AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

[Huffletuff]

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

5foot5
I think you're right about people trying to prove how grown up they are. Its often accompanied with claims of 'not having time for things like that' because they're so busy with children, cleaning, errands, family time etc.

I know this is judgey and I'm being a hypocrite here, but people who are scornful of people's hobbies always strike me as a bit dull and probably only read magazines, watch TV, shop and sit on social media.

I think gaming also generally has a good cost to leisure time achieved ratio, I paid about £15 for a game that was on sale it's cost me pence per hour in the long run, obviously you have the cost of the console itself but when you factor in the hours of play between games that's pence also

putitonyourpancake I'm a lotro player!! Of many years! It's mostly the only thing I play! Am on the Landroval server!!

He started calling me "The Librarian" and making snide remarks. I couldn't help but laugh at that Hygge Not at you. At him. Hilarious!

What a prize twat!

bold type fail.

At least he's given someone a laugh Hadron.

He's come in useful for something after all this time

Dh is a gamer, both on a console, board games and roll play. He and his friends are fairly far flung across the uk and meet once a week on Skype to roll play. They usually have two or three games running at a time and take it week about to run their respective games, dh enjoys the games and there's a social aspect too. They also try to get together once a year to play board games and catch up face to face. It's not my cup of tea, so I enjoy an evening to please myself and watch TV that dh wouldn't enjoy.

Dh has also got me started playing some games on the PlayStation, and before we met I didn't own a games console. I didn't really enjoy video games as a child and generally found them too frustrating. He has introduced me to games I enjoy and it was a pleasant surprise to find games I can play at my own pace and get pleasure from. We have different play styles for games such as No Man's Sky and Skyrim, where I play on the easiest settings and enjoy pottering about and exploring, dh plays to progress through the game. We play some games together and we're looking forward to stardew valley becoming a multi player game as we can play that together.

We have shared interests and do other things together that don't involve gaming, but dh has enjoyed introducing me to games and helping me find things we can play together. The other aspects such as the roll play and board gaming are also his way of socialing and relaxing and think it's healthy for us to also have things we enjoy doing without the other.

People who judge other people's hobbies obviously have too much time on their hands.

DH is a gamer, him and DS have been playing the Lego Movie game together and it's lovely. According to DH I'll only play games I've already played, which basically means I play the Deus Ex games a lot. Way back when in the days of the BBC Micro I was pretty hard to beat on Chuckie Egg.

This thread is making me jealous! I'm having an RSI flare-up (not caused by gaming but my old job) so can't play Firewatch which I was waiting until the summer holidays to do!

Oh my gosh, Chuckie Egg was amazing

I'm playing Thimbleweed Park at the moment. It's an old school point and click Adventure Game (think Monkey Island) but made recently and I'm very much enjoying it!

Ancient gamer her too.
Used to do RPG back in the day, AD&D, Rolemaster etc was great fun, loads of laughs and social.

I used to play loads on PC Starcraft (just got it on trial to try the new one) Diablo, Quake etc. I also lost weekends to CIV

Now on xbox I dont play so much, I tend to binge play, but have a kickass Skyrim character who could buy and sell the whole of Skyrim thrice over When we get an Xbox 1 will be getting skyrim online version, look out!

Play with the kids sometimes too, Wii fit and COD deathmatches are fun.
Am currently obsessing over TWD No Mans Land on phone when I have time to sit down with a cuppa

I really get the pip with the stereotype slagging off of gamers on here (and elsewhere) The very mention that someone games sends people into a frenzy of "You are a mother/father, you are abusing your kids by not paying them attention 24/7" "Why would you want to do that, its destroying your brain, its encouraging violence, how dare you stay up after 12pm and not go to bed"? (Written by people on an internet forum at 12.10am usually ) I think I have heard it all. And its alwasy worse if its a female being talked about, something about mothers should feel guilty for enjoying something not 'motherly', not 'girly' yadda yadda.

Not everyone is 'juvenile', ignorant or ignoring their spouses or kids, sitting eating junk food and peeing in bottles for hours on end.

Just cos its not outside doesnt mean its 'bad'. Artists spend hours in their studios, crafters too whats the difference?

I think people could say that with other hobbies like sewing say (coincidently my other hobby) you have something palpable at the end. I quilt, and at least you can see where some of the time went (nobody sees the empty time fixing wrongs, ripping out an hours worth of sewing) but I have to admit I have lost hours and hours on a game, but can't demonstrate where that time has gone, unless I'm online kicking someone's arse on supermario smash bros.

Also I think adult gamers aren't as frequent to come across IRL, so if you spend 2 hours watching a film or a drama, say game of thrones for example, you'll easily meet someone, could be a complete stranger who'll also have watched it and can converse about it. There's not a category of 'filmer' majority of people watch movies, whether they're buffs or not. So film watching can be seen as having more social capital.

Whereas gaming it's a bit of an isolsted topic unless you're with a select group of other gamers. Thus easier to ridicule.

Hygge

You are totally and utterly reasonable and others before me have explained why.
Game on

Gaming is fine.

Funny how the snobbery comes from a lot of people who are, whoops, online also

Just logged off FFXIV both myself and my OH play. The normies of mumsnet just dont understand

It really irritates me when people call gaming addictive yet have half a bottle of wine nightly or go out drinking every weekend. It's not really specific to drinking, but it's more the commentary that gaming is dangerous and encourages dangerous behaviours - but drinking is completely socially acceptable and if you don't drink, you're "weird" or "unsociable".

I just don't like loud, noisy pubs where I have to pay out the ass for a glass of lemonade and being around drunk people makes me ridiculously nervous, so I don't bother. it doesn't mean I literally never leave the house because I'd rather game.

Also, bothers me a lot when people (sometimes other gamers!) get at me for liking Splatoon or other colourful "kids" games. Splatoon 2 is one of my biggest time drains right now - just one more game

FaceOnOff Hope your RSI improves soon so you can play Firewatch. Stunning game!

Adults gaming near me drives me absolutely mad. My brother does this all the time and he only half listens to you when you talk and I can hear endless clicking. Anything you ask him 'can be done in a bit when he's ready'. My husband also had a few friends we used to be close with but arnt anymore because of choosing to do gaming in their spare time. I hate it!!!

Hapaxlegomenon I agree. Thankfully my husband had stopped gaming by the time he met me! Otherwise I never would have dated him.

Also I think adult gamers aren't as frequent to come across IRL
Yes and no. Around half of the UK population play games (and for young adults, an overwhelming majority).

However, not everyone who plays games will readily call themselves a 'gamer'.

hapax why would you ask someone to do something when they are already doing something else? And then expect them to drop what they are doing for you?

I read, paint, game, run. All solitary pursuits because I use a lot of my social energy at work and need to recharge. I do this around other pursuits/duties and haven't spent enough time doing it lately. I'm starting to get angsty.

But I wouldn't ask you to do something in the middle of a film. Well I might ask (rude sure, but might be the only time I see you) but I wouldn't expect you to stop what you were doing to do it. Nor if you were in the middle of chatting to friends, or sewing, or golfing, or mowing the lawn. So why are you interrupting your brother?

It does seem to come back to what a previous poster put about attention. You can't stand that they are there physically but not giving you attention.

If they are incapable of taking part in family life because of gaming all hours. That is as harmful as the cyclists, footballers, clubbers, workaholics, crofters, diyers etc who neglect their other duties. It is not unique to gamers.

I'm sad that your husband has lost close friends because they chose to game in their spare time and you hate it. Ffs what does their spare time activities have anything to do with you? I'm actually appalled at this. Close friends? My dp does not get to choose my friends for me.

What do you spend your time doing?

Thankfully my husband had stopped gaming by the time he met me!

Good job he was finished having fun if he wanted to be stuck with you.

Hapaxlegomenon - you sound like a real princess.