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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

858 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 24/09/2017 15:31

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day Confused I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery Hmm wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
GemmaCollinsBabes · 24/09/2017 17:26

Neighbour in adjoining terrace where we used to live asked if they could convert our attic to make an extra room for their daughter.
They were most put out when we told them we had already converted it and the subsequent rooms were where our eldest two DC slept.
Apparently we "needed to come to some sort of agreement." Grin Shock

Spadequeen · 24/09/2017 17:34

Would also like to know about the door to the garden, was thinking about that earlier.

Re the sandwiches, can you not get to hem earlier? Either sit closer to where they come out or ask the staff to put them in a different place.

McBinkers · 24/09/2017 17:34

Gemma that is making me roar laughing Grin

Likeawolf · 24/09/2017 17:40

Gemma Shock Grin

gabsdot · 24/09/2017 17:41

Once a month we have a pot lunch after church. Anyone who stays is supposed to bring enough food for their family and a bit to share.
Usually about half the people there haven't brought any food at all. Today the lady opposite me was raving about the yummy food and suggested that next month people give out recipes. She hadn't brought anything for her family of 4.
I was particularly irritated about it today as I had to jump the queue to get some of the dinner I'd bought before it was all gone.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood · 24/09/2017 17:42

Used to go for coffee a few times a week with exf (ex friend), she always pleaded poverty, quoting how little she had in her bank account, I paid every time, sandwich, coffee, cake at our fav not so cheap cafe in town. .
One day she turned up in a Mercedes convertible she had paid cash for!!
Sometimes feel I have part ownership of that car!!

Sayyouwill · 24/09/2017 17:44

Old woman on the bus with bags on the seat beside her. I told her to move them so I could sit down and she did. BUT THEN she put them on my lap and told me to hold them for her as she didn't want them on the floor.

They ended up on the floor.

paxillin · 24/09/2017 18:01

A housemate of mine impressed her date with my knickers, boak!

Shakey15000 · 24/09/2017 18:09

Trueheart1 Thanks! Ah, pleased for the OP. Costly cheeky fuckery Grin

dentydown · 24/09/2017 18:24

My mum was selling her old motorbike before she got married (in the 70s). Her mother said to her that her uncle was interested in it. So my mum took the card out of he news agents window and her uncle picked it up. When my mum mentioned ten pounds (the card in the window said 20) she got "he's family, you can't expect him to pay for it!" And he got a free motorbike!

CallaLilli · 24/09/2017 18:27

I had a thread about this before, but I used to work with a totally cheeky fucker who would order people around the office to do her bidding like she was royalty. One day I mentioned I was going to a European capital for a long weekend and she immediately announced that she'd be giving me a shopping list of skincare products she wanted. She then proceeded to send me photos of the products - all 1 litre sizes! She didn't speak to me for weeks after I said no to that...

Piffpaffpoff · 24/09/2017 18:40

Years and years ago, a senior colleague who earned about 4x what I did used to borrow my Q Mag and photocopy then take home any articles he wanted to read.

expatinscotland · 24/09/2017 18:48

I remember her, Calla. Hope others started to stand up to that CF.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 24/09/2017 18:54

There's a guy who goes to my church who is cheeky fucker personified.
Asked if he might put a "few leftovers" in our camping fridge on a church holiday (we're not going on one of those again) and we get back after a trip out to find our fridge now has a massive crock pot put in it, taking up all the space.
He got married and basically just assumed the whole church would do the wedding without him having to spend any money. Now, people do like to help out, but this was extreme.
My mum wasn't asked to play the piano for the service, it was just assumed she would. She found out via someone else. I have no idea why she agreed, she wasn't even invited! The rehearsal started at 6pm and didn't finish till past 11pm. No food was offered to anyone there.
I was put down to do a job during the reception, again I found out 2nd hand. I said no, a lot of others didn't.
My punishment for refusing was to be sat next to a rather unpleasant guest, my boyfriend (now DH) and I were expected to babysit this person.
The reception apparently went on quite late, with all the unlucky helpers staying till the evening to clear up. I didn't see this, DH and I bailed out early as we'd been sat next to the open fire exit and were freezing.
My mum's thanks for her playing and hard work - none. Instead the groom approached her and said "Why did you sign your gift from X family, I know another X family and we got confused."
His wife made a good friend of mine cry. The day before the wedding, said friend of mine was making soup for the wedding, enough for 200 people. She tasted the soup and the first thing she said was "Oh no, you've made it too herby!"
My friend had spent hours making the bloody soup. It wasn't too herby, it was really nice.
I know there were other things, they went round trying to guilt trip people into doing things for them. It was sad to watch.
The service itself was 90 minutes long. Oh was I bored after half an hour!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 24/09/2017 18:59

Spadequeen to be honest I don't see it as something we are doing wrong or something we need to change our behaviour for. I'm not going to race to a slightly crap buffet just because some weirdos like to pick at the sandwiches. I'd rather just have my tea before I come out. They always hover before the sandwiches come out, like a big pack of grotty sandwich obsessed vultures. At the end of the day (ugh, sorry) they're just butties so I'm not going to get into an altercation with anyone - I like going to the quiz and I wouldn't want to landlord to side with the golden oldies and find myself out on my arse. I just reserve my right to moan about them as I think they're bloody rude for doing it.

Sodaface · 24/09/2017 19:00

I stupidly became a member of the PTA last year. Chairwoman was a right stuck up cow. We were holding a fun raising tea & everyone was asked to bake buns, I was working FT Shifts around 60hrs per week so bought a few from the local Spar. She spied them & said "oh my, who brought those hideous looking council estate buns". I looked her straight in the eye & said "me".

The CF said "emm thought so"

Original poster
TellMeItsNotTrue · 24/09/2017 19:02

I've read all of the CF threads in classics (and not in classics)

I just can't get over how they can do it, I wouldn't have the nerve to be the tiniest bit CF! I don't generally let people like that get away with it, too many people do and that's how they end up so entitled!

Calla I remember following that, wasn't she actually going to the same place after you too but she didn't want to carry the extra luggage?

OP posts:
SamanthaBrique · 24/09/2017 19:06

I work with a cheeky fucker who is always the first to help himself whenever anyone brings in treats for the office but never shares anything he buys. He also has form for nicking sandwiches or biscuits that are left over after meetings, regardless of whether he's hungry or not.

He also complains that the facilities department keeps the custard creams under lock and key and was not happy when I pointed out that seeing as they're only about 50p s packet, he should loosen the purse strings and buy some himself!

He is on a good salary, has no dependants and owns his flat outright so god knows why he's so tight-fisted.

CallaLilli · 24/09/2017 19:07

Yes, that's right Tell! She didn't want any extra luggage but apparently it was ok for me to have to manage my bags, a toddler in a stroller and all the stuff she wanted!!

LakieLady · 24/09/2017 19:18

We have a CF manager who helps herself to our biscuits when she's in our office. We think she's got some sort of food issue, because she's like a bloody vulture when there's food at meetings etc. She doesn't seem to realise that staff buy them out of their own money. Thankfully, she's based on the other side of the county, so she's only in once or twice a week.

When she opens the tin and finds it empty, she sounds very miffed and says "Oh, there aren't any biscuits" as though someone's stolen her personal stash.

So far, my suggestion of setting a mouse trap in the empty tin has been rejected as a bit extreme.

Spadequeen · 24/09/2017 19:43

ShowMePotatoSalad I never said you were doing anything wrong, I merely made a suggestion that would mean that you might be able to have a sandwich but if you're not bothered by it then no problem.

RedForFilth · 24/09/2017 19:57

LakieLady please do it. And record it and upload it here!

I've found cheeky fuckers are the way they are because people don't challenge them enough usually. Obviously some of them carry on regardless even if they have been challenged but most people don't say anything. Luckily I haven't really encountered any because I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut!

ImTakingTheEssence · 24/09/2017 20:05

Sitting at a kids party mum came over who i barely knew sat down started talking. She then said she had to pop out and would i watch her child i said ok and off she went. Turns out it was 3 kids i was supposed to be watching and she came back when the party was over asking how each child was.

Battlescar · 24/09/2017 20:18

My DSister asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was over the moon. Three days later she had a treadmill delivered to my house to help me lose weight for her wedding...I was a size 12 and had a six pack!!!! (I'm
a pear shape, skinny top half, size 12 arse & thighs). Years later I'm still shocked. She didn't want me to have to look back on her wedding photos in years to come lamenting at how (fat) I looked. I love her to death but to her anything over a size 8 is obese Angry

rjay123 · 24/09/2017 20:28

Family member shared my Netflix account. Not a problem with that. He then shared it with his girlfriend - slightly annoyed but fine.

She then cheated on him, so he dumped her. I changed the Netflix password. A few hours later I get a FB message bitching about it, saying I had no right to not give her the new password.