To be horrified by the way some people talk to their kids

[MistressPage]

I know small children can be wearing. I know. But the way some people talk to their kids is so upsetting. At the farm and just passed a mother saying, very calmly and quite conversationally to her small daughter: "after your bath I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. I've had enough of your face today, ok?"
It chilled me to the bone. Such quiet contempt. That poor little girl. Why must people be so awful to their children
It's not that hard to be a grownup and remember to rise above is it? And not talk to your kids as if you dislike them?

Of course it's totally ok to tell a child to give you some peace or no or to stop doing that but like PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon says, verbal abuse is long lasting and terribly damaging.

Yanbu. I have a son with autism and learning disabilities and he can honestly be the most challenging child in the world at times and of course I tell him off from time to time as with any child but I would never speak to either of my children the way the woman did in your op. I think that's incredibly horrid. It implies absolute hatred. That's not being a parent.

I once walked past my neighbours house when her windows were open upstairs.

I nearly rang the bell or shouted up.

It sounded like ww3.

She literally screamed like a banshee OUUUUUUUTTTT! OUT OUT OUT OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I KILL YOU.

Then a massive slam sound and the sound of a child hyperventilating and then beginning to cry hysterically when they got their breath back.

It was the way she said it more than the words she was shrieking like she was out of control and her kid would have been about 4 at the time.

It is absolutely terrifying to a child and I say that as one who was frequently shouted and screames and sworn at and called names.

Young children are testing at the best of times, the other day whilst walking around Asda with my 8 year old I could have throttled her!
I had to ask her several times to get off the trolley to stop running up and down in the end I gave her one last final warning and she did it AGAIN so I took her by the hand walked out of Asda and put her in the car!
I was another 15 minutes completely the shop. Ild rather parents were assertive than letting their children run around uncontrollably

I've said to my DC that I don't want to see them for the rest of the night, or that I didn't want to look at them, usually after I've spent a fortune on them on a trip out yet not buying them another piece of overpriced tat warrants a face down to the floor . Prob wouldn't have said it when they were 3 though, that's a little harsh

It's very easy to pass judgement on the internet isn't?
More difficult and scary to say something in real life.

Too many keyboard warriors here (including me)

My mum used to tell us she wished she'd never had us and she really just wanted to run away and never have to see us again. I'm over 50 now and still remember how much that hurt. The kind of name calling overheard on this thread is absolutely sickening.

And of course...everything depends on intonation doesn't it? You can read things in a harsh tone or a jocular tone or whatever. It's often not what is said but the way it's said.

"after your bath I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. I've had enough of your face today, ok?"

You can read that as being full of contempt...or as tongue in cheek. None of us know do we?

I've heard the same man twice in my local shop snarling at his kids "If you don't stop doing xyz, I'll wallop you."

Perpetual the checkout woman directed her comment at the lady in front of the woman with the child. Bit passive aggressive but the response from the woman tops that for me.

Oh and everyone else laughing at the 'little shit' comment

Antigrinch no you sound completely reasonable. There's a world of difference between 'I can't get you everything you want immediately' and 'I don't want to see your face' !!!!

Neutrogena very true. I wouldn't have dared say something on real life because she seemed like a fucking psycho 😂

Pictish my heart does bleed tho. I might be sensitive but if someone said to me that they had had enough of my face and didn't want to look at me any more, I'd be pretty hurt. And I'm not 3 and I have my big girl pants on. People should think more.

Buggerlugs was a cheeky term of endearment for us when we were kids. It's not one you hear anymore really and I don't say it then one day it fell out of my mouth in a "come here buggerlugs!" jokey way at swimming and the instructor was really shocked. I felt a bit as I'd never said it before but at the same time never realised it was a bad word!

Oh I don't think buggerlugs is that bad. It's not like you've shouted "Oi, fuckface, c'mere'!

Totally @paperandpaint - i concur. It's sad situ all round. She really slags him off and the upset is compounded by the fact she feels her life as she knows it is over so she verbally seems to lash out about him.

But yeah, when I was climbing the walls when I had it I didn't say those kinds of things.

I think I'm rambling now

I told my 4 yr old the other night that I didn't want to see his face again till the morning after he kept coming out of his room and misbehaving at bedtime. He was devastated and went from naughty and arrogant to instantly crumpled. He took it very personally. But a few hugs and an explanation that it's a turn of phrase meaning get back into bed and don't come out again and he was fine. I was just shocked at how it injured him that particular phrase.

Kids can take things very literally but I do think you always know when something has shaken them.

I sometimes tell DS to 'bog off and play' but he knows it's jokey. I also tell him seriously to back up and get out of my face when he's doing an excited puppy impression. And he thinks it's hilarious when I make lurid threats to string him up by his ankles/chop his arms and legs off/lock him in the cellar for a fortnight (we don't have a cellar). I can't imagine how I'd deliver 'I don't want to see your face for the rest of the day' in a tongue-in-cheek way though - can't hear it with that ring. Hm.

Can you imagine if somebody came on here and said their DP or DH had called them a dick/twat/cunt/ or said "I don't want to see your face again tonight". People would rightly say its emotional abuse. So why do we excuse it when it's children and say things like "you don't know the mum, she might be amazing " or "she's having a bad day" or "it's hard work with a toddler"? It wouldn't be ok in a relationship and it's not ok when directed at children.

I find it more unsettling when it's calm and casual than when you can see someone has just lost their temper and said something they'll regret.
When it seems totally normal and the child barely reacts you just know they probably deal with that all the time.

During a row, my mum once called me a slug thinking it would make me laugh and end the fight, and I burst into tears! Haven't thought about that for years, it was so funny once I'd stopped crying 😅

My god some of the honest answers on this thread are really appalling!! There is never an excuse to call your child any type of name whether it's a joke or not, it's so bloody horrible! Should be so ashamed of yourselves for emotionally abusing your child like that.

When my DD was a baby, I had to take her to be weighed each week by the midwives. One of the other mums and I were talking, she had a young baby too and had just found out she was pg again. She said, "I hope the next birth isn't as bad, this one really hurt me on the way out, the little bitch".
I said something like "oh I'm sure she didn't mean it" or something stupid, but it seemed like a very strong word to use for a tiny little bubba.

Maybe a lot of it has to do with how people in general speak. If my husband is annoying me I'll tell him to stop being a dick/twat/prick. It doesn't really strike me as an awful thing to say. When he comes home and asks how the baby has been I might say she's been a little shit, meaning she's been crawling all over me, getting in cupboards, throwing shit everywhere etc.