To be annoyed that because my dd isn't potty trained everyone thinks she's thick?

[WaitingForSunday17]

Well maybe not everyone but all dh's family.

She's just 2 and has a cousin who is basically the same age. This little girl is obviously very bright and has potty trained basically overnight. My dd is perhaps only average or not as bright but I don't need it rammed down my throat all the time. Every time we see them they say 'not potty trained yet then' and 'X is potty trained and she's four weeks younger than dd'

She's been better than dd since she was born. This is just the latest thing in a procession of stuff my dd can't do. I realise dd will never be as good as her cousin. I don't need it pointed out to me all the time!

It's really getting on my nerves. My dd can't help not being as clever can she? I'm sure she won't go to school in nappies.

My brother and sister in law used to worry like hell about DNiece who walked late and wasn't potty trained till she was 3.

DNiece has just gone up to Oxford and is confidently predicted an excellent degree.

I wasn't potty trained til 3 - in the 1960s (the shame!... apparently...) but still got a first in Maths - IMAGINE how bright I'd be if I'd just got there earlier!

The other 2 year old being very bright is a complete irrelevance. Toilet training is not linked to intelligence in any way whatsoever.
Neither is early walking; another source of extreme competitiveness!

I can see years of it. Reading levels. SATS. GCSEs

No-one is going to know your child's reading levels or SATs result unless you tell them. In your shoes, if necessary I'd be incredibly tempted to lie.

Competitive parenting is really a strong indication to get a life. Ignore.

If the other kid is out of nappies by 2 ...she is an alien.

If it was me I would scream at them op. Every child is different and does things at different times. My son is 2 years 4 months and isn't trained, we haven't even started yet as he wasn't showing signs of being ready until very recently. So we decided that with us having recently moved house, and then with Christmas round the corner, we'd wait until the new year to start. So we will hopefully start toilet training next week (not having a potty at all).
But honestly 2 is young to be trained.

My youngest DD is almost 3 and not interested at all in getting rid of the nappies!!
My neighbours DS is 2 days older than her and has been out of nappies for about 2 months.

However, he regularly has accidents and struggles to communicate if he needs the potty. Whereas my DD communicates very well, so well that she can tell us she doesn't want to use the potty and wants to keep her nappy on.

Basically what I'm trying to say is the same as others that perceived intelligence, or comparisons doesn't matter as all children are different.

I have an acquaintance who regularly talks about all the things her child is doing and how fantastic her child is but isn't interested in the achievements on anyone else's child. You just have to nod, smile and drink

My daughter will use the toilet some of the time and asks if we are at home but I could in no way take her out the house and wouldn't for a second say she's anywhere near ready to be potty trained like her cousin.
I don't like when they say to dd 'you'd better hurry up and get out of those nappies like x'

Or you could try:

"Early potty training? What a shame, did you know that there was a well-attested correlation between late potty training and achieving university level qualifications? What bad luck! I do hope things improve for her"

Stop comparing and stop listening!

My DS was potty trained in the day at 18 months, ridiculously young.

My DD about 28 months before she went near a potty

They are all so different! Ignore ignore ignore!

Tell her parents that she may have peaked too soon... Your daughter is just biding her time, thinking deep thoughts.

Just tell them she'll do it when she's ready but at the moment she is just enjoying being 2 and having fun mastering her French and Latin skills

Make light of it and to make them stfu say " she's not bothered, I'm not bothered, she's happy and healthy so that's my no 1 priority

other parents will always THINK their child better is better than yours but at least you KNOW your child is the best

"At least DD is being rude/unkind like you are at xx age"

I know that logically and that's what I'd say to someone else who had the same worries...
But it's just so annoying!!! They've inferred since she was born that is is better - prettier, easier, cleverer, happier, more special. It just annoys me!

Dh is on board with it too. He's said since they were about four months that dd is 'behind' her cousin and that cousin is much more 'fun'

2 is really young to be fully potty trained! And it’s definitely nothing to do with intelligence. My eldest dd was nearly 3 by the time she was dry. She recently finished uni with 1st class honours. I’ve actually no idea where she gets her brains from! 😀

Think I'd stop visiting these rude people who can't keep their opinions to themselves!

I didn't toilet train until my daughter was 3, partly because she wasn't ready and partly because I watched SIL get so stressed trying to do it early. I can honestly say waiting is the best policy. We were dry in the day straight away, didn't bother with a potty and used the toilet with a trainer seat straight away. Stayed in pull-ups at bed time until they were consistently dry in a morning, which was about 6 months later. Much easier then I expected! My LB has just turned 2 and I've already had comments about starting potty training. Am just ignoring them, we'll do it when he's ready, probably in another 6-12 mth - might be earlier than his sister and he wants to copy everything she does, but I'll just wait and see. Mine are often compared to their cousins...honestly I just nod, and then ignore it all. In one ear and out the other!! They all do stuff differently...I'm secretly proud mine sleep through and their cousins don't, but I'd never say that to SIL (even when she's rubbing me up the wrong way!!).

Lol, gifted kids are often late tbh.

potty training is in my experience more of a physical skill than a cognitive one, i.e. something driven by intelligence.

e.g. one child in my extended family is not bright at all, aged 7 her reading & even talking are still quite sketchy, but she's great at sports & games and seemed to be fully potty trained at at about the same time she was walking [c one year].

whereas another child in my extended family is a proper little brainbox, consistently the best reader in his year at school, but for whatever reason was entirely comfortable sitting in his own filth until not far off his 4th birthday.

I can see years of it. Reading levels. SATS. GCSEs. Argh!
Stop it! My nephews scored higher than my kids in all of those things but it really doesn't matter - my kids are kind, hard working and generally nice to be around (unlike the nephews)

Op it seems the issue is with your cousin and not the issue of potty training.
Are they even in their right minds to say their dd is prettier, smarter etc than your child?
Wow... I wouldn't even have let them finish the sentence,

You choose who you mix with, I know what I would do...

I'd stop visiting them they sound very boring. Did I read right that your husband prefers his nice to his/your dd?
How very sad for dd.

I agree with random - limit your contact to the bare minimum, they sound awful.