Easy way to kill my mother in law and get away with it

[Quickerthanavicar]

Lighthearted obviously, but they are here for two weeks and she's beginning to grate.

2 weeks? Are there no other family members to palm her off on?

My DM used to set DGM to work clearing the garage or washing venetian blinds or anything lengthy which would keep her out of the way. Would that work for you?

It doesn’t matter how you do it-it’s justifiable homicide.

You need to do a swap with someone on here; you kill their dh for you, they kill you mil (or even better, do a three or four way round robin murder).

That way you avoid detection. After all, there will be no obvious motive or connection between murderer and victim.

Two weeks 5 days here and was stabby by the time she left. Setting her to work wouldn’t help as her arse is stuck to sofa.

No, unfortunately not.
On getting the chutney for the turkey curry out of the cupboard I was told she never eaten anything from a church fair. It was made my a company and sold at the church fair, but this is still not good enough.

ButchyRestingFace Are you sure you don't mean grapefruit juice and statins? I'm flourishing on antihistamine and grapefruit.

If you kill someone with a massive iceblock to the back of the head, where does the DNA evidence go when it melts?

ButchyRestingFace Are you sure you don't mean grapefruit juice and statins? I'm flourishing on antihistamine and grapefruit

Do you have a heart complaint though?

It’s probably bollocks anyway. Never heard about grapefruit and statins. And not about to put it to the test!

Get your DH to take her out for lunch/ shopping/ theatre without you. Heartily encourage 1:1 outings so that they can catch up without others being in the way.
Just the two of them.
Repeat every day.
She'll think you're marvellous give her space with her dearest son and you get rid for a few hours.
Your DH may reconsider a two week stay in future.

I thought antihistamines and grapefruit, just meant the antihistamines didn't work.

Got access to insulin? Mimics a natural death in a non-diabetic person. Or an air embelism 🤔

Or could she go for a walk & fall off a cliff?

You could just keep her dosed up on something that keeps her sedate & lovely & not-so-irritating...less chance of a murder charge 😂😂

I thought antihistamines and grapefruit, just meant the antihistamines didn't work.

Imma gonna google.

Be right back. 🧐

You know it’s okay to just bash her over the head and bury her under the patio right?

(Lighthearted)

Butchy eagerly awaiting your findings...need to update my 'ways to kill people' list 😬

Your MIL's reaction to the chutney could mean that might work... Courage, mon brave!

Here’s something:

www.drugs.com/slideshow/grapefruit-drug-interactions-1028

Anyone on this thread is screwed if their MiL drops off the perch in “unexplained” circumstances in the near future. 😬

Frozen Leg of lamb, then cook and eat it.

My pharmacist warned me about grapefruit and my bp pills reacting. He quizzed me closely about my diet lilt habit. The grapefruit counteract some pills working properly.

No help with your mil, sorry.

Frozen Leg of lamb, then cook and eat it.

I 💕 that story!!!

Is it bad that I was totes cheering on the preggo wife? 😳

Count, I love that idea for the getting rid of DNA factor, but what's happening to the body?

Thanks for starting this thread OP - I needed a laugh very badly.

Blatantly placemarking for the answer !!!

Take to your bed with a horrible lurgey that means you cannot cook or be in human contact but requires constant mental stimulation in the form of DVDs, internet and reading. Ask people to leave your food on a tray outside the bedroom door and croak out a wan 'thank you so much' as they scuttle away.