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Original poster

To be annoyed I have to pay for this "Christmas meal"

193 replies

FeatherFairy · 15/12/2017 05:53

The other week I was invited to join a departmental "Christmas lunch". I don't often get invited to group lunches so I was quite pleased with the invitation and said yes (I'm not in the same department but part of a much smaller team which sits next to theirs).

We had pizza and fried chicken and a cake, not loads of food.

I've now been told I need to pay £40 for my piece of chicken and half a pizza! It's so expensive because apparently half this team had their birthdays recently and this is their birthday treat so we must all pay for them!

It was my birthday recently too, not that any of them cared about that. I feel I was invited just to pay for their lunch. It was really awkward at the meal. I was one of the first to sit down and everyone else clustered themselves away from me leaving the seats next to me empty until the last person showed up and had no choice but to sit next to me.

OP posts:
diddl · 15/12/2017 09:07

I agree with Why

I wouldn't bother saying whay others owe.

Just what your share is.

calzone · 15/12/2017 09:11

This would annoy me so much especially when you could have gone to Prezzo for the set menu plus alcohol for £22!!!!!

And why would anyone think you would want to celebrate and pay for other people's birthdays.......

Just send the email and move on.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/12/2017 09:11

I vote for mentioning that the cost should have been mentioned in the invitation email ... i.e "Just for future reference it would be useful if you could include any amounts payable in any future invitations"...

calzone · 15/12/2017 09:12

Or do a Phoebe and have a meltdown about the teeny tiny salad and soup.......😂😂

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 15/12/2017 09:13

What lazyDaily put is perfect. Please don’t be bullied into paying.

expatinscotland · 15/12/2017 09:18

I HATE people who rip the piss out of others like this! What a load of wank, they are using you. FUCK them!

"I'm not normally part of your birthday rota. I won't ask you guys to cover the cost of my meal but also not sure it's fair I should cover your teams birthday meal costs, especially as I was not told the cost in advance. So here is 20 for my meal.'

THE END!

And get a new job because these people are cunts, they invited you to pay for them and treated you like shit whilst you were there and now they're treating you like shit some more. They don't like you, you say, so fuck paying for their birthdays.

Hissy · 15/12/2017 09:18

I’d say send the email but with a contribution of no more than £20.

So fucking what if it pisses them off, they invited you as a chump to help pay, and there are others invited who aren’t paying.

Fuck em.

Hissy · 15/12/2017 09:19

expat said it better Grin

expatinscotland · 15/12/2017 09:24

You say they'll talk about you behind your back if you capitulate to their bullying bollocks and hand over 40 quid? They already are! They used you, they discussed inviting you to use you and now they are to extract money from to pay for them. They will laugh their arses off if you hand over 40 pounds. So fuck them. They're already talking so give 'em 20 and don't have anything further to do with them again. They are cunts.

Appuskidu · 15/12/2017 09:29

They will laugh their arses off if you hand over 40 pounds. So fuck them.

I think this is very true. They will also now invite you every event (opening of a cardboard box?!) in future to test you to see if you you’ll cough up cash for them. Do they think you are desperate for friends?

They sound truly unpleasant.

FluffyWuffy100 · 15/12/2017 09:29

Agree your email is really good - very fair, but also firm without being antagonistic. Well done.

ptumbi · 15/12/2017 09:32

It sounds to me like they are trying to get a few quid out of you OP.

Charge you £40, then everyone else (excluding Birthday people Angry) will pay £10 each! Funny funny!

Sucker Angry

ptumbi · 15/12/2017 09:35

Xpost with you Appus and Expat!

sweetsomethings · 15/12/2017 09:39

Please send that email don't let them take advantage

expatinscotland · 15/12/2017 09:39

Quite, ptumbi. Personally, I wouldn't pay them a bean and would completely ignore the email or any other requests for extortion money, but if she is going to pay, then 20 for the meal. That's it.

lololove · 15/12/2017 09:41

I'm not all the way through yet lovely - but don't pay until you've had a facetoface with the person asking and clarify it.

It's far too much! There's every chance that you're covering up to four people if not more) alone given what the fare was - roughly £10 would seem about right - especially with so many people involved) - they could be taking advantage of the fact that they've treated you so horribly since you arrived :( I'm sorry love!

BerylStreep · 15/12/2017 09:44

What Bluebird posted earlier in the thread is perfect:

Hi, sorry I think there has been some confusion. I'm not normally included in your birthday rota and attended the meal thinking it was a Christmas meal, which are normally subsidised by the department. As I was mistaken I'm happy to pay for my meal so I've transferred you £21. Next time, if there is going to be additional costs then I'd appreciate if you let me know in advance. Merry Christmas, x.

The only change I would suggest is rounding the figure down to £20, as £21 somehow seems pedantic. Give £20, then forget about it.

I don't think you should be commenting on what others owe - that's for other people to sort out.

HeckyPeck · 15/12/2017 09:48

"I'm not normally part of your birthday rota. I won't ask you guys to cover the cost of my meal but also not sure it's fair I should cover your teams birthday meal costs, especially as I was not told the cost in advance. So here is 20 for my meal.'

Yes to this. Cheeky buggers!

ijustwannadance · 15/12/2017 09:53

If it needed paying for then that should've been discussed pre meal and paid for on the day.
Do not allow these dickheads to take advantage of you.
It was horribly calculated to invite you knowing they planned to do this.

Fuck em.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 15/12/2017 09:53

I am cringing at a lot of these suggested replies - whoever said 'you don't want to be Ross' has it right I think.

Unless you think it's actually a deliberate attempt to swindle you, I'd be prepared to chalk it up to experience and pay.

If you want to try to get out of some/all of the cost I'd go more lighthearted with my response, something like:

"Wow, I wasn't expecting a £40 bill for pizza and chicken! To be honest I thought this was covered by the entertainment budget! I'm not normally included in your team lunches so didn't know you have a birthday rota either. In the circumstances hope it's OK if I just cover my share rather than subbing the recent birthdays. Thanks!

BerylStreep · 15/12/2017 09:55

Good suggestion Bubbins. The tone is good in your.

BerylStreep · 15/12/2017 09:55

yours

Theresnonamesleft · 15/12/2017 09:58

If they didn’t use coupons or ask for a discount more fool them.
As for asking for cash after - not a chance

Bubbinsmakesthree · 15/12/2017 10:04

As for the suggestions to take it to HR - get a grip people!

"I was invited to a lunch that cost more than expected and no-one sat next to me." That's not a HR issue.

Collaborate · 15/12/2017 10:08

The final point I want to make is that you were not part of the group that agreed to subsidise the birthday people. They can't hang that on you.

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