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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed I have to pay for this "Christmas meal"

193 replies

FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 05:53

The other week I was invited to join a departmental "Christmas lunch". I don't often get invited to group lunches so I was quite pleased with the invitation and said yes (I'm not in the same department but part of a much smaller team which sits next to theirs).

We had pizza and fried chicken and a cake, not loads of food.

I've now been told I need to pay £40 for my piece of chicken and half a pizza! It's so expensive because apparently half this team had their birthdays recently and this is their birthday treat so we must all pay for them!

It was my birthday recently too, not that any of them cared about that. I feel I was invited just to pay for their lunch. It was really awkward at the meal. I was one of the first to sit down and everyone else clustered themselves away from me leaving the seats next to me empty until the last person showed up and had no choice but to sit next to me.

OP posts:
araiwa · 15/12/2017 05:56

just laugh at them

troodiedoo · 15/12/2017 05:57

They asked you to pay well after the event? That's the height of cf-erey! Tell them to do one.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/12/2017 06:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t be willing to pay that much. I would say that I am happy to pay 1/however many there were of you of the cost but that’s it.

HuskyMcClusky · 15/12/2017 06:01

Yeah, right.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:02

Well the lunch was Wednesday and it's now Friday so only asked for payment a couple of days after. When it was first suggested a couple of weeks ago though it was described as a departmental lunch which have always been covered by the entertainment budget of the department.

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Pluckedpencil · 15/12/2017 06:06

The answer is no. No way. Say you'll pay for yourself or they can pay for you as it was your birthday recently

hidinginthenightgarden · 15/12/2017 06:07

They asked for £40?? Just say no, its obvious how unreasonable they are being. If they push it point out it was your birthday recently too so you shouldn't have to pay at all.

SunshineTheMonkey · 15/12/2017 06:15

Just say Ha ha, very funny. It was my birthday too so I'll put the £40 with the presents you all gave me shall I?

And whatever happens. Do. Not. Pay.

EmilyChambers79 · 15/12/2017 06:21

How many people were there?

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:21

I don't think I'll see the guy who asked for the money until after Christmas now so I won't pay until then. He did helpfully provide his bank details on the email request though.

Taking account of everyone there and splitting it evenly the cost should be more like £23 so still bloody expensive for pizza, chicken and (nasty) cake but less awful..

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CocaColaTruck · 15/12/2017 06:23

Point out it was your birthday as well so you owe nothing.

acornsandnuts · 15/12/2017 06:24

It sounds like a children’s party menu Confused sorry not helpful I know.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:27

It was like a children's party menu...well I've learnt my lesson about saying yes to these things in future!

I think there were about 13 of us and maybe 4 or 5 birthdays and one boyfriend of someone who isn't on the list.

I guess for the rest of them it evens out if they do it for everyone's birthday but I'm never normally invited! Maybe I'll just pay him £25 and be done with it. Surely it would be too cheeky to say I'm not paying cause it was my birthday?!

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Splinterz · 15/12/2017 06:27

splitting it evenly the cost should be more like £23

Presumably the birthday people aren't paying therefore the cost per head is bumped up.

Play the clever game - say you originally thought you were being treated for you birthday. Or ignore the email. Which ever takes your fancy. If you do get pressurised, ask to see the bill.

Although - who did you think was paying for the team lunch if you didn't pay on the day?

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:28

I am loathe to pay more than my fair share though. And subbing everyone else's birthdays doesn't seem fair...

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Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:29

Splinters I thought it was being paid for by the company. We normally have subsidised Christmas meals around this time of year and that was what I thought this was.

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pigeondujour · 15/12/2017 06:30

Someone's boyfriend was there? This just sounds like madness. I would refuse to pay £40 and pay the £23 and not go out with them again.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:32

The boyfriend does work for the same company but a completely different department / area. I don't know if it was also his birthday or whether he was just missed off the list of participants!

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 15/12/2017 06:32

40 quid?! Is he having a laugh? I wouldn't pay them a bean. Apart from anything else, if payment was required then he should have told you this first. I'd email him back:

Dear batshit idiot,

I think there has been a misunderstanding. I was invited to join Team name for what I was told was a departmental lunch. If I had known that I would need to pay £40 to cover my attendance then I would have declined the invite. I had to cover my own costs when my birthday occurred recently, so would expect others to do the same.

I'm not in a position to pay this money and would suggest you approach Team Manager name to see if your costs can be covered by the entertainment budget.

Regards,
Feather

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/12/2017 06:39

That's insane. They can't ask for money like that after the fact, especially not £40 ph for crappy food. Even if it was the best fried chicken and pizza in the world, even £23 is a lot for a lunch.

We're paying that for our work Christmas lunch next week and we're getting 3 courses of excellent food, that is more imaginative and better food than the usual Christmas set menu, in a local restaurant.

I would send the above suggested reply and develop permanent amnesia on the matter.

Splinterz · 15/12/2017 06:41

O/T not hat it is your problem - but my curiosity is piqued - who settled the bill at the restaurant and will he/she be out of pocket? And why didn't the muppet get the money at the table?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 15/12/2017 06:43

Lol @ £40. I'd give them a fiver as a gesture of goodwill.

Birthday people can still pay for themselves. CFs.

InfiniteSheldon · 15/12/2017 06:47

Just reply saying thankyou it was lovely to be treated for my birthday and to think I was expecting to pay! You've really made me feel part of the team add a smiley face as well

neveradullmoment99 · 15/12/2017 06:48

I would just ignore the email.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 06:49

Three people in that department split the cost (one got the cake, one got the pizza and one got the chicken). It wasn't even in a restaurant - it was takeout in our staff canteen! They'd be out of pocket if I didn't pay which I would feel bad about. Not that I like any of them very much...

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