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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider reporting this family for having lied to the school?

818 replies

mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:12

Two parents and one child. They live nowhere near the primary state school they applied for and got into. I think - am pretty sure - they used a different address to the one they live at.
School very sought after. Shall I report them?

I've looked carefully into myself and this is what I think:

1- I am not jealous. If I had the chance to do the same I would not. I would like my child to go to a great state school so they are lucky for that but I would not play the way they did.

2- If I report them the child will have problems at school (? don't quite know what happens in those cases). The parents might have a breakdown or something having to face the backlash. Obviously they have brains and made their choice and would only pay the consequences of their actions but - I - would have precipitated the situation by reporting them. Maybe the system is so fucked anyway that what they did is not that big of a deal. Surely the school should have done 1000 checks before awarding places so there might be something I do not know. What I do know is that they live miles from that school, which has a very very small catchment area.

3- I should report them because if my child did not get into that school 'legally' I would despise people who took advantage of a loophole and took 'my child's place'.

WWYD?

I am a long-time poster/user but I have opened a different account as I do not want to be recognised. (If I do not want to face them and tell them that they are committing an illegal/immoral action does it mean that I am in the wrong thinking of calling the school anonymously?)

OP posts:
LostwithSawyer · 23/09/2017 22:42

If it hasn't affected you personally I can't understand why you care???

Gemini69 · 23/09/2017 22:44

Rules are Rules....

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 23/09/2017 22:45

In my county you can report anonymously but tbh at this stage nothing would happen as presumably the child has already started at the school. We wouldn't punish the child by removing them if they've already started. If you'd known about it since offers came out you should've reported it then and let the LA do the digging!

Rachie1973 · 23/09/2017 22:45

You say no way did they need kids from over 3 miles away.

I'm not so sure. We recently campaigned to keep one of our local secondary schools open.

One of our main points was the large amounts of housing going up in the area at the moment. Roughly 1000 homes. Family homes, 3/4/5 bedrooms. The council work out that this would equate to about 60 school age kids a year. No idea how they reached that figure.

We did win btw and the school is still open.

tiggytape · 23/09/2017 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vichill · 23/09/2017 22:45

At best you sound vindictive at worst a stalker. "Keep talking to me...Hmm" You're loving this perceived power over them.

Mammylamb · 23/09/2017 22:47

Wow. Yabu. Mind your own business. You don't know the ins and outs of everyone's private life, and frankly, you don't need to

Change2 · 23/09/2017 22:48

My kids attend an oversubscribed primary school that is out of our catchment area by enough of a fair bit to raise some eyebrows when people find out where we actually live. My kids qualified for special circumstance consideration when we applied for the school. This is due to a set of different circumstances mainly due to security issues around my husbands job.

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 23/09/2017 22:48

Please do report your concerns to LA admissions. If this family have done nothing wrong then there will be a quick investigation, possibly not even involving the family, and all will be OK. If however they have breached the admission criteria then they should answer to that.

I cannot understand people who say none of your business, let it go. Slippery slope. You have to wonder what else these people ignore? Minor theft from work, drink driving (only 1 drink?), sexual assault (well she was asking for it) etc etc.

longestlurkerever · 23/09/2017 22:49

It is a criminal offence to submit a fraudulent application. Just a very middle class crime. Again, the almost unanimous bashing the op has got here for considering reporting is quite telling given the attitude normally shown to the most minor of dishonesty offences on here, like realising you've been given too much change

Shittyshopping · 23/09/2017 22:49

What is there to gain by grassing?

vichill · 23/09/2017 22:49

WTF^

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2017 22:49

You're loving this perceived power over them

Yes, the 'keep talking to me' gave me that impression too.

astratty76666 · 23/09/2017 22:50

Really? You have nothing better to do with your time? You're pathetic, OP.

vichill · 23/09/2017 22:52

Are we really equating school place admissions fraud to sexual assault? I am finding myself rooting for the parents (dishonest or not).

Disn3yN3rd · 23/09/2017 22:52

You have no facts, just presumptions. The phrase "Mind your own business" springs to mind.

tiggytape · 23/09/2017 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernLurker · 23/09/2017 22:53

I suspect this involves the ops inlaws. Nasty of you op. The child is settled at the school, don't do damage.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:53

It is a criminal offence to submit a fraudulent application. Just a very middle class crime. Again, the almost unanimous bashing the op has got here for considering reporting is quite telling given the attitude normally shown to the most minor of dishonesty offences on here, like realising you've been given too much change

I think it's more telling of people assuming the application was fraudulent without knowing the full facts. Especially with posters describing several scenarios where they have also obtained places legitimately.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2017 22:55

All these 'minor shoplifting offences' and 'being given too much change in a shop', don't involve innocent children being potentially kicked out of the school they've settled and made friends in, do they? Confused

The OP doesn't need to be gloating about this power trip on the internet.

Just report or don't.

balsamicbarbara · 23/09/2017 22:55

If more people were like you our society would be a better place. If you have the information that would help then it is your business to report it and prevent the abuse. We need more people reporting suspicions not less.

Original poster
mnbvcx445566 · 23/09/2017 22:57

The child has not been adopted. I know them both and the child is theirs.
The child does not have special needs. Of that I am sure.
This is a person I have seen weekly at the playground for the past 4 years. We are not friends, otherwise I would want to talk to her, but we talk. No separating from the husband (our children know each other, our husbands talk to each other, we talk), no moving homes, no renting there while also having a place here.
They - have - a place they rent where the school is. I heard it was empty recently but never associated that it might have not been rented again for this reason.

The fact that she says it so openly at the playground makes me think that there's got to be something I do not know. Or maybe she just thinks that what she says here won't arrive there. I do not feel comfortable asking her 'how can you be there if you live here?'

But - I think - it's a question of morality. If rules are rules which ones do we follow and which ones do we not?

I might have too much time in my hands. I might be jealous (I am saying this seriously) but I do not know of what given that my child is in a lovely school and his (primary) future is sorted nicely.

What I do not have is a diverse group of people I can talk about this with, so here I am.

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 23/09/2017 22:59

Beak. Out.

JonSnowsWife · 23/09/2017 22:59

Child who is number 1 on the waiting list either gets a place or wins their appeal on the basis they were wrongly denied a place.

For an appeal. They'd have to prove that the LA did not apply the law correctly or that the child would be being prejudiced against more than the school would be prejudiced if they were to accept them.

Many appeals with severe bullying cases and people living next door to schools get turned down. I'm not sure 'because that bitch Jane got her DD in and Margaret really wanted her DS to go there' will have the same weight with a panel. It'll have some, nut not a whole lot. Depends on the circumstances, the full ones to which we are not privy.

astratty76666 · 23/09/2017 23:00

Unless you have access to his medical records, you have no idea if the child has special needs or not. Don't be so arrogant.