Easy way to kill my mother in law and get away with it

[Quickerthanavicar]

Lighthearted obviously, but they are here for two weeks and she's beginning to grate.

She didn't take the item?? I'd have abandoned her in the lingerie department with the equally deranged priests.

Irk that has ruined my favourite story , although it's still pretty good. haven't looked back at thread but it was me who said that originally.

The Segway story is especially sad because am sure irk will correct me it is death by politeness. My understanding is the Segway not inventor owner had a footpath running through his property which he allowed folks to ramble freely on. he was on his Segway one day and moved out of the way of a couple to allow them through... right over the edge of a cliff.

You need a big load of ice. If you use ice as the weapon, your fingerprints will melt away...

OMG Piggy let that be a lesson; never be polite near a cliff edge 😱 The irony is wonderful tho and a bit desrespectful to him, i fully appreciate that!

She didn't take the item??

That would be the murder weapon!

@Quickerthanavicar

TWO weeks..? Are you nuts? I couldn't put up with mine for 2 days - and only just tolerate 2 hours!

I've heard an Icicle is the best 'weapon' - it melts and leaves no prints!

They were taken out for the day and I was allowed some quiet time. Missed the end of the film I was watching, to prevent FIL striding into our bedroom in search of power spray for the bathroom. After being repeatedly told I'll have a look in a minute.

Is this length of visit above and beyond?

I want to kill mine too but am only half joking. Will swap victim's with you. Mine fell out of my car and ended up laid up unable get to the loo/feed herself etc so cue everyone having run round after her all Christmas. She has told everyone l was 'sat on my arse in the driver seat' when she fell. I actually told her to wait for me to walk round the car (central locking broken) to help her in. Did she wait? Did she fuck.

They have gone

Ugh 2 weeks. I can barely tolerate MIL staying overnight (we have a small flat and there is no escaping her).

We were debating buying a house, with the vague idea of aged parents moving in one day if needed... I really don't think I could cope with that !

I find that murder is probably quite straight forward but hiding the body is far harder. And for this reason alone, many people in the Home Counties are safe. If you see me buy a pig farm though, watch out...

Gone? Gone?

What did you do to them, OP?

Well it's very windy out. Suggest a walk in a wood, branches snap off and clunk people on the head all the time...

The rule is family and fish are good for 3 days. Unless they live in another country and you have no choice but a longer visit.

InspMorse that's my plan ! Three week visits are the norm here I make sure dh gets lots of quality time. Sadly I have to do lots of cover at work lie in the sauna at the gym and this year I am doing a 30 day yoga program which means locking myself in a room alone for an hour a day

Two. Weeks.

They have gone, or maybe they are gone?

It's ok to daydream I suppose