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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

858 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 24/09/2017 15:31

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day Confused I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery Hmm wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Groovee · 28/07/2018 14:16

Put cola in an engine 😱😱😱

LeighaJ · 28/07/2018 17:02

"However, he came back grumbling that the water was too expensive especially as there was some out of date cola on sale for 20p. He used that.
The engine blew up. Of course he refused any liability and wouldn't fork out a penny."

The expression "too stupid to live" springs to mind. Hmm Is he still alive? Grin

FleeBee · 28/07/2018 20:12

This is quite mild but I'm annoyed !
My DC & friend's child do a sport for 3 hours every Saturday 12:30 - 3:30pm
We have an arrangement that one of us drops off & other parents bring home.

Today other parent dropped off so I collected at 3:30pm got a text from parent to say we've popped to ASDA can you take our child home & we will collect from you.

  • Why couldn't they pop to supermarket while DC at sport
  • why do both parents have to go? One could pop to Supemarket & 1 stay to wait for child to be dropped off
  • You can see ASDA from their house so why can't they wait until I drop DC home & then go????!!!!

They picked their child up at 6:20pm pisstakers!!!!!

YouTheCat · 28/07/2018 20:14

They were in Asda for 3 hours! Bullshit!

If it's not inconvenient for you, I'd drop the arrangement.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 28/07/2018 20:18

Told this before but here goes.

A friend of my ex's used to come out with us on Friday's. He was never ready on time, but that's another story! I didn't drink so drove everyone home. He'd hop out of the car, thank my ex for the lifts (not me though!) and go inside.
One night I'd had enough, told him in no uncertain terms how rude he was, also how rude that he kept us waiting every week, how he never said thanks to me and he could walk home. Ex got shitty with me and said he'd drive him home, not a good idea as he'd been drinking. I drove him home that night and swore I'd never do it again.

Next week, the friend was on time (hurray). My ex asked if I was driving home, no way said I. Ex couldn't drink on a Friday night for 7 YEARS as if his friend was there I refused to drive, even though I still didn't drink (don't like it.) My only regret is that I hadn't put my foot down sooner. (Still snigger about those 7 happy years tho!)

Metoodear · 28/07/2018 20:24

When somone invited my child to their child’s birthday at a chessington

I then got the following txt the night before

Tye is so excited about tomorrow you live very close to Matty so I told his mum you will be down to pick him up at 9am Sharp

Don’t forget lunch and money for fast pass

i has to tell ds he couldn’t go didn’t speak to me for a week However not only could I not take him down to chessington I didn’t know Matty and we didn’t have the £100 to pay for entry lunch and fast pass

She really would of said before

Powerless · 28/07/2018 22:40

@Tunnocks34 You interrupted a WEDDING CEREMONY to get someone to move their car?!

LeighaJ · 28/07/2018 22:52

Where is the next thread to the CFN Garden Thieves???????

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2991707-CFN-vanished-Spanish-grandma-patio-doors-I-dont-know-what-the-hell-to-call-this-thread-5?pg=40&order=#prettyPhoto

There wasn't a link on that one and I need to read the next chapter. Grin

MilkybarGrownup · 28/07/2018 23:06

@LeighaJ sadly the conclusion was the collapse of a party wall thanks to the rogue builders work in CFNDN's house and Whatty had to move out due to it being condemned. After that, I've no idea. I've no further updates.

LeighaJ · 29/07/2018 00:43

Oh jeez that's awful. Cheeky Fuckery should be a prosecutable offence.

heronsinflight · 29/07/2018 10:25

Someone I knew slightly from my sports club once got hold of my phone number, I have no idea how, and rang me up to ask if he could use my bank details to gamble with, because the bookies wouldn't accept bets from his own account any more. In return for this I was welcome to follow his own tips and place bets myself.

Shortly after this, he was busted for fixing horse races and banned from every course in the country.

TorviBrightspear · 29/07/2018 13:00

Powerless. I would interrupt, too. Would you expect them to miss a paid for ferry?

undercovernamechange · 29/07/2018 13:41

Got another one!

During my student days I started making websites at weekends or holidays for extra income.

A friend's husband, from this point CFFH, decided to start his own business and asked me to build his website. He asked for a friends and family rate, which I agreed to in exchange for a good reference. But it was clear from the start money was expected.

Once work was started CFFH wanted more content added onto his website, about double the original work, but needed it delivered by the same date. So I basically had to cancel my plans and use all free time to work on the website. He pleaded poverty until I agreed to keep the original price and reference. Work done, but he couldn't pay me on the agreed date because of god knows what.

Chased him for payment and the bloody reference over the course of the next two months, but there were always excuses as to why he couldn't pay. Next thing CFFH and his wife have a swanky car each. When i confronted my then friend about this and the lack of payment, she gave the excuse that the cars were on a business lease paid by some start-up loan, and she would get her husband to pay me.

Six months later still no payment, but CFFH wanted more content added to his website. I said it would only be done once original payment and reference were done, and would need 50% of the new work in advance. He refused to pay, arguing that he had never agreed to pay me, and should be grateful he had let me do his website because i could use it as "work exprience". But since he was feeling generous he would be able to offer me a temporary job in his new office during the summer holidays as a trainee Angry Told him where he could stick his stupid job, car and website. Friend and I ended up NC after that because she took her husband's side on me supposedly doing a huge website for them for free and how I should be grateful for the opportunity they'd given me, even though she knew fine well it wasn't the case because she'd been present when we spoke about the price and references.

Turns out they were CF with a few other friends of theirs that also did some work for them, to either never get paid or basically get exploited when they took a job working for them.

Mimosa1 · 29/07/2018 14:45

T f m.

TorviBrightspear · 29/07/2018 15:23

undercovernamechange make sure that every bit of work you do in future, you get a signature for, before even starting. Get people to sign something listing exactly what work is involved, and for what cost, any other things gsime deadlines. I learned that the hard way, I get things down in writing even for mates.

undercovernamechange · 29/07/2018 16:50

TorviBrightspear Learned my lesson quickly after the CFFH!

Forgot to add that a few years later they sold their business and moved overseas. Apparently the business was struggling but no-one knew. The CF cooked the books and charged the new unsuspecting owners an absolute fortune for it. Poor new owners ended up bankrupt.

TorviBrightspear · 29/07/2018 19:08

Ouch! Feel sorry for the unsuspecting new owners.

StealthPolarBear · 29/07/2018 19:25

Yes I woukd have done too. I wouldn't have stormed in and announced it over the ceremony but I'd have been asking questions of the people at the back.

BeeNicer · 29/07/2018 19:26

Returned home this week after a much deserved holiday after a stressful year to find that our CF NDN had chopped down his tree which due to his ineptitude had taken down a 10 x 6ft part of our hedge, destroyed our new bird feeder AND he had let himself into our garden despite 2 locked gates. DH went straight round there, CF was worried we would sue him and very sheepish. DH told him we would not do that. I WOULD HAVE SUED HIS ARSE OFF! So many birds are homeless due to this idiot. Steaming angry about this, although this is a minor incident compared to some of your tales. F*ing tosser.Angry

StealthPolarBear · 29/07/2018 19:26

"He asks DH if he wants to buy some tickets for a comedian as they can’t go now. I say yes as long as it’s not this one comedian I can’t stand. It is this comedian of course.

CF then asks if we can just buy them anyway and not go? Wtf"
Pure CFery!

Justinonmybroomstick · 29/07/2018 20:23

Returned home this week after a much deserved holiday after a stressful year to find that our CF NDN had chopped down his tree which due to his ineptitude had taken down a 10 x 6ft part of our hedge, destroyed our new bird feeder AND he had let himself into our garden despite 2 locked gates. DH went straight round there, CF was worried we would sue him and very sheepish. DH told him we would not do that. I WOULD HAVE SUED HIS ARSE OFF! So many birds are homeless due to this idiot. Steaming angry about this, although this is a minor incident compared to some of your tales. F*ing tosser.angry

Why is this considered cheeky?

It was an accident.

Hortonlovesahoo · 29/07/2018 20:30

This one happened to a friend of mine recently. She’s an expat and doesn’t work (visa issue), so she has a fair bit of time and is very “crafty”. She loves knitting/sewing/painting and is very good at it. An acquaintance at a group we’re both at asked for some gifts to be made for a party they were hosting and was very particular about the designs/ how they should look etc.

Friend spent a lot of time on it and in the end the pieces provided were perfect. Cheeky acquaintance tried to get away without paying for it and then tried to haggle about “cost of materials” for the entire job as she was using the end pictures on her Instagram page and therefore was free publicity :/

Luckily friend was very stern with the lady and finally got the money owed.

Lindah1 · 29/07/2018 20:45

Didn't happen to me but a workmate of a friend. Big group of girls going away to a cottage for a weekend, some who knew each other some who didnt. One girl is a celiac so she buys her own gf food and politely explains the situation to everyone else, saying " this shelf is my special stuff if you wouldn't mind not using it". All fine. All others had bought their own food. Cottage in a really rural area so no shops nearby. Gf lady goes out for a bit with some of the others, comes back to find her stash being fried up and eaten! When tackled..
....The reply was....what's your problem.....food is food!!!

BeeNicer · 29/07/2018 21:04

Justinonmybroomstick - not an accident - he clearly waited until we were away AND then trespassed on our property, getting through 2 locked gates. Too tight to pay for a qualified tree surgeon to do the job properly! One of the reasons we put the lock on the gates is because we have a dog and occasionally look after a friend's former rescue dog who may possibly be aggressive to strangers. Methinks you are his guilty wife!

MapMyMum · 30/07/2018 00:31

I've read this whole thread saying cf in my head as cuty fcker, suits most of them quite nicely!