AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

[Huffletuff]

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

JacquesHammer, it's the only time I've ever experienced 'gender disappointment' being as, in rl, I have b/g twins and so can't complain really.

This poor woman is just going to have to keep going until she has a girl, or twins, or something. Once the kids get to childhood, I pack them off to boarding school. I am an awful person.

Another point; IMHO it's also ableist. When I was much younger and played tabletop games, a lot of teenagers played that were then labelled as 'odd' and would now be recognised as having special needs. They played these games in an inclusive and accepting atmosphere that allowed them to express themselves in an imaginative way.
This tendency to still label gamers as 'weird' and 'nerdy' is more rooted in 1970s and 1980s playground behaviour than people would like to think.

Weird and nerdy and proud.

I agree! I am a sporadic gamer... ie go through phases with it. Not a wide range of games compared to most, but have lvl cap chars on LOTRO and WoW. It's really fun escapism and not really any different from reading as long as you don't allow it to take over your life and get addictive...

YoutheCat

Aw one of each. Aren't you clever

Gaming is serious business. My husband gave me a choice of continuing to play WoW or remaining married. No contest! I don't miss him a bit.

I married a gamer. Very dextrous fingers I've found

My 16yo DD were talking about how long we have been gaming together. We realised that it was World of Warcraft that had been the real motivation to learn to read when she was little! She wanted to do some of the quests herself but kept having to ask me to read them. Don't worry, she only got to go in the low level zones when she was little but did once, in front of a friend, ask me "if we can go and kill something when we get home?" I did get a funny look from that one.

58 yr old gamer here - tabletop RPG once or twice a month, Path of Exile (online game) current obsession, Sims 4 when I need to calm down from slaughtering things in PoE, and Guild of Heroes on my tablet - check it most mornings for the daily check-in bonus, and sometimes adventure before breakfast :)

Currently living in a different country from DH, so it's nice to be able to meet up in game and kill things together :)

Any other LOTROers on here?

DH and I are both gamers, so are our kids. We play the Lego series of games together as a family
We also do other things like days out and park visits so it's not all gaming.

Over 60s gamer here. No one has ever called me immature 😎

I'm with you OP. DH is a gamer and is on his Xbox most days - but it doesn't interfere with our family or our time together. I see no difference between his interest in gaming and my interest in reading.

I think the problem can be that gaming can take up a lot of time, it can be almost addictive, which leads some gamers to choose gaming over spending time with their family

A bit like those who are on mumsnet all day every day you mean? How many kids get ignored while their mothers are bouncing from thread to thread? Then they slag off something they don't understand because of a stereotype.

I agree with you.

The world would be boring if everybody did the same thing.

I'm not a gamer, but we're all here looking at a screen aren't we?

I am a reader though and some people do actually seem to resent that. One man I met really did not like the fact that I was happy to read in my own company. We were on a three day training course and in the breaks and lunch time I would read my book. He started calling me "The Librarian" and making snide remarks.

I'm too old to get upset over something like that though, so instead of arguing the toss I just made sure I got the top score in the test at the end, completely kicked his arse off the chart, and then suggested he'd have done better if he read a book once in a while. Then I left, early, because I got the top score and so didn't have to repeat the test. Unlike some.

Anyway, back on the topic, YANBU OP to think that if your hobby isn't hurting anyone else then they just need to keep their opinion to themselves.

I have a friend who used to get teased for liking rugby and bird watching, another who wouldn't admit to ever going to the theatre as her group was more about the nightclubs, and DH won't talk about music at work because he likes a variety of stuff and he says he'd get laughed at.

All of them, and me, and so many other people I know, have been called boring for liking things that the majority of people have little interest in. But seriously, who are the boring ones? The people who like what they like, just because they like it, or the people who only like what everybody else likes?

Any other LOTROers on here?

Tried it, but it didn't reflect how I imagined the word of LOTR. I preferred WOW.

Dh is a gamer - it's his down time. I'm not really interested but watched the goodwife while he played. Him and some mates get together once a year and spend the day playing a football game on the PS4, tournament style. It's a really social day. Dh is 37, intelligent with a degree and senior level in his career.

There's a lot of snobbery about gaming. We have 3 dds and they play together on the Xbox or Wii (PS4 is kept in our bedroom as we stream Netflix through it). When dds play they chat and interact lots. In my eyes it's similar to them playing a board game except I don't have to hunt for the stupid dice.

Furry, is Path of Exile any good then? Do you think an ex wow player would be into it?

YANBU.

Some people have very set ideas about what counts as an "acceptable" pastime for adults.

Nothing wrong with gaming at all. Provided of course that gaming doesn't take over the rest of someone's life, but that's the same with any other hobby.

I game. Pretty regular but my family life comes first. If wife wants to watch soaps or take the kids out so I can get a bit of peace I will play ps4. But if wife wants peace in the day if we're both off work then I'll take kids out for a hour to play.

I work shifts so I try to get 2 evenings every other week on the ps4 and when the kids finally go to school in September I will be "gaming" then around the housework. I've grown up playing games with friends, it's the new thing, our dads played darts, pool dominos etc, just. New generation thing.

YANBU. I used to game a lot; have less free time now but my partner and I will usually find a small window of time to play a game together on most days. It feels more like a shared activity compared to just sitting in front of the TV or Netflix.

My 90 year old grandmother is something of a gamer too

Dp and I are playing Horizon Zero dawn right now. We switch over when the other one dies. Lovely way to spend an evening together.

There's negative stereotypes for many interests that aren't shared by a majority.

My hobbies are dancing, acting and singing - many assume I'm an airy fairy luvvie (this may be partially true )

My sister's hobby is rugby - many assume she's a butch, beer drinking Neanderthal (she's also into fashion, prosecco and luxury travel so not so much!)

I suppose many assume gamers to be geeks, especially those that do role play type stuff. I guess some are, some aren't.

Gaming is something I know literally nothing about (wasn't even allowed a sega megadrive as a child - tiny violins please!) but I admit I do have vaguely and inexplicably negative feelings about it. Which I shouldn't because I'm ignorant. So YANBU.

YANBU but I have noticed this sort of disdain is not just reserved for gaming. I have seen accusations of "man-child" used for other hobbies some knitters perceive as childish, e.g. model railways, RC cars or planes, Lego and even jigsaws.

My theory is that the people who are so scornful of these hobbies are probably slightly lacking in confidence themselves and are trying to prove how "grown up" they are by ridiculing others who are perfectly happy to admit to doing something they enjoy.

Argh that should be mnetters not knitters. Bloody autocorrect. I have nothing against knitters although I prefer crochet myself!