Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

Yes, but the third group are her next victims so I wouldn't worry too much.

People work out people like her pretty quick op. Don't worry. The way she's been with you is the way she is with everyone. Everyone thinks she's a dick - nobody thinks you're a dick.

When i was at school i left my phone on the table and went out to get lunch. Came back and my BFF told me how my enemy was taking pictures on my phone. I went up to her and said 'is appreciate if in the future you didn't use my phone ' and walked off. She was so

Whoops just realised this post was from 2 months ago. Sorry

@LosSimpsones always nice to hear a new one

I've a neighbour a few houses away who's a crotchety, grumpy woman. She moans and grumbles about her neighbours not doing things for her because she's older. She'll loudly curse them in the street for not helping her with her shopping etc when funnily enough, in this street we all get along fine and are more than happy to give each other a hand, it's just that she's so nasty no one wants to go out of their way for her.
One evening she knocked on my door and asked me to take her down to the hospital like it was some emergency.
She was ranting that her friend wasn't getting back to her and how she was an awful person because she should be taking her. When I asked if the friend knew she needed to go she told me no because she wasn't picking up her phone. It also turned out that the friend didn't even drive. The friend is expected to ask her own friends for a lift to take my neighbour places!
So I took her, and waited for her to be examined (it was wind by the way!) and drive her back.
She let slip that she hadn't wanted to pay for a taxi. Hmm.. but she was happy for me to drag my DS out at night after bedtime to save her some cash!
I now have a list of pre-prepared excuses so I can say no without getting flustered 😂.

@HunterOfStars I can also see from your point of view as my dh once said his df gave his dais his mophead without asking him. Maybe your dbro just sat in the car waiting to be waited on as dm favourite

Dsis not dais