Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this Headmistress is living in another era

242 replies

inabizzlefam · 13/10/2017 22:55

Picked DS 1 up from school today and he informed me that I had to be at his school on Monday at 1pm for “parents evening “.
Sorry but since when did evening start at 1pm.
I told DS I couldn’t get then as I would be working but he could ask his dad to attend as he is self employed so could juggle stuff around to fit it in.
DS says “headmistress says I had to ask you(mum) because she says all the dads won’t be able to go as they’ll be at work”.
Not sure what I’m more 😮 at: the fact that she assumes all mums spend their day watching daytime tv with a hobnob so can drop everything to attend parents evenings in the middle of the day, or that the dads are all far too busy to put themselves out to possibly be the slightest bit interested in their childs education.

OP posts:
Barbie222 · 13/10/2017 23:18

i wouldn't be impressed by that at all. Email them with the times you are available and politely point out that you are working in the afternoons. You won't be the only one. What would their own staff do should they have an appointment for their child?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 13/10/2017 23:20

Have you asked the head mistress if she said that? Not that i think your DS is lying but children can tend to embellish or get things mixed up!

sadiemm2 · 14/10/2017 06:43

Some of our parental consultation sessions start at 1.30pm due to parental demand. We also run a fairly late night session. We also give at least two weeks notice of the online booking service "going live". Funnily enough, tjis still isn't enough for some folks who want to do it over Skype.

bumbleymummy · 14/10/2017 08:35

Sounds a bit strange! Hopefully they have some evening sessions available as well.

Am I the only one who thinks a Skype session may not be the worst way to do things? Blush Obviously it's best to be face to face but you may have to take a few hours off to attend if you have a lot of travelling to work whereas you could schedule a 30 min slot in work to take a Skype call. Or people may have younger children that they could have in bed at home while they Skype in for an evening PT meeting without having to arrange child care. I wonder will things move that way in the future.

Temporaryanonymity · 14/10/2017 08:39

Skype is a brilliant idea.

mygrandchildrenrock · 14/10/2017 08:41

The first meeting at my DD's secondary school was a daytime meeting. I was the only parent there who queried if all other meetings would be daytime. It really was assumed that every family would have a non working parent. Although my user name might imply that I am a certain age, that meeting was not many years ago!

highinthesky · 14/10/2017 08:46

Wtaf?

Ask to speak to her (m) boss Grin

KatharinaRosalie · 14/10/2017 09:04

I would ask the HM if this is really what she said (at least my DS does not always report things accurately). If she did I would certainly have words.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/10/2017 09:06

I'd ask for clarification of what the children were told as there seems to have been some confusion.

catgirl1976 · 14/10/2017 09:07

Why is Skype a bad idea? And two weeks is not sufficient notice.

It's beyond me why dates for parents evenings, nativity and other events can't be given at the start of each year like holiday dates so working parents can plan accordingly.

OP if that is really what the Head said than YANBU and need to raise this.

LandofTute · 14/10/2017 09:08

Hard to believe as the Head is a working woman herself. Also parents would normally be informed of parents eve in advance and there'd be an evening option. Doesn't ring true at all.

metalmum15 · 14/10/2017 09:13

He could just have got the message muddled up. Doesn't the school have a system where you pick the time? At Dds school there are 2 dates available and you choose your appointment time and book it online.

coddiwomple · 14/10/2017 09:13

Hard to believe as the Head is a working woman herself

exactly what I was going to write. I would check before getting annoyed

Littlecaf · 14/10/2017 09:19

Skype parents evening?

So a parent can't be bothered or doesn't prioritise their child's education enough to actually meet their teachers?

Take annual leave if you work. Pay for childcare if you have other children. I'm sorry but it's those sort of things you need to prioritise when you choose to have children.

noramum · 14/10/2017 09:20

My friends had this at their primary school. They also announce inset days with just 1-2 weeks notice. All because the head seems to think mums are to stay at home. In one case the dad went as a mid-week day is his day off and the head actually queried why he was there.

Our school announces dates at least at the beginning of the term so they go straight into the calendar and I book time off work if necessary. But I come to the conclusion our school is really a one-of with this.

Scabbersley · 14/10/2017 09:21

Skype parents evening is brilliant idea.

In 15 years of parents evening I can't think of one that wouldn't have worked just as well on Skype.

MrsJBaptiste · 14/10/2017 09:21

I imagine there will be a low turnout for that Parent's "Evening" Shock

Clutterbutter · 14/10/2017 09:22

Not all SAHM are sat with a Hobbob, watching daytime TV waiting for parents evening Hmm

whitehorsesdonotlie · 14/10/2017 09:25

How old is ds1? I'd hold on until you know the facts before you go in all guns blazing. He may have got his facts mixed up... I hope so, anyway.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 14/10/2017 09:25

Clutter I thought your post said ‘sat with a hobo watching TV’, I thought blimey are SAHMs taking in tramps now 😂

MajesticWhine · 14/10/2017 09:25

DDs was at 4.30 and I couldn't make it due to work and travel time. I was fuming that they don't start it after working hours but 1.30 is absolutely ridiculous.

MiraiDevant · 14/10/2017 09:26

How old is DS? If he is 6 he may well have only got half the message.

I would expect she said that parents' evenings would be at various times - 1pm and evening. Maybe some child piped up that his dad was at work and couldn't come in the day and she said "well can your Mum come in the day or can they both come in the evening?" and your DS got "Mums have to come in the daytime"

Check with the school. We always had both day and afternoon sessions. I went to either depending on schedule

Ca55andraMortmain · 14/10/2017 09:26

I would hate a Skype parents evening unless it was for a parent with a disability or other strong reason why they couldn't attend. Parents Eve at 1pm is ridiculous though - it's also during the school day so what are the children doing while their teacher is doing the consultations?

Grimbles · 14/10/2017 09:26

So a parent can't be bothered or doesn't prioritise their child's education enough to actually meet their teachers?

Take annual leave if you work. Pay for childcare if you have other children. I'm sorry but it's those sort of things you need to prioritise when you choose to have children.*

Hmm

I'm happy to take a/l but I'd need a bit more than a few hours notice. The OP was told yesterday about an appointment on Monday afternoon.

JennyBlueWren · 14/10/2017 09:28

How old is DS? How reliable a messenger? It seems odd that a parents "evening" would be arranged for 1pm at such short notice and for everyone and odder still that it would be arranged by a verbal message via a child.

It just doesn't seem likely to me. Maybe they're having a "drop in afternoon"? Still odd the HM would say it's for mothers specifically (unless it was just before mothers day -is it women's day?).

The headmistress will be aware of working mothers as potentially she and many of her staff will be working mothers!