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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be horrified by the way some people talk to their kids

216 replies

MistressPage · 24/08/2017 15:35

I know small children can be wearing. I know. But the way some people talk to their kids is so upsetting. At the farm and just passed a mother saying, very calmly and quite conversationally to her small daughter: "after your bath I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. I've had enough of your face today, ok?"
It chilled me to the bone. Such quiet contempt. That poor little girl. Why must people be so awful to their children
It's not that hard to be a grownup and remember to rise above is it? And not talk to your kids as if you dislike them?

OP posts:
Titanz · 24/08/2017 15:40

It's a horrible way to speak to a child, but then again it can also be incredibly frustrating being a parent and and based off one mark I wouldn't judge someone too harshly tbh.

Ropsleybunny · 24/08/2017 15:40

That's really not nice but I've heard much worse. I remember being really shocked the first time I heard parents telling a child to "shut the fuck up, you little cunt".

IdentifiesAsASloth · 24/08/2017 15:41

What Titanz said.

I've never been as harsh as that as far as I can remember, but I have had to be pretty blunt with my eldest dc sometimes as he just doesn't get the message.

MrsJayy · 24/08/2017 15:45

Oh dearie me thats harsh but honest i suppose it is school holidays still where you are maybe the kid has been whinging for days, i have heard much much worse.

MrsJayy · 24/08/2017 15:47

I heard on the bus a mother telling her son that she was glad mrs teacher had put him in isolation cos he is a worthless pain in the fucking arse Shock

Myfanwyprice · 24/08/2017 15:48

That does sound awful, i've got to be honest, anyone who heard me speak to my quite impossible ds on holiday might have said the same, but believe me, 10 minutes of trying to deal with him at his worst and you would be saying much worse. He could test the patience of the most saintly saint.

Until you've walked a mile in their shoes. . .

ILoveMillhousesDad · 24/08/2017 15:49

One little girl got under my feet at an aisle in asda. Not a problem for me at all. Kids sometimes don't watch were they are going. Mum said to little girl 'move out the way you stupid cow' then apologised to me on the childs behalf.

It was horrible.

Another mum I heard telling her kids that they would be 'dead meat' if they didn't shut up. They were about 2.

Breaks my heart. I know you can be at the end of your tether sometimes and this is a quick snapshot, but it's when the kids don't even look upset as they are so used to it.

mogulfield · 24/08/2017 15:49

I don't know why some people have kids my mum used to tell us we'd ruined her life and she wished she'd never had us. She told us never to have children or she would disown us, true to her word she has. I'm still mystified why she had us.

MrsJayy · 24/08/2017 15:52

I used to be quite chilling quiet in my telling off delivery it the dc knew i meant it if i got a bit sinister q

IHopeYourCakeIsShit · 24/08/2017 15:52

I don't care what kind of day you've had or how much a kid tries your patience, there is never an excuse to call a child a cunt.

Mrscropley · 24/08/2017 15:52

I have been know to jolly dc along to an early night stating 12 hours of dc a day is plenty but they know I am just kidding (well maybe /maybe not).

BackieJerkhart · 24/08/2017 15:52

I normally hate it when people jump in with "but but but, you've only seen a snapshot" however, is there any chance at all she was having a joke with her? My eldest is 12 and we have the sort of relationship where I could say that and appear to be absolutely serious to an outsider but he and I would both 100% know it was a joke. My younger DC doesn't understand sarcasm or things like that so i don't do it with him but older DC would absolutely know I wasn't serious.

TheLegendOfBeans · 24/08/2017 15:53

I can be quite blunt and worry that I'm a bit too "cold" with my DD who's 18mo but she's an affectionate and kind girl who is entering toddlerdom and all is delights with gusto.

The idea of speaking to her like the examples given above makes me sick to my stomach.

I have a friend who regularly refers to her 18mo as a "twat" or "being a dick". Now she is in the ravages of untreated PND but even so it pains me to see her talk about her little boy like that.

I might sound pearl clutchy but it really makes me so sad. And I come from a background where "buggerlugs" is a blanket term of universal endearment for little kids Confused

BackieJerkhart · 24/08/2017 15:53

I would probably follow a comment like that with something like "in fact, can you just cover your face with your hood right now" Grin

Original poster
MistressPage · 24/08/2017 15:55

It's just so sad isn't it. I know people who would love so much to have children. I waited a hell of a long time for mine. Even when he's being a total horror (and at 2 he is sometimes!) I never forget that. I might tick him off but I would never say anything that indicated I didn't like him.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 24/08/2017 15:56

I said to a 12 year old dd once I will punch you in the face if you dont stop that ... i was joking dd knew i was joking but god if somebody heard me Blush

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 24/08/2017 15:59

I've had to tell DD to leave me alone to calm down for 5 minutes because she was really pushing my buttons. I've certainly felt like I didn't want to see her for the rest of the day.

McDougal · 24/08/2017 15:59

Just this morning, I was in Aldi and there was a little boy around 1 1/2 to 2 I'd say in a buggy a couple of people behind me in the queue. He was getting a little bit loud so the checkout lady said to the lady behind me 'are you ignoring that poor boy? No wonder he's shouting'....said in a jokey manner, no issues there.

The woman pushing the buggy (assuming mam) replied with 'ah he's just a little shit man. Never shuts up'. Everyone else just laughed along and I was Shock

I'm glad it's not just me after reading this thread.

Original poster
MistressPage · 24/08/2017 16:02

BackieJerkhart fair point but this was a little one of about 3 who almost certainly wouldn't be big enough to get that sort of joke and who was hanged my her little head and looking sad...

OP posts:
Original poster
MistressPage · 24/08/2017 16:02

hanging her head

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 24/08/2017 16:03

I have a friend who screams at her kids when she has had enough and the end of her tether I hate you and I wish you'd never been born
.
It's an awful thing to say, but you have to laugh don't you? Smile

BarbarianMum · 24/08/2017 16:04

I wouldn't say it to a toddler but I quite often tell my two (11 and 9) they'll be dead meat if they X/Y/Z. They think its funny. Hmm

PerpetualStudent · 24/08/2017 16:04

McDougal if a checkout lady said that to me, it'd be her getting the sharp end of my tongue, not my DS!

BackieJerkhart · 24/08/2017 16:06

fair point but this was a little one of about 3 who almost certainly wouldn't be big enough to get that sort of joke

Oh in that case it's horrible! Poor thing.

paperandpaint · 24/08/2017 16:06

I'm definitely not getting at you TheLegendofBeans as I can see you agree with OP but PND (treated or untreated) is NOT a reason/excuse to treat your kids like crap. Yes you might be quieter/less engaged/sleepy/lethargic/house a bit messy/have less patience than usual but calling your children names or being deliberately unkind? Just no.

I've had PND three times and have never behaved like this.