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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be appalled at this mum at the nursery?

216 replies

Xabirak · 14/09/2017 19:11

I drop my 4 years old to the nursery at breakfast time. As we habe a little rutine and I Stay until she's seated with her breakfast, we have no drama. None at all.
But every child/mum is different and some of them just cry the life out of them when leave. It's life.
Today a kid was particularly upset. It was a full drama to see her, and her poor mum.
So, when I was walking out of the room with said mum, I looked at her and said"it's just a phase, it will get better" I just tried to be comforting, didn't gave her any tips or spoke about my routine that works so well. I swear. Just said what I wrote.
And then I hear her saying"F**ck off"
"Excuse me?"
I'm a foreigner and thought, even having being here for 12 years, that my English failed me and didn't heard properly.
And then she looks at me and says"who gave you the right to talk about my child?"

Appalling.

Did I crossed some line I'm not aware of?????

OP posts:
winchesterfan · 14/09/2017 19:13

She was possibly stressed about leaving her DC crying and upset, maybe it's not a phase and it's been happening for a long time and she didn't appreciate your comment....who knows!

MyBrilliantDisguise · 14/09/2017 19:14

Ugh I hate it when people are so rude for no reason. Yes, she was probably stressed, but why say that to you?

GodIsDead · 14/09/2017 19:14

You can say fuck Wink

Miloarmadillo1 · 14/09/2017 19:16

She was way out of order.

redshoes2017 · 14/09/2017 19:16

She was very rude to you. You were offering reassurance not judgement. I would be appalled too at her response.

MotherofSausage · 14/09/2017 19:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

ProfessorCat · 14/09/2017 19:18

That is disgusting. What a horrible person. What did you say?

AssassinatedBeauty · 14/09/2017 19:18

Her reply was obviously rude, it's not nice of her to speak to you like that. However, you know nothing at all about her life and her child, there might be issues you're not aware of and she might have been very stressed about other things in her life. If you don't know her at all it's a bit intrusive to make comments about her child and her situation.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/09/2017 19:20

Well yes, of course it's fine to snarl fuck off at people because you're "stressed"... We'll have you only saw a snapshot of her day, she spends the rest of it dispensing soup to the destitute in a minute Hmm

pasturesgreen · 14/09/2017 19:20

No excuse for being so rude imo.

Her, not you obviously.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/09/2017 19:20

Oh, we already have!

chickenowner · 14/09/2017 19:21

She was very nasty. Just ignore her.

elevenclips · 14/09/2017 19:21

Well possibly.

You don't know it's just a phase. The child might be autistic. My child is 11 and if I could physically carry him, he'd like to sit on my hip all day like you might carry a 9 month old baby. He still screams if he doesn't want to go somewhere.

In any case a stranger struggling with a distressed child and goodness knows what other life problems probably isn't at their best.

She obviously shouldn't have said fuck in a nursery.

I'd forget about it and avoid her.

Disastronaut · 14/09/2017 19:23

It doesn't matter what her situation is, she was horrendously rude. No one needs to behave like that.

StarfishSeahorse · 14/09/2017 19:23

Maybe she found it patronising? Maybe she felt like you thought she was stupid and needed telling something she already knew?
I must admit I'd find a comment like that annoying, though I wouldn't swear at you. I'd just smile and nod.
She was unnecessarily rude about it even if it did wind her up.

SaucyJack · 14/09/2017 19:23

She shouldn't have sworn, but you weren't helpful.

You know Jack Schitt about her, her child or their "routine".

Calmanglass · 14/09/2017 19:28

You sound a bit smug about your routine and having no drama. Surely by 4 your child should be able to go in without you hovering around... the nursery staff would probably prefer you to drop and go.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 14/09/2017 19:28

What a bitch. Ignore her.

AssassinatedBeauty · 14/09/2017 19:28

No one has said it's fine. Exactly the opposite in fact. But if you're going to make comments to strangers about their lives then you just occasionally might get an unpredictable response, given that you are totally ignorant of their situation. Or they might be unpleasant people who swear at everyone that upsets them. Either way, in a clearly stressful situation it might be best not to get involved.

DILF1981 · 14/09/2017 19:30

Mind your own business in the future

Quartz2208 · 14/09/2017 19:31

To be honest if you came across to her like you do on this thread you sound smug and patronising.
But even so she was very rude

annawoolfworries · 14/09/2017 19:33

I found a bit of reassurance from strangers nice when my kids have been going nuts. She's a rude bitch, you're probably one of many she's sworn at this week. Ignore her.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 14/09/2017 19:33

Mind your own business in the future
Pretty sure op was trying to make her feel better, people are so bloody rude these days

AnyFucker · 14/09/2017 19:34

Wow. Are we not allowed to try and reach out to someone any more ?

Op, you didn't do anything wrong.

When my son was screaming the place down and clinging to my leg like I was dropping him off at Aushwitz, not nursery, I would have appreciated someone acknowleging me. Instead all I got was deafening silence from the other mums around me.

khajiit13 · 14/09/2017 19:35

No excuse for how rude she was