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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

216 replies

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 16:55

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 07/08/2017 14:49

If someone ate nothing but Haribo then that'd make them incredibly stupid.

Why is it childish? I wasn't into fantasy and gaming until I was an adult.

Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 14:54

Exactly, and I'd argue a balanced diet, when it comes to books, is about reading biography, history, great novels, philosophy, social science, theory, politics etc. etc. etc. If someone said "I like the odd trashy fantasy" I would get it. It's the 5000-novels-with-the-same-bad-characters-in-a-series, combined with what is often quite a restricted pattern of reading by genre alone, that I don't understand. I am very much speaking personally here, not making any wider judgements than my own way of thinking. I can't actually see how you can really understand some fantasy novels without that wider reading, to be honest.

TheHeraldOfAndraste · 07/08/2017 15:00

Why do non gamers assume that gamers do absolutely nothing other than gaming?

We aren't peculiar, basement dwelling, antisocial fuckwits that aren't capable of doing anything else. Hmm

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 15:04

Right bemused so why can't you apply that logic (which I agree with) to gaming.

Why the assumption that because someone enjoys games they're one dimensional with no other interests?

Littlepleasures · 07/08/2017 15:10

My adult ds's love of gaming led to a successful career in the IT industry.. His degree was in a totally different area but got a job testing games after uni and was self taught from there, moving into systems admin eventually.
I do agree, the sight of an adult holed up in a dark room for a whole day staring at a screen is a bit worrying, but that's the extreme and a sign of mh issues surely. I would think that gaming, as we age, keeps the old brain cells firing.

StormTreader · 07/08/2017 15:19

Its interesting that you keep saying "the odd trashy fantasy" like its some kind of shameful junkfood habit. You know that books like "Lord of the Rings" fit into your "5000 word fantasy shame list" but are regarded as great works of literature, yes?

MaisyPops · 07/08/2017 15:26

storm
There's fantasy and then there's decent fantasy. Some is great. Others are just 'how many dwarves, elves etc can we put into a book with a magical villain and a plot with the depth of a puddle'

It's a bit like there's half decent erotic fiction and then there's 50 shades and all the zillions of 50 shades knock offs.

TheHeraldOfAndraste · 07/08/2017 15:26

storm and the Gormenghast trilogy, or Terry Pratchetts works? Or possibly the now very mainstream and beloved GoT?

Governoress86 · 07/08/2017 15:30

TheHeraldOfAndraste can't forget The Walking Dead

YouTheCat · 07/08/2017 15:33

It sounds hideously boring. I read about things because I'm interested in the subject matter and not because it is somehow thought more worthy to read other books. Just from where I'm sitting, I can see at least 20/30 classic works of literature. There's a fair few books about WW2 and the holocaust. On the next bookcase along, there's Pratchett, Rowling, Martin, Herbert, Tolkien, poetry.

Just as most gamers aren't holed up in a basement only playing games, they are also usually not limited in what they read. My dp games a lot more than I do. He also holds down a responsible full time job and reads much more widely than I do.

StormTreader · 07/08/2017 15:37

"There's fantasy and then there's decent fantasy. Some is great. Others are just 'how many dwarves, elves etc can we put into a book with a magical villain and a plot with the depth of a puddle' "

I'm interested to know how you know that - I doubt youve read many since you hate them so much? Or is this a comfortable "well, everyone knows that"?

And yes, Gormenghast is really excellent and GoT is a great TV show (I found the books a little sparse in setting and colour TBH although their main strength is characters and plot of course!)

Theresnonamesleft · 07/08/2017 15:38

Last of us was awesome.
40 something old gamer, female single parent here. Own countless consoles. Also have a job and have other hobbies. Could possibly be seen as your geek - glasses, hoodies and no tan. No tam because have you seen the weather? Plus I dont tan, even tried fake tans and my skin just absorbs it Grin

I have also used gaming at work. I am a ta and students will have in-depth conversations with me. Seeing them talking passionately about something they actually enjoy and how this got them into coding, which they hope will lead somewhere.
I've also used minecraft to talk to a student who wouldn't really communicate with anyone. But we knew from parents he enjoyed minecraft and trains. Prior to minecraft other things had been tried. Now he talks to his peers, other staff members and occasionally talks to visitors.

Bemusedandpuzzled · 07/08/2017 15:57

"You know that books like "Lord of the Rings" fit into your "5000 word fantasy shame list" but are regarded as great works of literature, yes?"

No, I'm afraid I don't know that. LoTR tops polls for popularity, certainly, and - like Harry Potter - has brought a world of pleasure to loads of people, and those are great things in their own right. But it would be difficult to find someone from the school who believe in a classic canon of books stretching forward from Homer who would hold up Tolkien as a shining example of English prose. The Harold Blooms of this world are even sniffier about it than I am Smile

YouTheCat · 07/08/2017 16:01

Why not? My English teacher studied Anglo Saxon literature under Tolkien and regarded him and his works very highly.

MaisyPops · 07/08/2017 16:18

I'm interested to know how you know that - I doubt youve read many since you hate them so much? Or is this a comfortable "well, everyone knows that"?
I've not said I hate them so not entirely sure where the disparaging 'you've clearly never read any' comes from. It feels a little defensive.

I've stated that there's some decent fantasy books and there's some shite fantasy books. Hardly controversial. Feel free to tell me that I'm wrong and there's no fantasy books out there that stick the same clichés together for a quick and easy read and a quick quid.

It's like when Sophie Kinsella was quite popular, suddenly there was loads of rubbish 'versions of' that were exceptionally mundane. Same when 50 shades came out, death by black covered books with similar features and zero depth (not that 50 shades was particularly well written). Young adult fiction went through a phase of having an explosion of badly written twilight-esque trash.

So when people talk about reading a 'trashy fantasy' (which you objected to another poster saying), it is entirely justifiable to have trashy fantasy books, just like trashy knock offs of any type of book.

YouTheCat · 07/08/2017 16:20

A chimp with a dictionary could have written 50 Shades. I read a few Kinsella's and went through a phase with that sort of book, every single one was crap but it was what I needed to read at the time.

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 16:20

I cannot imagine the effort it takes to be so sneery about the choices people make for fun.

I can't help but think it serves no other purpose than to make one feel comfortably smug and superior.

I have read 250 books so far this year. Pretty much any genre you can think of. I am currently reading a series of US teen fiction.

MaisyPops · 07/08/2017 16:32

youthecat
Agree on 50 shades. Still read the whole trashy trilogy! 😂

jaques I'm not sneering people's choice of book. I was just saying that people saying they're reading a trashy fantasy book is just as plausible as any other trashy book from any other genre.

There are some great fantasy books and there's some that are poorly written and cliched, just like romance, science fiction.

I've read my fair share of trashy books, they're still trashy. I'm not sneering at my own choices, fact is some books are dull and cliched.

JacquesHammer · 07/08/2017 16:40

Maisy I know you're not Smile

I agree with you - there are trashy books in every genre, but they're not trashy BECAUSE of their genre

BillywigSting · 07/08/2017 16:40

Yanb at all u op!

Gaming is how dp and I met, when ds (loves 'playing' Mario with his dad) goes to bed we fire up the consoles and play a bit of streets of rage or final fantasy, marvel ultimate heroes. Whatever takes our fancy.

We're both professionals with friends and tans too.

We co op and compete with each other. It's great bonding!

MaisyPops · 07/08/2017 16:44

Jacques
Ah right, i thought the sneers comment as a reply to me, 😀

Agree. Books aren't trashy because of their genre, but trashy rubbish versions exist in all genres.

StormTreader · 07/08/2017 16:52

MaisyPops Apologies! I got my posters mixed up! Flowers

MaisyPops · 07/08/2017 16:54

No worries storm.
That makes more sense. I was a little 'huh?!' 😀💐

JustAnotherPoster00 · 07/08/2017 17:38

If it wasnt for my love of The Long Dark there is no way I'd be able to survive the apocalypse (Brexit) so I'm ready to go with my tin of dog food, improvised knife and a bedroll Grin

Kerantli · 07/08/2017 22:36

@JustAnotherPoster00 - Just don't underestimate those wolves, they may get you through crates Wink

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