To be horrified by the way some people talk to their kids

[MistressPage]

I know small children can be wearing. I know. But the way some people talk to their kids is so upsetting. At the farm and just passed a mother saying, very calmly and quite conversationally to her small daughter: "after your bath I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. I've had enough of your face today, ok?"
It chilled me to the bone. Such quiet contempt. That poor little girl. Why must people be so awful to their children
It's not that hard to be a grownup and remember to rise above is it? And not talk to your kids as if you dislike them?

Forkrightoff that sausage roll story is so sad. Classic example of a kid being emotionally abused for just being a bit clumsy or whatever

I hate it! Overheard someone the other day saying to a tantrumming toddler 'I don't care what you want. I just fucking want you to do what I want'. So sad.

One of our nicknames for DD (4) is the bug....she was a tiny premie and when DH brought her to me from NICU, he wheeled her into the room with a flourish stating "here's one snugly bug". I have been known to call her bugalugs. Have I made some huge faux pas?!

Oh and OP, YANBU.

I can honestly say in the last 13 years I've never been verbally abusive to either child or DH, I've had PND twice and made A LOT of mistakes. Like a lot. Loads. And then loads more. But no, there's a way to speak to your kiddies, and this isn't it. Inner voice is important, let's make it a good one.

I do call them toads but they know it's affectionate

She does sandybeach. I'm with the pp who said that she just wants to cuddle dd, I've just given my 10 yr old ds a big hug, he thinks I'm up to something!

But what if someone overheard you calling your kid a toad and started a thread on mumsnet detailing how sorry they felt for your child?

Aibu to think this is a horrible name to call a child? Something like that.

I must admit I do snap sometimes and say "I don't care we're doing X" or shout at them to leave each other alone.

However earlier today I heard a mum rant down the phone about the "little cunts driving me mad today" in front of her small children and felt sad for them.

I just can't imagine telling my DD (3) that there was no dinner for her after she had accidentally dropped something.

She fell up the stairs at the cinema whilst holding her popcorn and spilt it all. I filled up her box with my popcorn because she hadn't done it on purpose.

Jade at 9 months, babies can and do understand speech already. Babies understand a lot before they start speaking. I wouldn't just assume that your baby doesn't understand.

It's a bit different Pictish. Toad isn't really offensive if it's an affectionate name and said with affection. I call my boy a little monkey but that's not the same as saying I don't want to see his face!

Hmm yes...context is everything.

Oplo

On the other side of this, had a busy day with dc's today, had a mostly lovely walk around nice old market town with a castle, youngest DS (4) looks about 7/8 and has ASD, ADHD, epilepsy and a couple of other bits and bobs, was doing his usual, pulling at house and car door handles as we walked past, suddenly dropping to the floor to 'escape' and grabbing on to railings with his (rather abnormally strong) grip- jerking me over a couple of times- distracted him, managed and got all 3 DC back to car- but i was flustered, tired and hurting. As DP unlocked car and strapped DS (5) into his car seat, i was waiting for DD to open our side and DS (4) was pulling and trying to run off into road. I said "oh for goodness sake DS's name* will you just stop fighting me"! didnt shout, just sounded a bit fed up- and a family sat on the war memorial opposit the car all looked at me as the mum said out loud 'some people just have no patiance' i felt like wringing her bloody judgemental neck. Got in car and glared at her until we pulled off.

And its posted in bold...

mummyofmoomoos

I get frustrated with DD and she is NT. I wouldn't say there was anything wrong with what you said. She was wrongly judgemental.

Moomoos - you are clearly a horrible human being unfit to be a mother to your child.

I am a horrible mother- in my head i call him a little shitehawk! But only in my head

It's so sad, DD can push me to the absolute limit at times but I could never say something as awful as that to her. You don't know what stays with them.

However I have heard worse, once sat in McDonalds when I heard a mother say.... 'sit down & eat that now or I'm going to smash your f**king face in' to a boy of about 6. Can still see his little face.

There's discipline & there's just being a vile person

A few weeks ago I took dd swimming, on the way out a boy of no more than 10 was running towards a parked car, sobbing and very distressed, he got to the car and it drove off out the car park round the corner, I asked him if he was ok, he said that's my mum and she keeps driving away from me, she hates me! I followed him round the corner and the mum had stopped in the bus lane to let the boy get in, not before she screamed "served you right you little fucking shit, get in now". I can't really describe how bad it was and how sad I felt. I'm not perfect and have shouted at my dc many times, but this was very disturbing to witness, he was so distraught and scared as he got in that car.

I must be such a wuss - I cried when my Dad called me a carthorse.

Several years ago when I had a year 7 tutor group, I remember feeling sad when one little girl told me that in the evening she had her tea as soon as she got home, then had to to her homework and then she had to "get out of my stepdad's sight for the rest of the night" - she was such a lovely little girl too. I could have taken her home but didn't want to be arrested.

Yeah I've heard some unpleasant stuff. Poor kids called some terrible swear words. It's not good at all.

We all get stressed with kids but luckily I've managed to keep my thoughts in my head and not blurt them out. Kids have bloody good memories....

And then they come to school and we pick up the pieces. And worry about them in the holidays. Especially the long summer.

Moomoos you don't sound awful at all, and what you said was just a normal expression of frustration. VERY different to directing unpleasant verbally aggressive stuff to a child.

(Although Pictish evidently has a massive beef with me and is determined to misunderstand and undermine literally everything I say😂)

Pictish I've called DD Monster since she was born, the song was a big hit then. She'll respond equally to that or her name. Great fun when I'm calling her in the park! 😂