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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

216 replies

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 16:55

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

OP posts:
Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 13:51

It depends if the 14 year old French lad is a camper on call of duty Grin

SunyBay · 07/08/2017 13:54

I'm a gamer, and so is my partner.

We love playing video games together, or just one of us will watch the other play. (I play more than he does, simply because I have a bit more time to do so, as I get home from work before he does.) I've no doubt that once the baby arrives, I'll play games less, but I'm certainly not going to stop entirely. (And I have lots of other hobbies which involve going outside, such as horse riding, sailing, and hiking.)

We also have lots of board games that we love to play with each other, and also with friends.

And we play D&D with a large group of friends of all ages (both men and women), including another couple with a young son (who incidentally loves having lots of adults around who will always be willing to play a game with him).

Playing games can be a very sociable activity, and I really don't see how being "childish" in terms of playing games can be a bad thing if you've got children. Surely it means you can connect with them on another level.

Yes, if you're ignoring your family and household chores because you're too busy gaming (probably playing video games) then that's rude. But not everyone is like that.

I think there's a perception that people are like that because it is still considered a stuck-in-the-dark, eating junk food, being unsocial endeavour. But lots and lots of people do it - I discuss gaming at work with lots of colleagues, and have found that if one person starts talking about, you discover that more people than you think play games of one description or another. When I tell my work colleagues that a large group of us go on holiday once a year for a week to play D&D, they don't look at me like I'm crazy (I should add that we play D&D in the evening - the days are reserved for touristy things, or chilling in the garden, playing with the kids).

Being childish should be celebrated! Wink Long live gaming in all it's forms (just game responsibily).

JoshLymanJr · 07/08/2017 13:58

there's no physical exercise involved so in that sense it is not as good for you as a sport or something involving walking around outdoors.

Much the same as other hobbies such as reading books, doing jigsaws or knitting, then?

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 14:01

but there doesn't seem to me to be much of a way to pretend that shouting abuse at a 14 year old french lad over a head mic on Call of Duty 4 isnt a bit sad

I am sure you've got the wit to work out that isn't what the majority of adult gamers do......?

CockacidalManiac · 07/08/2017 14:03

Although I've been a gamer for nearly 40 years. I've never worn a headset. It's not obligatory, neither do I want to be called 'a fag' by some overexcitable American 13 year old boy.

HipsterHunter · 07/08/2017 14:10

I fail to see why people are derogatory about gaming as an 'immature' hobby.

It's no different to reading, watching TV/movies or sport or any other sedentary or media based hobby.

I'm not really a gamer (I read) but DP plays a little bit I enjoy watching some of the games. It's nice, we can sit in the same room, chat occasionally and be around whilst both doing something we enjoy.

We also have lots of other iobboes like biking, hiking, camping, kayaking so it's not all sedentary.

Gaming is quite a good value to hours spent activity which is partly why it is so popular.

Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 14:11

It's not obligatory, neither do I want to be called 'a fag' by some overexcitable American 13 year old boy.

I agree there, if I play on my own with our DP i don't put my headset on.

Just because I am a female who plays games like call of duty and gta v i must be fat, a lesbian with ginger hair and no teeth. It makes me laugh but at the same time cannot be bothered with little kids (whose parents should not let their children play games like gta v and call of duty) giving me(I'm in my 30's) abuse.

HipsterHunter · 07/08/2017 14:13

Also.... people sitting on their phones/computers reading shit people they don't know have posted that might or might not be real on MN. I'd say this is more 'sad' than gaming!

Eolian · 07/08/2017 14:13

YANBU. Gaming is certainly no more trivial or pointless than watching tv (or spending time on FB and Instagram), and I'm sure plenty of people who slag off gamers are happy to spend hours of their time watching Love Island, TOWIE and all kinds of crap. Obviously gamers who prioritise gaming over their family responsibilities are arses, but that goes for any hobby. Indeed, the hobby that seems to get the most MN flak in that regard is cycling - a 'wholesome and worthwhile' hobby.

TheHeraldOfAndraste · 07/08/2017 14:19

Whats your favourite CoD Governor? I'm really looking forward to WWII. I was a bit disappointed in IW.

FuckOffDavid · 07/08/2017 14:19

Me and DP are both gamers. DP is desperately trying to get me into Warhammer so I can play with him but I'm resisting due to the cost. We go out with the kids at the weekends and during school holidays and we all play Pokemon go together. We love it and are both childish as fuck.

gillybeanz · 07/08/2017 14:23

I find it very childish as children play games.
I couldn't be involved with a man who played games because I find it immature and lacking in imagination of things to do with your life.

It's up to others what they do and everyone is entitled to do what they want.
I do think there is a negative stereotype of a man who hasn't grown up and puts playing with toys and games above his family, but all gamers aren't like this.

It's just an opinion at the end of the day, something we are all entitled to especially on here.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 07/08/2017 14:24

there doesn't seem to me to be much of a way to pretend that shouting abuse at a 14 year old french lad over a head mic on Call of Duty 4 isnt a bit sad

That's what the "mute" setting is for Grin I have no desire to hear a twelve year old shouting "pussy" when I shoot him in the face at close range with a shotgun.

Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 14:25

TheHeraldOfAndraste - I am looking forward to WWII got it in pre order.

I disliked AW and IW. The last COD i enjoyed was ghosts and black ops and MW3.

TheHeraldOfAndraste · 07/08/2017 14:27

Oooh me too. I have the private beta on preorder. (Ditto the new Battlefront and AC Origins. And Uncharted: the lost legacy).

Im with you on BO and MW being the best. IW and AW are very lacklustre entries.

Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 14:31

Me and my DP are looking forward to WWII as it's going back to basics and not trying to be halo.
I love the A.C. Series. AC 2 was the best of the series with AC black flag being second best

Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 14:33

I don't get gaming. At all. I buy the idea that one day a game could come along that was great art, and that the form has potential. But I do NOT buy that Call of Duty or World of Warcraft or Elves and Pixies Fighting in the Trees, or whatever, are remotely on that level. It's like those people who say they love books and then it turns out all they read are 5,000 volume long series of fantasy in which some boring burly twat with a beard and a sword goes around some awful cliche of a world belly-laughing and calling women 'wenches'.

Havenamewillchange · 07/08/2017 14:36

I absolutely love gaming, I prefer RPG's. It might sound strange to some, but gaming has helped me through some truly difficult times in my life. To be able to immerse myself in a fantasy world for a couple of hours a night and just be someone else, it's amazing.

TheHeraldOfAndraste · 07/08/2017 14:37

AC I'm totally devoted to. To the point of cosplay and fanfiction writing. Just a beautiful series of games.

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 14:37

It's like those people who say they love books and then it turns out all they read are 5,000 volume long series of fantasy

Not sure what would be wrong with that either.

I must admit I don't get why people need to get other people's hobbies.

Oh and check The Last of Us. It was incredible

StormTreader · 07/08/2017 14:38

"I don't get gaming. At all. I buy the idea that one day a game could come along that was great art, and that the form has potential. But I do NOT buy that Call of Duty or World of Warcraft or Elves and Pixies Fighting in the Trees, or whatever, are remotely on that level. It's like those people who say they love books and then it turns out all they read are 5,000 volume long series of fantasy in which some boring burly twat with a beard and a sword goes around some awful cliche of a world belly-laughing and calling women 'wenches'."

This is me, and I dont for a second feel the slightest twinge of regret. What kind of books are you reading that are so much more laudable than the ones that I read? No doubt I would hate them and be baffled and horrified at the thought of you spending so much time reading what I would probably regard as mind-bendingly dull or lacking in content or just trashy. You have probably watched and loved a film that I hated or cringed at. That doesnt make either of us better than the other though.

Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 14:41

I also love fallout series aswel. I love all my FF series and KH series. Me and DP love a game called 7days to die.

YouTheCat · 07/08/2017 14:42

Exactly, StormTreader.

There are plenty of things I don't 'get' that other people enjoy. Why come onto a thread, full of gamers and be so dismissive of what they play and read?

Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 14:45

I just find it a childish taste, to the point I don't actually understand it. The same as I would find an adult who wanted to eat nothing but Haribo a bit peculiar. Does that make me a better person than they are in a rounded sense? Absolutely not.

One of my best friends loves fantasy books, and she's a way better person than I will ever be. Though I love her to bits, I still think her taste in books is shit. Grin

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 14:48

The same as I would find an adult who wanted to eat nothing but Haribo a bit peculiar

An adult who wanted to eat nothing but Haribo or an adult who would do nothing but game* would be childish.

*insert any hobby

An adult who eats the odd packet of haribo as part of a balanced diet. Or an adult who games as a hobby isn't.