very sloppy/wanting to get caught if he brings your DD along to meet her so I don’t think that’s very likely. I think more probable that this woman may have flirted with him, he was flattered by the attention especially if she’s very attractive so bought her pizza? Or maybe nothing happened at all except he opted to pick up the bill to be nice. Unless there’s more to cause you to suspect than comments from your daughter and him paying for pizza?! I see why you would have issues trusting him given he’s strayed before though.

PositivelyPERF · 07/03/2018 13:52

Does your husband usually give women a kiss on the cheek? That tiny detail is important.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2018 13:52

Your daughters comment I agree is strange. There is nothing strange about them bumping into each other and him paying and giving her a peck on the cheek on departure. Kids do get shit weirdly wrong.

I really detest the whole mysogynistic she's got a reputation thing. Who the fuck has a reputation these days. So what if she had had a few relationships or had an active sex life, it doesn't mean she'd shag any man she meets, your husband included.

bec3105 · 07/03/2018 13:53

Maybe she gave him the cash and he paid the bill on his card?

NataliaOsipova · 07/03/2018 13:53

I hardly think they'd bring their kids along to have a hot and heavy session by the salad bar at Pizza Hut!

This! Worst case. This woman is a bit of a flirt and your DH is flattered. So he decides to be gallant and pick up the tab for the pizzas. But I really, really wouldn't read too much into it. If he's going to stray, he'd be very, very unlikely to do so in front of your DD.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/03/2018 13:53

It could be something, and it could be nothing.
If your dh is normally generous, the Paying isn't any cause for concern. If he's not, it is.
Has your dd ever seen the two of you properly kiss? Would she think a kiss was anything other than a peck?

AmysTiara · 07/03/2018 13:55

I'd ask him why he paid for them all.

I agree it's an odd comment for your daughter to make.

Bluelady · 07/03/2018 13:55

He could have paid the bill on his card and she gave him her share in cash. No sane person would meet his mistress with two small children in tow.

Original poster
Hibbsy · 07/03/2018 13:55

he didn't react in a guilty way to be fair, he found it funny, it's just I have seen how this other mum can be with men on nights out and i do worry he might be tempted

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 07/03/2018 13:55

Worst case. This woman is a bit of a flirt and your DH is flattered

Bullshit. Worst case it's the husband who is the flirt. Why the fuck is I think always the woman's fault.

As said before being a mature sexually active woman doesn't mean you'd shag any random who fancies their chances.

Honest to god. Some of the opinions on here about women.

Bluntness100 · 07/03/2018 13:57

it's just I have seen how this other mum can be with men on nights out and i do worry he might be tempted

And how exactly is that op? Because as much as you're trying to say the blame is all hers with her temptress ways, quite frankly It's not her, if you don't trust him that's your problem.

Pickleypickles · 07/03/2018 13:58

I agree he would have to be a whole new level of stupid to take a 5 year old along to meet the other woman. I think its more than likely all innocent Op but i do see why you're cross.