Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

216 replies

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 16:55

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

OP posts:
Toysaurus · 06/08/2017 17:28

YANBU. Me and the children love a hour or so together on Roblox. And the last games console I think I owned before then was a ZX Spectrum in the 80s. We go to opera and ballet when we can afford to and the children have loads of hobbies like drama and music. So yes, it's a cunty lazy thing to say to posters.

InfiniteSheldon · 06/08/2017 17:28

I am a gamer female mid fifties grandmother I was called a man child on mn

InfiniteSheldon · 06/08/2017 17:29

Grin oops posted too soon I just think mn is increasingly an outlet for the nastiness people are too embarrassed to exhibit in real life

YouTheCat · 06/08/2017 17:30

My kids are grown up. Dp and I met playing WoW. I don't play anymore because I haven't really got the time other than dipping in occasionally. I do play other, less intense, games.

People who judge others for their hobbies, tattoos and other things that have no effect on them are sad buggers. I wouldn't judge someone who liked to knit or spent their free time cycling so why should their view of my hobbies be valid?

OverTheHammer · 06/08/2017 17:32

I love gaming! I'm a sims 4 addict and love playing out my stories with my little virtual people 😂

I also love the GTA franchise (shhh!) and have just asked DH to get me GTA5 again, not played it for ages!

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 17:34

InfiniteSheldon That's fab - I'll be the same. I'm mid 30s and been gaming since I was old enough to turn on an Amstrad! I do think you're right about the keyboard warriors though.

I think I'm quite well rounded. I read, I craft and paint, I'm relatively cultured and I'm a teacher. I actually find that as a gamer, I can really easily strike a rapport with children. Some of those with behavioral issues love the fact that I game and it's an excellent starting point.

OP posts:
Maidofastolat30744 · 06/08/2017 17:35

I agree OP. All hobbies have the potential to take over the persons life if they allow it.

My husband fires steam engines, this can involve him being out all day from 8am to 8pm, assuming no delays etc.

I have had to have stern words about him booking lots of turns when it is the school holidays otherwise he would do it on every day off he could!

As long as the hobby isn't harming anyone else then what harm is it?

PolarisStar · 06/08/2017 17:36

Oh god I forgot about Sims! Yeah I could play that for days straight if I didn't have a job or have to eat and sleep Wink

Toysaurus · 06/08/2017 17:36

Huffletuff that's so true. When I was a Sen ta I could chat about games, YouTubers and all sorts of things the children could relate to. Was a really important tool actually.

DressedCrab · 06/08/2017 17:41

I don't see it as a problem as long as it comes second to family life. Those who game obsessively to the detriment of their relationships do need to grow up. Just as those who obsessively cycle or play football, golf etc do.

Adults don't put hobbies in front of their families.

Agustarella · 06/08/2017 17:46

YANBU. I used to look down on computer gamers, and particularly those strange people who do those role play board games where they all dress up as Gandalf or vikings or whatever. Since then, my son has educated me somewhat on the creativity that goes into making games, and they have certainly exerted a beneficial influence on his ideas about music and fashion! I still don't 'get' the appeal of computer games - the last one I played was on an Amstrad, circa 1986 - but there's obviously more to them than I realised. Probably better for youngsters than watching drivelly Hollywood films or reading pop fiction.

YouTheCat · 06/08/2017 17:49

Yes, but people are being judged just for playing in the first place. It's not just people saying 'gaming all the time is bad', it's people saying 'playing games at all means you're juvenile' - which is utter horseshit.

I'm a Sims3 player now as I bought loads of the expansions on Steam when they were 75% off --and I like using the motherlode cheat codes . I'm on holiday. I'm planning on bunging a chilli on and a film and then building my little family (had 3 boys in a row, so trying for a girl).

YouTheCat · 06/08/2017 17:50

Also table top gaming is amazing. Very good for promoting logical thought, etc.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 06/08/2017 17:51

No hobby should detract from family life.

The problem is the people who call any adult gamer a "man child" or insinuate that gaming is bad because it's a waste of time. Aren't all hobbies basically an enjoyable way to waste time?

CigarsofthePharoahs · 06/08/2017 17:51

I am currently enjoying playing Minecraft, though I only play offline or over the LAN with my son! Its very easy to pause it to do something else and then head back in.
I haven't got into the latest fallout game, I'd find that quite hard to stop playing!
As others have said, as long as its not taking over everything then its just a hobby.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2017 17:54

had 3 boys in a row, so trying for a girl

Totally expecting someone to come along and say how unreasonable you are, and what is wrong with only having boys Grin

BeyondThePage · 06/08/2017 17:56

DH is a gamer, I'm a crafter,

we can sit together in the living room in companionable silence both indulging ourselves with our hobbies whilst actually spending time together.

It's lovely.

Nancy91 · 06/08/2017 17:56

Does anyone else create a new family of sims every time they sit down to play it? I just can't commit and I love using cheats for money so I can design a new house every time.

caffeinestream · 06/08/2017 17:58

Yeah, I don't get it either.

There are MNer's who post on most threads and who are active most days, and that's fine, but gaming on the other hand is vilified, even though it's essentially the same thing, isn't it? A hobby that involves talking to other people on the internet. In fact, you could argue that gaming is more productive in that you do have to think, strategise, plan ahead etc.

But I think it's an easy stereotype. It's not a hobby that's "good for you" in the sense that you're not exercising, and it's often associated with junk food, late nights and groups of men all playing together on screens.

I can think of worse, more time-consuming hobbies!

nocoolnamesleft · 06/08/2017 18:00

I cannot understand why any adult would be involved in gaming.

Um, you're not counting Civ as gaming are you? Blush

CockacidalManiac · 06/08/2017 18:01

Um, you're not counting Civ as gaming are you?

I remember losing entire weekends to Civ.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 18:02

Does anyone else create a new family of sims every time they sit down to play it? I just can't commit and I love using cheats for money so I can design a new house every time.

My wife tends to do this without the money cheat though, she's spent several thousand hours playing The Sims 3 according to Steam.

Flowersandfootballs · 06/08/2017 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HadronCollider · 06/08/2017 18:07

I'm a Zelda nut. DP sits on the sofa watching me play and calling out instructions that get me killed. Is it childish? A bit. I realised I was trying to get more shrines completed before destroying Gannon than DS 15 which is pathetic really. But the competition is strong.

So yeah I think people do have a point about Adult gamers being a bit childish. But I take it as a compliment. To me it means I'm not wholly jaded with life and can still feel the wonderment and creativity I used to feel when younger. So bring on the criticism.

RubaDubMum89 · 06/08/2017 18:14

Before DD came along I used to game loads and loads, I've been a gamer since I was a kiddy. Now she's here it's harder, but, once she's asleep and DPs plonked in front of the telly, what's the harm in whipping out my laptop and playing a game?