Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

818 replies

mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:12

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

OP posts:
ihatemotd · 24/09/2017 00:07

i committed fraud to get my dc into the school of choice.
It is 11 miles away from our home, but 2 minutes away from my paremts home, who mind my kids whilst we are at work.
if we sent them to the local primary school, there is no way on earth our childcare arrangements could work.
this could be why your friends have lied op
i would mmob if i were you op

user1487194234 · 24/09/2017 00:09

Haven't RTFT Disclaimer But if it's not affecting my kids I don't care
If it's stopping them getting into best local school I am complaining to everyone I can

cherish123 · 24/09/2017 00:10

Stay out of it. It is none of your business. It would be difficult for the child if they had to move suddenly for such reasons.

WorraLiberty · 24/09/2017 00:11

I apologise if I sounded whatever with the 'keep talking to me'. I mean it. I have no one else to talk to

I'm honestly not being PA or 'funny' in any way at all, but do you really have no-one in your real life to talk to apart from your husband, who you say doesn't have an opinion on this?

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2017 00:13

Ihate

And why do your childcare arrangements trump the needs of a child who lives within walking distance of the school who's next nearest school with a place could be miles away?

You disgust me.

Mittens1969 · 24/09/2017 00:15

I wouldn't report, as you don't know whether they have obtained a school place fraudulently, OP. There are all sorts of reasons why they could have legitimately obtained a place. Adoption although not in this case apparently (btw our adopted DDs are ours legally as much as people's biological children are theirs legally!), SEN, or because they didn't get into their first choice school. You just don't know.

WorraLiberty · 24/09/2017 00:21

Mittens apparently the OP knows for sure there are no special needs, despite saying in the same breath that she and the parents are not friends Confused

heyday · 24/09/2017 00:21

We go to a school quite far from our own home, quite legitimately; we were trying to protect ourselves from DC'S abusive father who lived close to our catchment school. Yes, it is up to the authorities to do thorough checks. Family may have won a place on appeal because of circumstances that you know nothing about. Believe me, it's not easy to attend a school which is not so close to your home. It's the cost and time of travelling plus the child quite often misses out because they can't always have friends round due to travel difficulties etc . I think you should stay out of this one.

prh47bridge · 24/09/2017 00:25

My view is that if you suspect that a fraudulent address has been used you should report it to the council. You don't need proof. The council will investigate. If there is no problem the family will not be affected. If there is a problem their child's place will go to the child who should have got it in the first place but lost out due to this family's actions.

Mittens1969 · 24/09/2017 00:29

I know, WorraLiberty, I saw that. If she's not a friend why would they tell her if their DS did have SEN. It's not the OP's business.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2017 00:38

I wouldn't report, as you don't know whether they have obtained a school place fraudulently

Where is the logic in that?

If it was legal then they have nothing to worry about, at worst they will have to submit their proof. If it isnt, then the next child in line will get their deserved place.

Ivy79 · 24/09/2017 00:41

Agree with @Pyong

Why should peoples childcare issues trump the RIGHT for a child near to said school to have a place at their local school?

Really pisses me off.

'Oh, we live 20 miles from this amazing highly rated school, but I have conveniently got my relative who lives nearby to look after them while we are at work, so my child is entitled to go that school.'

Utter bollocks. YOU don't live in that area, so your child has no right to go there.

'what else am I supposed to do?' people ask. Get a childminder in YOUR AREA, and put them in a school in YOUR AREA, and quit bagging a school place you are not entitled to. Hmm

The people the OP know, have no 'right' to keep the child at that school, just because they have already settled in! It's only 2 weeks into the school year!

SparklyUnicornPoo · 24/09/2017 00:47

The school will have their correct address so know they live miles from school, as that is all you know you wouldn't be telling them anything new. I moved not long after DD was awarded her school place because I had no choice (landlord decided to sell so gave us notice) there's quite a gap between school allocations and them actually starting so it does happen.

If you have been seeing each other at the school gates for 4 years they wouldn't still be renting a house near school just for admissions, because the school wouldn't question them having moved after this long, so maybe there is a reason their other house isn't lived in, like maybe they own a few properties that they rent out and there's something wrong with the one near school so they had to move to one of the others. Also your child is presumably in KS2 now, so even if you report it the school aren't unlikely to do anything and the child they originally made miss out will be settled at another school, so it wouldn't achieve anything.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2017 00:50

Ivy agree

'what else am I supposed to do?' people ask. Get a childminder in YOUR AREA, and put them in a school in YOUR AREA

The Nursery of Mum and Dad doesnt charge whereas a childminder does. But they WORK so that makes it all ok Hmm

I'm alright Jack, pull the ladder away.

I just pity the kids who's friends are 11 miles away so dont get play dates, sleep overs or to go to parties.

HiJenny35 · 24/09/2017 00:56

They own another house near the school. So they said they were living there and got into the school. So what do you expect to happen? You have no proof that that they weren't living there at the time of the application so that's it. Now she's in they can move if they want. Keep your nose out.

blueberrypie0112 · 24/09/2017 00:56

Wherever the child sleep majority of the time, that’s his home. Not the home of the person looking after him. That’s my opinion

Theycalledmethewildrose · 24/09/2017 00:59

I don't know what you will decide to do OP but I question the real reason and motive for thinking about reporting them. You obviously know them quite well, you don't consider them friends and for some personal reason you resent where their child goes to school. I don't buy your original post where you said it doesn't affect you, one bit. While it may not affect your own child, the people in question quite obviously irk you in your personal life. If you are so adamant that truth should prevail, at least admit that home truth to yourself.

Ivy79 · 24/09/2017 00:59

Yeah I agree @pyong. It's so unfair on the child. As I said earlier in the thread, a girl who went to my kids school lived 13+ miles away (but she was there because her mother was the school nurse,) and she missed out on all the playing and socialising etc, as she lived a 26 mile round trip away.

It was very isolating for her, as all the kids where she lived knew each other from school and played together and left her out, and all the kids at HER school were 13 miles away, so she didn't socialise with them either.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 24/09/2017 00:59

PyongyangKipperbang

I never called people fascists, I said that some people think if someone doesn't follow every single law to a T then it means they need to be reported. Do you know whats even more annoying then someone bringing up Nazis or Hitler, it's someone bringing up Godwin's Law to dismiss any argument which might have some, small relevance. The Nazis also aren't the only regime who banned certain music or art. People have being worried about the rise of Populism in recent years but their concerns have been met with Godwin's Law

Also I am far from middle class, unlike many on MN I also wouldn't report a struggling single mum, with no support and on benefits who get's a tenner cash in hand here and there. I just don't think the world is black and white.

BlackeyedSusan · 24/09/2017 01:08

I really feel sorry for both child number 31 and the child of the parents who might have lied.

why is allegedly fraud child more important than child 31?

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2017 01:08

Do I think that a person who be reported for throwing an apple core itno a hedgerow when it will rot or be eaten because it is technically littering? No.

Do I think that someone who fraudulently deprives a child of a school place that is rightfully theirs should be reported? Yes I bloody well do.

That does not make me a nit picky inminban!

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2017 01:11

should not who

SilverySurfer · 24/09/2017 01:21

I don't understand why it's any of your business? You have said yourself that you may not have all the facts and there's no reason why you should. If your own life is so boring, I suggest you take up a hobby and stop poking your nose into other people's lives.

Gemini69 · 24/09/2017 01:44

Report them... it's fraudulent to lie on the application Flowers

daisychain01 · 24/09/2017 06:56

Isnt this similar to reporting someone if you think they are committing benefit theft? i.e. You don't need to be 100% certain about all the facts, you tell them what you know and why you think fraud is being committed, then it's up to them to carry out the investigation, facts are checked with the person and the final decision is left in the hands of those authorised to make the decisions.

On that basis OP you could contact the school, ask them for information about their selection criteria and then express concerns that the system is being abused. At that point you don't need to give any names, you need to be clear about the process before you launch in with accusations. Tread carefully.

Its for you to decide if you could live with the backlash if the parents ever find out it was you.