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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

818 replies

mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:12

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

OP posts:
Softkittysillykitty · 23/09/2017 22:14

I would tread very carefully OP. How do you know they gave a fraudulent address?

Aderyn17 · 23/09/2017 22:16

I think you should myob until it becomes your business, if your dc didn't get a place.
They are doing what they think is best for their child.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:16

^They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after.^

We don't live within catchment for DSs school. All the faith based schools surrounding us were oversubscribed and the school with the space available at the time happened to be his current one. We are there perfectly legally, used address we're at and perfectly correctly, we'd been on the waiting list for other schools for two years.

I'd make sure I got all my facts before upsetting that applecart if I'm honest.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/09/2017 22:16

I'd turn a blind eye and deaf ear, tbh.
I can guarantee. They're not the first nor last to lie in order to get their kids into the school of their choice.

How do you so much about these people.

Aderyn17 · 23/09/2017 22:17

Yes, they may have rented within catchment.

BabyAlexander · 23/09/2017 22:17

⬆️ This

I live 5 miles out of catchment for the school my DS has started. No false address here, all above board, just hoped and prayed, and got lucky.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 23/09/2017 22:17

Child might be adopted. Ex-LAC go first on (I think) all local authorities.

Mulch · 23/09/2017 22:19

I think you should mind your own

frogsoup · 23/09/2017 22:20

There is another local child who will have missed out on a place as a result. It isn't a victimless fraud. I'm not sure I'd have the nerve to report, but I think morally it is absolutely the right thing to do. If they are in fact legit, there'll be no issue, right?

MrGrumpy01 · 23/09/2017 22:22

As much as it may rile I do you think you need to turn a blind eye. There is also no way of saying that they didn't get a place on other criteria which you are not privy to.

PandorasXbox · 23/09/2017 22:22

Could the child be adopted?

sukitea · 23/09/2017 22:22

Even if you establish hard facts if the child has been admitted and started school I highly doubt they will expel the child. I can't imagine that there would even be much of a 'backlash'. Why do you think they would have a breakdown if they were found out?

It is really crappy when you live within the catchment area but don't get in only to find out that a family living 13 miles away got in . I'm obviously not resentful or bitter Hmm

Caketroubles · 23/09/2017 22:23

Like a pp said, it is not a victimless fraud. Report them.

vichill · 23/09/2017 22:24

You sound nice. Kid could be asked to leave if they had obtained a place fraudulently. Will you be standing at the gates with popcorn as he/she says goodbye to their new friends for the last time?

Ttbb · 23/09/2017 22:24

Dear god, why do you all take some moral high ground over here? It's a state service, one is not more or less deserving because one lives on a certain street! The reason why peoplegame the system is because the system is shite. The disparity is quality is abhorrent and the methods for determining place allocation arbitrary.

tiggytape · 23/09/2017 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ivy79 · 23/09/2017 22:27

@mnbvcx445566

I may be naive and it's been awhile since mine were at school. However, when we put the names down in the local school for our kids, we had 2 home visits from school staff, (one was unexpected,) and also had to prove our address, and prove we were registered at the local doctors. It was a very sought after school, and they took no chances.

So I would imagine the school in question (in your post,) have done similar checks.

You could do as @frogsoup said though and report anyway. If they are genuine, they have nothing to fear.

I have known people move into an area to get their kids into a good school, but have only ever known someone blatantly lie once. The child had to leave the school, 6 months in, and go their own local school. The school didn't take pity on the child OR the parents, and made the child leave.

If you are going to report it, do it soon before the child properly settles in.

TheNoodlesIncident · 23/09/2017 22:29

Oversubscription criteria will prioritise Looked After children - adopted, fostered, in care, etc - and also children with medical problems, before they look at the distance children live from school. You don't know whether any of those apply, so you should not say anything at all.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2017 22:29

You do realise some children are accepted at schools outside of their catchment area, because certain schools cater better for their needs than others do?

'Inside/outside catchment' is not the be all and end all when school places are allocated.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:30

Like a pp said, it is not a victimless fraud. Report them.

If it's all above board it most certainly is. No fraud has taken place. Confused

FenceSitter01 · 23/09/2017 22:30

. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.

Thinking and knowing are two very different things.

Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know

Like they might have moved house? They may have rented? They may have split up at one point and one moved closer to the school before reconciling?

What is it with report report report? Exactly how does this childs school place affect you?

traviata · 23/09/2017 22:30

If they have the place legitimately, then any checks will confirm this and nothing will change.

If they lied to get a place, another child has missed out because of their deceit. Where will that other child be going?

Original poster
mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:32

Please keep talking to me. I need to get this clear in my mind.

We are talking real middle of the centre of major city. I won't give the right info but let's say it's somewhat more than 3 miles apart (school and home).
I looked at the map of the catchment area. I am serious: there are 20 horizontal streets and 5 vertical street. If you walked the horizontal roads it would take 20 minutes at the most to walk from one side to the other of the catchment area. This is a really sought after school, no way they had to go 3 miles away from it to find people to fill up spaces.

My child is sorted. I am not getting all upset because she did it and I could not. But if the rules are the rules why can I look away from this and not from someone stealing at the supermarket? I am genuinely asking because I do not know what's right and what's wrong here.

OP posts:
WyfOfBathe · 23/09/2017 22:33

If you knew they had used a fraudulent address, I would report them, but you don't know that they did. They could have got lucky on distance this year, or the DC could be adopted/in care or have SEN/health problems.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:33

one person lying about their address directly deprives someone who genuinely lives nearby of a local school place

Not necessarily. Depends on the admissions criteria. Here, if you're first on the list you're next in, whether you live next door to the school or four miles out.