to be horrified that my friend asked me if I am watching what my child eats because he has become quite large???

[Jordans02021982]

Hello, I never actually post on here, just have a little browse, but figured this is probably a good place to discuss this. My son is 7 and small for his age (height wise, but not sure if that is relevant) he isn't skinny, no, but he definitely isn't "quite large". I know it sounds extreme, but I have been crying over this. I really make an effort to make sure he is eating healthy, but does have the odd treat, he's a kid. He does lots of sports and runs around like everyone else! I just feel so hurt. She hasn't seen him for 2 years now and when it was just me and her (the kids went off to play) she said am I watching what he is eating and I said what, she said he has become quite large and pointed to her tummy, so clearly knew what she was on about. Then said he should be like her son and that there's clearly a huge difference. She is a fitness coach and very into her fitness, but I just can't believe it.

He isn't "quite large"!!!

He's 108cm, 19.5kg which means he is a healthy weight (74th percentile) I knew it.

For a boy who's just turned 7, a weight of 19.5kg is on the 10th percentile. For a just turned 8 year old it's below the 3rd. A height of 108cm is below the 1st percentile. His BMI is 16.7 which is around the 75th percentile. I'd get his height checked out.

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I think your 'friend' was horrible to say your son should be like her son. That's rude. It's good to know your children's height and weight though. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling kids that being a healthy weight is important. You don't need to make a big fuss about it.

Aren't kids supposed to be on the same percentile for weight & height?

diddle I asked the same question but apparently the 75th is a BMI indicator, not just the weight one.

He is a perfectly healthy weight for his height according to the BMI charts. People questioning it need to look at the charts.

My DS is overweight and weirdly I get the opposite comments. I know he's overweight but he eats healthily and does between 10-15 hours of proper sport outside of school. DH and also my brother were both exactly the same as children and were both really slim from about age 13. He is starting to stretch out a bit already so I am not massively concerned. People will say that he's not overweight and that I'm being unkind, he is a solid build and muscly/athletic but he also has fat on him. People are really strange . . .

From what I understand he's in an acceptable range.

If he's at the top end of that then he might look overweight to someone who is used to skinnier kids.

Often parents are unable to recognise that their own child is over weight. There is a natural state of denial unfortunately. Either your friend is being extremely unpleasant or there is a weight problem that you can't see as you're his mum? I hope this ain't upsetting you but it is a very odd thing for someone to say if it isn't true.

@Crispmonster1 - RTFT.

@Urubu - well, if it wasn't BMI, he'd be much lower as 19.5 kg for his age isn't a lot at all, it's because he is so short.

Lots of adults are blind to weight not just parents. My DD is >99th centile for height (30cm taller than yours OP and she's 7 too) and 92nd for weight. I don't think she looks overweight and if I ever mention to anyone else that she is i am told I am wrong (and dreadful!) and that she's lovely and slim. She's certainly not fat. But healthy is skinny at her age.

Aren't kids supposed to be on the same percentile for weight & height?

Not really. They'll have different body shapes.

Ds1 is on the 98th centiles for weight and height - very tall and very broad/heavyset, the same as dh is. He looks 'correct' weight in that he's in perfect proportion iyswim.

Ds2 is on the 25th centile for weight and 75th for height and has been since a toddler...and he looks tall and skinny. To try and feed him up to the 75th centile for weight would be impossible, this is just his natural body shape.

Aren't kids supposed to be on the same percentile for weight & height?

Not really. DD is extremely tall, a little overweight (consultant not concerned so I'm certainly not). DS tall. But not as tall and as skinny as a rake.

This thread makes no sense whatsoever. For the OP's DS to have a BMI of 74th percentile with a height of 108cm and a weight of 19.5kg, he is 7 years and 4 months old ish (I've used a BMI calculator that gives all the details of the calculation, but obviously, I don't know his exact birth date). But, at that age, he would be 2nd percentile for height -so far in keeping with the thread, but also only 6th percentile for weight. There is no way that the friend would think he was fat. There is no way that he would be wearing age 7-8 trousers either .

My DD1 is 11, almost 12, is 2-9th percentile for weight, and we have her in age 7-8 knickers, she has the waist of an average 2 year old, so we have to buy 10-11 trousers with adjustable waists only and take them down to their tightest setting and still they are baggy around her waist. Leggings only stay up because her hips give some structure to them.

@lougle to be fair, the OP said sometimes 6-7 or 7-8... She also never said anything about trousers. I know river island comes up quite small... It does depend on shops.

It's hard sometimes to be objective about our own children.

Just weigh him, make it fun - weigh the whole family, to double check.

@TurquoiseChevrotain, we're talking about a boy here. She was telling people about her boy being of normal weight before she had the chance to weigh him. People had said that lots of parents don't know that their children are overweight and that they have a 'tummy'. Do you not think that if she had to buy particularly small trousers for him, she would be jumping up and down to point it out?

@TurquoiseChevrotain what does RTFt stand for?

I call bollocks on the height and weight. I reckon the OP just can't bear to say the actual weight... and the height is surely worryingly small? That's less than my average sized 4 nearly five year old... 😳

Why did you post if you didn't want the advise
She was talking to you not your child
Why don't you just check ?
You can't comment till you check his height and weight ?
What's the big deal rather than being so defensive

only 6th percentile for weight. There is no way that the friend would think he was fat

Yes, agree with this. Ds2 is a hair under the 25th weight centile and he is skinny-skinny. Healthy but no flesh about him. Very noticible collar bones, ribs I could play a tune on, biggish thigh gap and calves that are nearly straight from knee to ankle.

No way would anyone mistake a child on the 6th weight centile as being fat.

@FlandersRocks - I'm assuming that's why OP posted. If he was overweight, she wouldn't post, would she? Some people are like that. My sister is almost in the underweight part on her BMI, but someone said "she has a bit of a tummy" there are people like it.

If he was overweight, she wouldn't post, would she

What, like those people who are in the Daily Mail with the "school said my child is fat, how dare they" stories, and telling you what a healthy weight child is, and you look at the photo and think "nah he's pretty tubby actually"?