To put all of yesterday's washing up on DH's car bonnet

[drfostersbra]

I cook, DH washes up. Well that's the agreement that we come to every few months after a huge row when I ask why he has decided not to wash up again.

If there's one thing that pushes my buttons, it's coming downstairs in the morning after cooking a lovely meal the night before and finding stinking dirty washing up.

I'm at home all day with our very mobile baby today and there's no side board space to prepare food and a bad smell that I have to sit with all day.

Bastard.
So would I be U to put it all in on his car bonnet so he will need to move it before he starts his day (as I will have to do)
It annoys me that it's always good for a few months then he leaves it for one night, I let it go, 2 nights I think 'oh he must be tired I'll do it', 3 nights hmm he's slacking. 4 nights arggggh!

[Nevertoomuch22]

Good luck with the divorce!!

[Joyy]

Coming home from work and not being able to settle until you've done washing up after dinner, what time is that 8pm? Trust me to do this every day takes it's toll just like being stuck in with a baby. You can't expect people to be perfect all the time and to humiliate him by putting it on his car bonnet? What the hell kind of partner does that make you! Does he need enemies? Maybe next time you slack off on something minor he should dump something on your bonnet see how you feel.

[Ropsleybunny]

Great result 💐

[drfostersbra]

All sorted.

Thanks for all your help.

He has been back on it and I actually think putting the washing up all over his studio space was a really effective non-verbal way of showing him what he is doing to me when he leaves the washing up for me to work around all day.

We're back on track and all is well and for the record pp who said he 'sounds lazy' as he works part time that is a whole other conversation, he looks after our DD when I'm working so that is hardly lazy is it!?

[Winniethepee]

The lazy twat is taking the piss.. Establish some ground rules luv.

[KnowsStuff]

Use joint account to pay for a RELIABLE cleaner 3 times a week
Dishes in the back of his car a good idea

[Mittens1969]

Couldn't be more right, Dextersilver.

[Dextersilver]

Pick, she really is long gone isn't she! Might be time to stop. It's pretty easy to start caring to much about posts on the internet. I actually have stuff to do!!

[PickAChew]

And she (the OP, who is long gone) admitted that her anger needed to be taken in hand.

[Dextersilver]

Mittens, she filled his study with the dishes, swore at him, shouted at him and shoved him. All I front of the kids. she is unhinged!

[Mittens1969]

I don't think she'd really have done it, she was venting out her frustration at his laziness, we've all done that.

I still think the answer is to buy a dishwasher, they're well worth the investment.

[chriswadley4]

Because marriage is a partnership, and problems open to discussion. Piling the washing on his car is passive aggressive nonsense. Asking if he'd like to swap jobs is the start of a dialogue. We've only really seen her side; he might be seething at the mess the kitchen is in and passive aggressively leaving it!

[HoneyBeeMum1]

Smarshian - Are you a wolf? Are you married to a wolf?

[Smarshian]

He agreed to doing washing up though. If he has an issue with it in general then why should she address that instead of him?
Essentially they have agreed how they will split their chores and he is not holding up his end of the bargain. It's selfish and unreasonable!

[chriswadley4]

To play devil's advocate, there are loads of books and TV shows about the recognised, creative hobby of cooking. Not so many on washing up. The person cooking can make as much mess as they like - in our household, I'm the dishwasher, and often complain "Could you have spilt that sauce anywhere else? Put the herbs back after you use them? Chuck the plastic in the recycling rather than behind the kettle, as both are the same distance away from you?" Plus, washing cannot start until cooking (and often eating) are over, so the evening meal washing drags on into the night, and for the person who has been out working here. Maybe he could cook, and you wash up after!

[Mittens1969]

No I think she was just really fed up, thinking why didn't he do it?? I can understand it, he does sound quite lazy as he only works part-time.

If he worked full-time and she was a SAHM obviously it would be different.

[whatdidImiss]

On the day in question, she was home all day though - or that's how I read it. But she wanted to leave the dishes to make a point?

[Mittens1969]

@madjakel, she doesn't stay at home all day, they both work part-time!!! How many times has this been repeated???

[madjakel]

im sorry , your home all day, yes you have a baby BUT come on... wash the bloody dishes, the baby must sleep. when I was home all day I never ever expected my husband to do anything but come home and spend quality time with the kids...I'm sorry i think your being unreasonable

[Mittens1969]

I think it was her saying that nappy changing was her job and her DH should never be expected to do it. I can't imagine how it could possibly be avoided? What if a little one pooped when he was on his own with them for a short period? It can't be completely avoided?

[Dextersilver]

The not changing nappies and no dishes is a bit much. I mean OH changes a nappy if it needs doing! But i get her other points.

[Dextersilver]

I wholeheartedly agree with honeybee well I can't see anything she has said thats hilarious. Please do point it out to me though i may have missed some of her posts.

[MumsGoneToIceland]

As pp said, if they weren't done by the time I went to bed, I would be reminding him it needs to be done before he comes to bed and making it clear you do not want to be coming down to them in the morning. Repeat every night until he gets it.

[keepcalmandfuckon]

Honeybee 😂😂😂😂*
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Honeybee wins the internet for today