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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

818 replies

mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:12

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 23/09/2017 22:33

I know someone who applied for a school place using the grandparents address. They got the place but someone reported them. They got. A letter saying they had to provide evidence that they lived there. They didn't have any as they hadn't taken it that far. Their place was withdrawn. It was an oversubscribed school so another child who lived in the village got the place.

MammaTJ · 23/09/2017 22:33

As someone who is not happy with the choice of 'local' schools, I am seriously considering moving my DD to her GPs, to enable her to access a decent education.

I would be furious if you did this to me, if I made that massive sacrifice!

Maybe this is what they have done!

frogsoup · 23/09/2017 22:34

Ttbb 'one is not more or less deserving because one lives on a certain street!'

What, so it's ok for my child to have to go to a random school 3 miles away instead of the one just down the road, because somebody fraudulently took the place my child should have been given? Kids should be able to walk to their local school and live near their friends, not be shipped right across town. The system isn't perfect but that's its main rationale, and it's a perfectly reasonable one for primary school.

longestlurkerever · 23/09/2017 22:34

I'm surprised by the replies tbh. I'm not sure I'd care enough to report but mumsnet is normally so hot on dishonesty its almost absurd, but somehow has a blind spot here. It's interesting.

Ivy79 · 23/09/2017 22:34

Similar principles apply where a faith school gives high priority to worshipers or the children of staff members (which is now allowed).

This. ^

A nurse at the doctor's surgery got her daughter into my kids school, even though the family lived 13 miles away, because the doctors surgery was 200 yards from the school. It was wholly more convenient for the nurse, but a pain for the little girl, because unlike the rest of the kids whose mates lived within a mile of the school, she couldn't socialise and 'play' with them out of school time, because of the 26 mile round trip involved.

However OP, you say 'I think they have used a different address etc..' How do you know? Reading your original post a bit more, even though you say you're not jealous or bitter, you do actually sound it, a bit.

Rachie1973 · 23/09/2017 22:35

My kids went to an over subscribed out of catchment school.

My stepson had been taken there because he had additional needs, and they had a great senco dept.

When I married my husband a few years later they allowed my 4 in as well, creating a space for my eldest.

Sometimes things aren't as they seem, and you should butt out.

People are cross referenced with the electoral role here.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2017 22:35

I looked at the map of the catchment area. I am serious: there are 20 horizontal streets and 5 vertical street. If you walked the horizontal roads it would take 20 minutes at the most to walk from one side to the other of the catchment area.

Have you thought of taking up dog walking or some sort of voluntary work?

You really have far too much time on your hands.

frogsoup · 23/09/2017 22:36

Mammatj no school is important enough to justify making a child live apart from their parents. That is lunacy!

Ivy79 · 23/09/2017 22:36

@frogsoup

What, so it's ok for my child to have to go to a random school 3 miles away instead of the one just down the road, because somebody fraudulently took the place my child should have been given? Kids should be able to walk to their local school and live near their friends, not be shipped right across town. The system isn't perfect but that's its main rationale, and it's a perfectly reasonable one for primary school.

Good point.

FenceSitter01 · 23/09/2017 22:36

But if the rules are the rules why can I look away from this and not from someone stealing at the supermarket? I am genuinely asking because I do not know what's right and what's wrong here.

Do you really not understand what is legislation (ie theft) and what's a council diktat?

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:36

If you walked the horizontal roads it would take 20 minutes at the most to walk from one side to the other of the catchment area. This is a really sought after school, no way they had to go 3 miles away from it to find people to fill up spaces.

Quite common where we live for parents to do a 30-40minute walk for the school run. All with perfectly legitimately acquired school places. Confused

WyfOfBathe · 23/09/2017 22:36

I am seriously considering moving my DD to her GPs, to enable her to access a decent education.

I would be furious if you did this to me, if I made that massive sacrifice!

If you genuinely moved your DD to her GPs, that wouldn't be fraudulent so there would be nothing to report. If you only had her stay there for a few weeks or said she was living there when she wasn't, that's fraud.

longestlurkerever · 23/09/2017 22:37

But the point is if it's not fraud a quick check will verify that. So what's the outrage in reporting a suspicion?

Rachie1973 · 23/09/2017 22:37

Oh and highly sought after doesn't necessarily equate with over subscribed.

It could be a low birth rate year, could be an extra teacher, could be an extension to the building planned.

CotswoldStrife · 23/09/2017 22:37

Is your child at the same school as this child, OP? I suspect not, so what makes you think that they live a distance away?

RainbowPastel · 23/09/2017 22:38

Yes report them. If they have done nothing wrong then nothing will happen.

We lost out on a place due to fraud. It cost us financially and made my Dd's first year difficult.

tiggytape · 23/09/2017 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:39

because somebody fraudulently took the place my child should have been given?

Have we 100% established it's been obtained fraudulently?...

FenceSitter01 · 23/09/2017 22:39

Op, if you really feel the need to correct all the ills in the world, may I respectfully suggest you get a camera and clip board and stand in front of the Parent & Child parking spaces and report anyone with the temerity to park there without a child. That should set you up nicely for a week or two of community small minded spirit

Shittyshopping · 23/09/2017 22:39

Maybe there is a reason they got the school.
A medical/ social reason. Special needs. Maybe they have proof of moving closer to the school in the near future.

ReanimatedSGB · 23/09/2017 22:39

Mind your own business. You are not in possession of the facts, so there is a good chance that you will cause some innocent people distress just because you are officious, nosy and have too much time on your hands.

QueenUnicorn · 23/09/2017 22:39

Checks will have already been done, let them be.
Child might be adopted or have been in care or they might have got in on appeal for a significant reason.
Appeals have been upheld on medical grounds and for reasons such as severe bullying in other schools.
You don't know what's going on and shouldn't always assume the worst.

Gemini69 · 23/09/2017 22:40

If you believe they lied on the application .. then report it and let the investigate it... your reasons for doing this are irrelevant..

it's really that simple Flowers

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:41

tiggytape I'm in England, ICSs only apply from reception to Yr 2.

Fruitbat1980 · 23/09/2017 22:41

YAbu. Get facts first. Could be ex- care, or could be SEN. Both would be prioritised.

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