To be annoyed that because my dd isn't potty trained everyone thinks she's thick?

[WaitingForSunday17]

Well maybe not everyone but all dh's family.

She's just 2 and has a cousin who is basically the same age. This little girl is obviously very bright and has potty trained basically overnight. My dd is perhaps only average or not as bright but I don't need it rammed down my throat all the time. Every time we see them they say 'not potty trained yet then' and 'X is potty trained and she's four weeks younger than dd'

She's been better than dd since she was born. This is just the latest thing in a procession of stuff my dd can't do. I realise dd will never be as good as her cousin. I don't need it pointed out to me all the time!

It's really getting on my nerves. My dd can't help not being as clever can she? I'm sure she won't go to school in nappies.

Just tell the stfu!

Oh OP, 2 is so little! I really feel for you. People are so keen to make a big deal out of something that won't matter 5 years from now.

If it's any reassurance, meeting milestones early correlates very little with later achievements.

Just tell them to stfu 😂

Is being continent associated with intelligence now?

Great! I'm a genius!

Don't focus on which 2 year old is brightest, it leads nowhere good! They all even out in the end. I was potty trained at something ridiculous, like 18 months, and I'm a very average adult, believe me! True, some kids catch on to things quicker that others, but who cares?! Just ignore your dh's family, and never tell your dd she is anything other than completely brilliant. Please don't say she's not clever!

My son is 2 and a half and not even nearly potty trained. It hasn't once crossed my mind that this shows a lack of intelligence. I could be wrong but I believe children have to be physically ready to be potty trained not just mentally.

Try to ignore people comparing the children. They all develop differently and it doesn't mean one is less intelligent necessarily.

2? Seriously? People take this stuff way too seriously. It will all be forgotten soon enough.

My eldest daughter was horrific to potty train, my youngest daughter was literally an overnighter.

Different kids do things at different times.

Tell them to go and do one.

Your daughter is just as good as her cousin! She is herself and that is good enough!

Just 2 is very early to be potty trained but just because her cousin did this first it doesn't mean she will do everything first.

I know the comparisons are hard when there are cousins similar in age but you just need to raise your child the best way you can. Don't let her get a complex about being inferior to her cousin because of this one thing.

I would call out your family on any comments comparing the two girls, every single time they say something.

i had this with DS1, my Mil kept on and on as dh was potty trained at one year old or something stupid like that ( as if) probably because she nagged him into it!!
i feel your pain, my son just took a bit longer to grasp it, but he did in the end.
It was such a big deal for me at the time and having someone going on and on about it is annoying - try to ignore them, although its hard.
your child will do it in her own time.

There is no evidence that suggests children who hit developmental milestones early during the first couple of years are any more intelligent than their peers. Please stop thinking that your daughter is less intelligent than her cousin!
And tell ILs to shut up

Potty training has nothing to do with intelligence.

I was potty trained at 18 months and I'm quite average 😂😂

Jesus Christ, she's only 2! There's loads of time for training. Some people seem to treat milestones like a competition. Your daughter will be ready in her own time, don't let anyone make you feel bad. For what it's worth, my 2 and a half year old is still nowhere near ready for training. I'm sure between 2 and 3 is the average age.

Wow. They sound nice. Not.

Potty training isn’t linked to intelligence. Some just get it quicker than others.

And besides commenting on a child’s intelligence or supposed lack thereof is just horrible in itself. My ds is 5 and has autism and learning disabilities and still uses a potty. And so what?! You don’t get a medal for taking a pee in the right place.

Yabu for believing toilet training is anything to do with intelligence op.

Anyway, the day is yet young for the other dc. Ds1 was potty trained by 22 months (night and day). He was like that for a year and then regressed when he started nursery and was back in pull ups from age 3-3.5 and until 5 at night.

Ha, DD wasn't reliably dry until she was 6 and she's bright as a button, top of her class etc.
What a load of nonsense. Tell them.

‘How sad that you need to compare such young children. They’re both wonderful in their own ways. May I suggest you stop comparing your daughter’s self-worth to her ability to use the toilet. She is so much more than that. Pity you can’t see beyond that.’

Not being as bright as a cousin doesn't make her any less important or loveable though! They shouldn't be putting your DD down even if she isn't as bright as her cousin; it will only lead to anger and jealousy within the family.

I know kids do stuff at different times. It's just been rubbish that my dd is behind her cousin at every turn!
I can see years of it. Reading levels. SATS. GCSEs. Argh!

I potty trained my second child at about 18 months but would never ram this down someone's throat.

Your child is only just two so probably a bit early yet.

Just ignore them op.

My philosophy is they all bring trouble, some of us get it over with and have trouble potty training, sleeping, feeding and temper tantrums. Other people get it when they are teenagers. Guess which is easier.

Might be a mad philosophy but you would be amazed how often I have seen it work like that, so maybe in ten or 15 years you will be the one smiling.

Even if it doesn't work it sometimes make the difficult times easier.

you will have to find some kind of coping strategy with all this - and not compare. i know its hard - people will compare everything related to your daughter or not.
makes parenting so hard, i can really sympathise. i hope there are others on here with better advice for you.

My dd, now 17, was almost 4 before she got the hang of it. Got 10 A*s at GCSE. It’s potty training not an intelligence test.
Some family members cannot help but turn every aspect of child development into a competition. Don’t let them get to you.

Toddlers are potty trained when they are ready. No reflection on intelligence at all. I think I would be steering clear of your cousin if I were you. Your DD does not need to be compared to her constantly particularly if you are not the sort to be able to laugh it off or dismiss it with a comment. It is a little worrying to say you think she will never be as good as her cousin unless you were being sarcastic? Stop comparing children. They all get there eventually.

Ha, my DS1 was a very late talker, no words at all until 3, speech therapy until he was 5, a late reader etc. He's at university now studying maths after getting 3 A* at A level. Just to prove that hitting milestones late isn't always an indicator of intelligence.

DS2 however...