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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

216 replies

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 16:55

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

OP posts:
Mulch · 06/08/2017 16:58

I've not come accross it myself on here but I imagine people conjure up images of the negative stereotype gamers

Oddish · 06/08/2017 17:01

I think the problem can be that gaming can take up a lot of time, it can be almost addictive, which leads some gamers to choose gaming over spending time with their family. Which obviously makes the person choosing this a dick but gaming gets the bad rep.

CockacidalManiac · 06/08/2017 17:01

Yeah, I've seen some of this. It'd because it's an easy and lazy stereotype. Other pastimes are seen as ok, but gaming appears to be judged.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2017 17:03

YANBU

It's lazy and to honest shows posters to be unimaginative and immature.

Gaming is no different from any other hobby

Nancy91 · 06/08/2017 17:03

I have always thought this!! Calling someone a man child for playing games is weird because you wouldn't say that about him if he enjoyed reading or something.

I'm a gamer and a fully qualified adult, thanks.

JessicaEccles · 06/08/2017 17:04

Anyone who watches love island or big brother or any such thing would be advised to think about glass houses etc before slagging off gaming Smile

CockacidalManiac · 06/08/2017 17:04

Although, when I misread the thread title I thought this was about a swingers website.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 17:05

I agree OP, I tend to avoid AIBU threads about gaming now because it's the same insults every time.

I have Cerebral Palsy and I'm a gaming fanatic, in real life I'd struggle to play sports or race cars etc but gaming lets me kick ass without leaving the house.

I still leave the house occasionally for things other than work too and I have a tan so I'm not a stereotypical pasty skinned, spotty gamer either Grin.

Penny4UrThoughts · 06/08/2017 17:05

Totally agree with you op, and I'm not a gamer. I am surrounded by them though!

MaisyPops · 06/08/2017 17:05

To be honest I think almost any adult hobby is up for being judged on here. I've seen it on gaming, cycling, going to the gym.
Anything that isn't family time or chores is a sign of sad selfish people according to some on mumsnet.

If I'm honest, I have friends who game and they've said that the more hard-core element of gamers are a little obsessed and act a little like overgrown adolescents (pretty much adult versions of teenage selves), but apparently they're nice enough. I wonder if then stereotype comes from. Still I'm generally of the view that I'd rather people had hobbies than were boring individuals who laugh at other people's hobbies.

Somerford · 06/08/2017 17:09

I don't view it any differently to any other hobby. If It doesn't impact negatively on anyone else then it's really nobody else's business. Crack on, gamers, and ignore anyone who judges you for doing something that you enjoy.

Mabelface · 06/08/2017 17:10

Quite! They're not all unwashed, neck beard types, sitting in their bedroom at their mum's house wearing a fedora!

QuiteLikely5 · 06/08/2017 17:11

It's judged when a man who usually has a family to support spends hours playing on his console every night.

Quite right too!

dollydaydream114 · 06/08/2017 17:12

I think the problem can be that gaming can take up a lot of time, it can be almost addictive, which leads some gamers to choose gaming over spending time with their family.

So can any other hobby.

Goodasgoldilox · 06/08/2017 17:13

My adult son tells me that his gaming hobby is no worse than my own habit of staring at thin slices of wood whilst hallucinating.

CockacidalManiac · 06/08/2017 17:15

There's certain posters that judge any other activity apart from obsessively posting on MN as 'sad'.

Cooroo · 06/08/2017 17:15

My DD at 20 is a gamer, World of Warcraft, table top and more recently has taken up LARP (Empire). She's met lovely people and I think they are great hobbies. There will be a few dicks doing it, like anything else.

MaisyPops · 06/08/2017 17:19

CockacidalManiac
Especially if god-forbid it takes you out of the house and away from the family.

4 hours half mumsnetting whilst half keeping an eye on the kids = glorious family time

2 hours out doing a hobby leaving the other parent at home = selfish and unreasonable

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 17:20

It's fair enough when people are gaming instead of carrying out family responsibilities but that's more about the person involved not the hobby, surely? I know plenty of women with husbands that golf who are at their wits end. Similarly, a male friend has a wife obsessed with shopping and nights out and he feels the same.

Goodasgoldilox - that's brilliant! I do that a lot too!

OP posts:
Nancy91 · 06/08/2017 17:21

I have a theory as to why many MNers are rude about gamers.

Most hobbies will take you out of the house or be things you can stop doing momentarily etc. Obviously with gaming this isn't the case (if you don't want to lose). I think the people complaining about it can't get to grips with the idea that the person is in the house but is not available to pay attention to them, because they are busy gaming.

It's like because you are engaging in this hobby at home, they feel that it is their right to stop you as they are, quite frankly, a bit needy. If you were engaging in a hobby outside of the house they would have to get on with things and they wouldn't keep interrupting you.

They are jealous that the gamer's attention isn't on them.

PolarisStar · 06/08/2017 17:23

I'm a female in my late twenties me and DP between us own a PS4, XBOX One, Nintendo Switch and a 2 x 3DS.

I love gaming, and we game together quite a bit not sure why a lot of people have an issue with It but I know what you mean OP.

We dont have kids

BanginChoons · 06/08/2017 17:24

My ex chose gaming over parenting, that's a bit shit tbh. If other gamers have a better balance and do participate in everyday life as well as their hobby, then I don't consider that any of my business.

Whisky2014 · 06/08/2017 17:26

Everything in moderation however..games are addictive. I broke up with my ex because he eas just always fucking gaming. Doing nothing worthwhile and never doing housework. Moving the sofa to the middle of the room to get a better view. Just annoyed me. And most of the other gamers I know are like this too.
So I don't care about people gaming, it is good fun. But even I have been addicted and whittled away hours playing super paper Mario, Harry Potter, fable etc etc and essentially I hve nothing to show for it!

RainyDayBear · 06/08/2017 17:26

My DP is a gamer. His hobby therefore involves us sitting in the same room, occasionally chatting and him doing his fair share of DD's bedtimes etc.

One of my good friends has a husband who is into cricket and live music, and is always out for entire days at the weekend and various evenings. I'll take gaming any day!

MaisyPops · 06/08/2017 17:27

Good theory nancy.
Though I think you're being way too charitable because the type of people who can't get their head around someone doing a hobby in the house are the same people who start mental tallies about their partner doing something outside the house as well.

It's very much work time, family time or couple time. Friends and hobbies are OK but really that should be limited if you want to be a great parent and partner. You're right. It's all about attention.