To put all of yesterday's washing up on DH's car bonnet

[drfostersbra]

I cook, DH washes up. Well that's the agreement that we come to every few months after a huge row when I ask why he has decided not to wash up again.

If there's one thing that pushes my buttons, it's coming downstairs in the morning after cooking a lovely meal the night before and finding stinking dirty washing up.

I'm at home all day with our very mobile baby today and there's no side board space to prepare food and a bad smell that I have to sit with all day.

Bastard.
So would I be U to put it all in on his car bonnet so he will need to move it before he starts his day (as I will have to do)
It annoys me that it's always good for a few months then he leaves it for one night, I let it go, 2 nights I think 'oh he must be tired I'll do it', 3 nights hmm he's slacking. 4 nights arggggh!

Maybe don't cook.

Don’t cook tonight. Eat before he gets in.

I didn't cook last night and he did. Then I washed up straight after.

It's impractical to put it on his bonnet; it'll fall off and break, and scratch the paint

I would put it in a box and in his back seat. It's then out of your way, and will make his car smell the same as it'd make the kitchen smell.

This obviously depends on you having enough plates etc to be able to manage for at least another day ....

Can you get out to the shops to pick up ready to eat food for you? Sandwiches/drinks etc? For your lunch and dinner. Then just avoid the kitchen. Don't cook for him as you physically can't with the chaos in there.

So last night he cooked, and you washed up.... so how can there be a kitchen full of washing up!?

Get a dishwasher.

That's what I was wondering?

Sorry I meant Sunday night he cooked and I washed up.
The dishwasher would be the same he wouldn't loads it

Aaarrgghh OP I feel you pain. My DH does the same, so lazy! It takes a fraction of the time to wash up compared to cooking. Can you swap roles? I had terrible morning sickness & my DH knew it made me heave to come downstairs to that in the morning. Did it make any difference? Like fuck it did so selfish. It was literally the only job he had.

Yeah it's laughable how often he and I have this argument. At the end of the argument he promises to wash up if I cook Ibknow in going to cook only for me for four days.

"then he leaves it for one night, I let it go, 2 nights I think 'oh he must be tired I'll do it',"

Cut this out.

As the deal is, he washes up, every single time he leaves it, you don't cook the next day - or not for him.

When you ask why, tell him it's because the cooking/washing deal is broken for the umpteenth time and it's off.

He evidently knows he can get away with being a complete arse. I think you have to make a real stand here. Tell him it's unacceptable and that you'll be going to your mothers/friends/Macdonalds/etc for your food until he grows up.

I feel your pain, however during the whole day with a baby I would have had time to have done it and if he is out at work all day he obviously cannot do it. Can you get a dishwasher going forward? Otherwise take the washing up bowl out of your sink and put it outside to give yourself more room and if you find you have time later during the day to do it then I would do it. I have done that in the past when feeling similarly wronged (!). My husband tends to leave loads of his own stuff around the kitchen, i.e. Power tools etc and it drives me crazy. Also in the future maybe remind him of what was agreed so that you don't wake up to this in future. I know how annoying it is though, my dh is similar.

YANBU

I say do it - or some form of it. Without arguing. Lazy bastard

As for the idiotic people on this thread saying 'Get a dishwasher' yeah right - who is going to fill/run and empty the dishwasher?? Ah yes - perhaps it will be the OP again because she's married to a lazy bastard.

This is why whoever cooks also cleans. More than once I cook and clean pretty much as I go meaning all dh has to do is load the plates eaten off. If he cooks then every plate, pan, utensil is used and left on the bench covered in food. So now whoever cooks does the lot. Supposedly.

How long does it take to fill the dishwasher? Less time than has been probably spent on this thread

And you're home all day?

It doesn't take nearly as long to fill and empty the dishwasher as it does the wash and dry dishes, and it has the benefit of keeping the dishes out of sight until you are ready to put them away. You need to get in the habit of clearing up immediately after dinner, and doing it together. Or one person clears while the other holds the baby. You eat, then clean up straight away, then both sit down together. Once you have left it to sit, it's going to stay left.

Your home all day and are still not going to do it? Sorry I just couldn't live like that. It's very petty and not to mention dirty!
If you really feel like 'getting him back' then just cook your own dinner

She said she was home TODAY, not every day! Anyway, if that's their arrangement he should stick to it. It's not for us to decide how they split their jobs.

Do the washing up yourself, it's not that much of a big deal. He can empty the bins and clean the floor instead.

charlotte youre not your and No! when I'm at home I'm with our baby I'm not going to spend the day washing up last night's dinner, having cooked for him, after looking after his baby all day!!! Fgs
we agreed that he washed up if I cook. It's only fair that he does this.

Why can't you do the washing up if you're at home all day. If you don't want to then don't but don't complain if your DP doesn't do it. Doesn't sound like the relationship will last with this selfish and unreasonable attitudes.