to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

[mnbvcx445566]

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

You know if this country was a fascist regime, I know which posters would be informants for the secret police - and that's not even a joke.

I would say report it. If they've done nothing wrong they have nothing to hide and there will be no adverse consequences for them. If they have done something wrong it should be addressed. The system may be shit but allowing this to happen doesn't make it better.

Ivy. Perhaphs you need to spend some time actually reading the bible. I believe there are a few bits in there about forgiveness & tolerance.

What's it to you if people want to get married in their local church?

People can be religious without going to church. People who aren't religious can get married in a church if they want to.

Live and let live.

There was a very good reason DS1 went to a the school he did (though not in the catchment area) - very confidential reason and all above board. Some busy body made (very wrong) assumptions - no effect on me - but I hope she still feels some remorse and learnt a lesson (though I doubt it!)

Fair enough, I will be quiet as I do not know all the facts, and I do not want to ask the questions directly to the family.
Thank you.

You know if this country was a fascist regime, I know which posters would be informants for the secret police - and that's not even a joke.

Well if you are going to be silly about it a quick google finds these stories:-

www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114287592

It is called "The bystander effect". 20 people watched a 15 year old girl being gang raped and not one stopped to help or call the authorities.

We all have our own view on where the moral line between "live and let live" and "people are being hurt here - I can't just stand by and let it happen" lies.

Comparing people who would report this school fraud to those who inform to the secret police is like saying that you are someone who would happen ignore, watch, film or join in with the rape of a child.vjust a bit silly really.

Why are so many people on here caught up in other people's bussiness. Don't they have enough in their own lives not to get their knickers in a twist about other people's!

^Fair enough, I will be quiet as I do not know all the facts, and I do not want to ask the questions directly to the family.
Thank you.^

What questions would you ask them? Given by your own admission, you're not exactly 'pally' with them.

My son didnt get into our closest school despite us living well within the 100m cut off, the year we applied they even had some siblings who couldn't be offered places. The fact that the school has an enormous parking issue tells me some people have possibly lied/fiddled it somehow. Do I care? Not really, he goes to the next nearest school which is actually better but everyone locally seems to think the other school is particularly amazing, seemingly based on just the fact its hard to get into.

No. Equating a possibly fraudulent obtained school place with rape IS silly.

Lots of people commit this fraud. I know several. Its annoying and frustrating. Especially when they pay themselves on the back laughing how clever they are. However, I see it as no different to the parents who pretend to be religious to get into a school. At our nursery they would refer to it as ‘playing the game’ and laugh about it together. We lost a place at a very close school because of the fake Christians. Was very fucking annoying. I think both those methods are as bad as each other. I also think faith schools should be open to everyone though so I’m probably not a good person to ask.

I would report OP. However the child may well be looked after or adopted, so qualify for the place. Or they may have an ECHP and it is a named school.

If they haven’t done anything wrong they won’t get in trouble. Often schools know parents are lying but can’t prove it. I don’t think they treat the kid differently but should imagine they view the parents with contempt.

The fact that the school has an enormous parking issue tells me some people have possibly lied/fiddled it somehow

Or maybe it's grown in popularity? Everyone is now fighting to get their child into a Good school around here now, it was only a few years ago the same school was in special measures.

Mumoftwoyoungkids

This situation is in no way similar to gang rape. I don't even think the bystander effect has anything to do with this situation.

Sometimes in this world their are laws and systems that just don't work or are pointless, I'm not going to waste my time reporting people for them. In previous fascist regimes, listening to a certain type of music was against the law - some posters on this forum are so eager to follow the law to the T and reporting other people for not doing so, that you could easily see them reporting a neighbour for listening to "immoral" music.

By the way I've reported people for crimes before, actual crimes.

What would the OP like the end result to be in this situation?

Report
MN tends to sympathise with mc fraud, rather than wc crimes

The child would not lose their place unless their parents have lied and robbed another child of their own place

Also, I think if you have been in the position of being turned down from for a school and you know some people cheated, it can become huge in your mind. And whilst at another time this fraudulent application would irk you, when you are still stinging from the school allocation process, it can take much more energy and emotions than it should.

I wasn’t told about a mutual friend who faked place of residence during the time we didn’t get our place as my friends thought I would have reported them.

I would have, but mainly because the husband is such a arrogant, self-important, belittling arsehole.

I would not want an 'end result of my choosing', I did not know whether this was important enough to be reported.

Some schools do more checks than others. Ours is stringent in their checks. They know which houses are rentals and these addresses in particular are checked very thoroughly

Report

If it is all perfectly legit then no one loses, they send their proof and the kid keeps his place. If it isnt then the kids on the waiting list who should have been offered a place will get one and the parents will learn a hard lesson about cheating the system.

Sounds like they have made use of their rental house to get the place. I would mention that in your report. Contact the LEA for details of how to do it.

I always think that the innocent have nothing to fear so why not report fraud? It wouldnt bother me if someone reported me as I havent broken the law and can prove it.

I don’t know why you are getting such a hard time OP. All the comments about you being a grass or having to live with yourself for being a dobber.

It is bizarre!

Here's what happens, I used to do this for a living.

Report of possible fraudulent application comes in.

I check which admission rule child was admitted under.

If SEN, LAC etc rules apply, no case to answer.

If child has been admitted on sibling rule, usually ditto (though we had two cousins passed off as siblings once).

If admitted on distance; then I contact family and ask for whatever proof we accept.

If they send it: brilliant. No problem.

If they can't, we give them more time, other options etc. If they still can't prove it or we can prove they've been lying, the place gets taken away and they get allocated the nearest available space instead.

If your friends have done nothing wrong, they've got nothing to worry about.

Mind your own business, frankly you have no idea and no basis no raise your complaint, it’s a completely unfounded complaint!

everythingsucks

Not bizarre at all

As a PP said, its a middle class crime perpetrated by naice people who just want the best for their kids, which makes it FINE and not real fraud at all. And those of us who accept that while the system isnt perfect, its the best we have and play by the rules are simply facists

Can I be the first to call Godwin's Law?

I think that this countts.....

Sometimes in this world their are laws and systems that just don't work or are pointless, I'm not going to waste my time reporting people for them. In previous fascist regimes, listening to a certain type of music was against the law - some posters on this forum are so eager to follow the law to the T and reporting other people for not doing so, that you could easily see them reporting a neighbour for listening to "immoral" music.

This sort of thing would irritate me, too, OP. Not because I want to get someone into trouble, but, I know I abide by the rules and when I perceive that someone else doesn't and then is advantaged by their rule breaking it makes me a bit p*ssed off. (like parking in a parent/child space without a child! ;-D )

Key thing above is "perceive". Sometimes it is simply that - your perception and not the reality.

If you do report them, be prepared that you will not be told the outcome as it really is none of your business. You are simply the informer.

If you know the child who has been refused a place as this person has priority then I could understand you reporting them.

What is the real reason?

Honestly, it reads like you are upset that this other woman has achieved what she wanted for her child and your are not happy about this and want to destroy it.

Don't spend time with this other mum as it is clearly affecting you. ATB