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Original poster

To be annoyed I have to pay for this "Christmas meal"

193 replies

FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 05:53

The other week I was invited to join a departmental "Christmas lunch". I don't often get invited to group lunches so I was quite pleased with the invitation and said yes (I'm not in the same department but part of a much smaller team which sits next to theirs).

We had pizza and fried chicken and a cake, not loads of food.

I've now been told I need to pay £40 for my piece of chicken and half a pizza! It's so expensive because apparently half this team had their birthdays recently and this is their birthday treat so we must all pay for them!

It was my birthday recently too, not that any of them cared about that. I feel I was invited just to pay for their lunch. It was really awkward at the meal. I was one of the first to sit down and everyone else clustered themselves away from me leaving the seats next to me empty until the last person showed up and had no choice but to sit next to me.

OP posts:
Ivehadtonamechangeforthis · 15/12/2017 06:54

I would definitely say no that's an unreasonable amount of money and I wasn't asked if I was happy to pay for everyone who has had a birthday and btw it was my birthday recently so does that mean I don't have to pay?

I would then ask the guy if everyone paid for themselves how much per head would it be? and that would be what I would pay.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 15/12/2017 06:58

They'd be out of pocket if I didn't pay which I would feel bad about.

Don't feel bad. It was their choice to choose to do this . If they needed to make sure they weren't out of pocket then they should have been upfront about it. You can't charge someone after the fact - especially if you told that person it was a departmental lunch and implied that it would be covered by the entertainment budget!!

Apart from anything else, having to pay £40 for half a pizza, a couple of bits of fried chicken and a slice of cake is fucking bonkers. If the birthday lot are all being subbed as a 'treat' then that's up to their team.

Seriously, don't pay the money. And if they get arsey about it then I'd go to your manager and tell them. This if bloody insane - and if I found out some of my team had tried to pull a stunt like this I'd be putting a stop to it.

If a team has a get-together in the staff canteen and it's not going to be covered by the firm, then the usual protocol is to agree between them all what they want to order. Then they tell everyone what they will owe, collect the money IN ADVANCE and go off and collect the food. Problem avoided - because everyone's had input into what they were ordering, and everyone knows the cost because they have agreed and paid it upfront.

InfiniteSheldon · 15/12/2017 06:58

How can that possibly be £40 per head. 8 people paying makes it £360 did the cake come from Harrods?

Imbroglio · 15/12/2017 07:00

They should have said in advance if they wanted you to pay, then you would have had the choice.

I think paying for yourself as a gesture of goodwill is fine.

What's the betting that they tried to get this on expenses and the team leader didn't authorise it?

SummatFishyEre · 15/12/2017 07:03

Absolutely send back the email above and DON'T PAY ANYTHING

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 07:04

Yeah, it was an expensive meal. Tbh I was surprised just how expensive though. Most of the cost was on the chicken.

OP posts:
ElinoristhenewEnid · 15/12/2017 07:05

That is one expensive staff restaurant with 8 people paying that is £320. Did santa personally cook the food?
Are you sure its not £40 in total for everyone? Even that seems expensive!

zippey · 15/12/2017 07:08

I wouldn't pay. Just ignore the email.

If you do pay, I would pay about £20 as to the cost of your meal.

If everyone is paying their way it needs to be clarified. It sounds like they were sneakily trying to get a big group going before landing folks with the bill.

Get angry OP!

zippey · 15/12/2017 07:09

You can get a nice Nando's meal for less than a tenner.

SleepFreeZone · 15/12/2017 07:10

I'd ignore the email too. Let them chase you in person and then explain that you had no idea that 1) it was an invite for a non subsidised meal and 2) that you would be expected to pay for other people on top of your own costs. At the very most I would only pay for my own meal. £40 for such a miserable meal is madness.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/12/2017 07:12

I wouldn't pay as it sounds to me like they are taking the piss on the cost.

If they pushed I would want to see the bill and what everyone else was paying.

WarningSign · 15/12/2017 07:13

Do you know the total cost of the food - can you estimate it?

I'd then work out what was fair for your share and pay that. Even that is more than they should get, as any cost should have been included on the invite or it is assumed that there is none. Definitely not subbing for others if that wasn't explicitly detailed before the event.

Anything other than your fair share for what you consumed (whilst still annoying as it wasn't explained on the invitation), is just not your responsibility.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 07:14

Yeah we could have gone out for a nice meal for half the cost of this takeout! I think they didn't really co-ordinate with each other or add up just how much they were spending and it spiralled a bit. The more I think about it the more annoyed I am. I'll just ignore the email until after Christmas.

OP posts:
AdalindSchade · 15/12/2017 07:15

How many of you are chipping in £40? Because no way should that much food cost 23 per head. The costing is mad. Do not pay.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 07:15

I am going to look like a cow refusing to treat other people for their birthday though.

OP posts:
marywasneeavirgin · 15/12/2017 07:16

Please don't hand over you money you are being massively taken the piss out of.

magpiemischief · 15/12/2017 07:18

If the stuff was from the staff canteen, go and price up your own celebration. If there is a huge discrepancy ask about it explaining what you've done. Start with 'I think you might have made a mistake because...'.

Changebagsandgladrags · 15/12/2017 07:19

Offer to pay your share only (not more than £10) and tell them you also had a birthday so technically it should be free.

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 07:20

I checked again and he did make a mistake on the maths! Doesn't reduce the bill by much but a little bit. So 9 of us are paying £35 each, 5 birthdays and one free-loading boyfriend. Should be £21 each.

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 15/12/2017 07:20

I am going to look like a cow refusing to treat other people for their birthday though.

But they didn't tell you that you'd have to cover the costs of other people's birthdays!!

Just. Say. No.

Don't feel bad. And if they want to 'discuss it' then calmly explain that it is incredibly unreasonable to invite you to the lunch and then only tell you afterwards that it was going to cost £40!!

Violletta · 15/12/2017 07:20

I think you need to contact them is and not wait til after Christmas
they might be relying on the money and the sooner you let them know your not paying 40 the better

Original poster
FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 07:21

The food wasn't from the canteen. We had takeout which we ate in the canteen (which is really just a dining area with a coffee machine).

OP posts:
WarningSign · 15/12/2017 07:21

OP
You won't look like a cow if you explain not paying in terms of it was your birthday recently, too, so that means you are on the "birthday person eats free" list!

LazyDailyMailJournos · 15/12/2017 07:23

X-post.

If you really feel that you want to contribute towards it - and I wouldn't, but I understand that you might feel awkward because you have to work there - then pay £21.

If he asks why there's a shortfall then explain that you've checked the menu worked out the costs and allowed for 5 people's birthdays. If he queries about the boyfriend then look blank and tell him that he said you were only subbing people's birthdays - and if the boyfriend didn't have a birthday then he should be paying up like everyone else.

Why would it be OK for the boyfriend to freeload and not you - bearing in mind that you didn't even know you were going to be charged?

Roussette · 15/12/2017 07:23

I would pay online £20 or £23 with an email to him saying - this is my contribution, no one told me about subsiding people for birthdays so I'm paying for my meal.

I wouldn't leave it hanging around till after Christmas because this way with the christmas flurry and a break from work it will all be forgotten by NY

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