AIBU in wanting people to leave off Adult Gamers?

[Huffletuff]

Following on from a couple of threads recently, people have expressed their distaste for adults that play games. There have been names thrown around such as "man-child" and insults such as immature and childish.

AIBU in thinking that gaming is actually a pretty awesome hobby to have? People read and watch movies and nothing derogatory is said. Gaming involves reading, similar-to-movie story and experiential play, like actually participating in a film.

In tabletop and role-playing gaming such as D&D, imagination is key and experiences are social too, same as a lot of online computer games.

It's harmless, fun, sometimes educational, works the brain and is brilliant for coordination skills. DH and I are avid gamers. We both have consoles and DS very much enjoys them too. Certainly hasn't done him any harm, in fact it's helped his reading and reasoning skills no end.

What I don't understand the most is that people have derogatory things to say about something they either have never experienced, or do not enjoy themselves. Why would somebody slate a hobby that other people clearly enjoy? It's just a nasty thing to do, especially if it has no effect on them.

Also, as a lot of games are rated 18+ and a lot of tabletop and RPGs are quite complicated, they certainly aren't for children anyway.

Utterly bizarre.

Furry, is Path of Exile any good then? Do you think an ex wow player would be into it?

I love it - only discovered it in May and have been playing ever since. Unlike many 'free' games, this is actually free to play, the only options for spending money are for cosmetic enhancements and stash (inventory) space - easy to play without paying anything at all.

I am an ex-WoW player (couldn't devote enough time to be any good at raiding), and an ex LOTRO player (got fed up with the grind, or farming and cooking alone). PoE does offer opportunities for partying up, and it has a guild system, but the main focus (for me, anyway) is the crafting system, which is the backbone of in-game currency - not that I've traded at all yet. It's complex enough to keep me interested, as is the massive skill tree.

Just this past weekend, an additional 6 'acts' were added to the game - so loads of new content to explore. Graphically, it's similar to Diablo 3 - nothing like as immersive as WoW or LOTRO, but not cartoony either. Well worth trying out, as it's free!

Ee, I went off on a right froth there, didn't I? Ah well, that's how much I like the game!

I used to game heavily when younger, Eve online and WOW were huge time sinks. With a young family and a career it all rightly took a back seat.

My youngest DS started playing Pokemon card game, which we play socially now, It was great for his maths and reading skills. We also enjoy a family game of Catan Jnr which gets really ruthless!

My circle of friends are quite into tabletop gaming too and its really social. We get the odd comment, normally from those who moan every year how crap Xfactor or Big Brother is.

It is very social - I'm not a gamer myself but dh is and we know several couples who met playing wow etc.

I an totally fine with him gaming. It's what he does in his free time to relax. I see the appeal - it's fun, clever, strategic, thoughtful etc. I sew and knit in my free time, that's arguably way more antisocial . The key is doing it in your spare time - if it's taking over (just like any hobby) then there's an issue.

I'm not a gamer but my dp is.

He's a wonderful partner and dad to our 3dc. He works more than full time, he gets home and does his share of child wrangling, cleaning and cooking. When we are all in bed he takes the baby monitor with him and plays games for an while. I can't for the life of me see why anyone would have a problem with that.

YANBU. I'm not a gamer myself however, firmly believe in let & let live. Can't see how gaming is any worse than watching back to back box sets on Netflix.

Been a gamer all my life from board games to online and still do. Off in a min to play online on my day off! I have my own home, work and do other things.

Blokes are amazed when I discuss games with them and made many a male mate from my hobby.

Ppl who look down on us gamers on MN can go do one imo. They are most likely on mn as much as ppl play games!

Gaming's just another hobby. It can be great. I am tragically afflicted with motion sickness that means I can't play first person shooters :( so I have to be happy with stuff like The Sims and Tropico. Last year I played Dungeon Keeper through again and realised the narrator was the same actor who plays Daddy Pig. I think some non-gamers are not terribly aware of their own need for play and how they fulfill that need. Humans like to play in their downtime. It's relaxing, satisfying, it exercises our imagination, and most of us do it even if only by daydreaming or doing a crossword.

I think gamers can be inconsiderate about how much time they let it take up, but so can other hobbyists, as lots of PP have said.

I have sometimes noticed a dynamic, though, where the gamer and/or their family think the gamer is more available to watch kids etc. than they really are. I had to have words with DH when DD was first born, because he would continually play something that couldn't be paused. In his head, he was around and available whenever I needed help, and the game was just filling in the gaps. In practise, he was usually 10-15 minutes away from being able to stop, and a crying newborn won't wait that long, so I was the one doing everything. He'd turn up when it was convenient to him, but that was always too late. We had to block out gaming time as 'him' time, and he had to recognise he couldn't just start a game whenever he felt like it and still consider that he'd been around for his family.

The thing I've found is that some people equate gaming with violence and fighting against other players. Yes there are plenty of fighty games but many many others. On a typical day I may log onto FFXIV and craft several items to sell to people, maybe if I don't have enough yarn I'll teleport to a high level area and jump on my giant chocobo or dragon and gather materials for a while. If I run dungeons or hunt for mobs I'm against just in game enemies not other humans. If I'm not playing that I'm in minecraft, No Man's Sky, Skyrim. Not getting sweaty against people. It's a stereotype, as seen in big bang theory and south park and loads of other places, an overweight sweaty nerd with no social skills hiding in mum's basement from real life.

Also as someone with disabilities with difficulties getting out, gaming has saved my sanity. I watch friends streaming games on Twitch, I play in a fireteam. Most of my friends I've met through gaming, through the social aspects. When my illness got to the point of keeping me housebound everyone just dropped away so now I mainly know people online. I play with young mums, teens, people in their 60s, married, singles- people who stream playing games for a living and people who jump on for an hour a week. One of my friends streams on Twitch as their entire job and just bought a house from it!

I had to move due to my health and sadly can no longer stream myself but if ever I get better net here I will be. Something great about playing a single player game like sims but having an audience of up to 100 people watching and interacting.

Furry, I might give it a go then as I'm on holiday.

I miss WoW. I used to love raid night and doing my dailies. I just can't justify 8.99 a month to dip in occasionally though. I stopped last year but had been playing for 8 years, so pre-Lich King.

I used to love PVP in wow. Did arenas with a friend of mine. Last major achievement in WoW was getting my legendary cloak. Was sick of raids by the end of it.

Me and DP are gamers. We only play on our ps4 when DD has gone to bed and then we set up 2 tvs up in the same room and play either call of duty or gta v. That is our quality time together and do it most nights when DD is in bed.
We would rather game than go out clubbing. Don't get me wrong we do other stuff together and gaming never interfers with our parenting at all. Some our DD plays Lego world's or minecraft.

I'm a need and love playing elder scrolls online, final fantasy and kingdom hearts series. I too use to be a WoW player too.

I've never tried WoW, FFXIV was my first MMO experience. I think another issue non-gamers can have with gamers is the cost. Gasp! £60 for a game! A film is only £10! But you can get hours from a game, replay value, playing online with others, trying different playthroughs of games like skyrim- I've played through twice, once as a stealth archer once as a mage. There is a fee for me to keep playing 14 but it's my only hobby/expense. £12 a month or whatever it works out to is worth it for the hours that can be spent on there.

Although I doubt it, any other 14 people on Famfrit give me a yell! I'm on an NA server as all my friends are there. Who I met through Destiny and Twitch.

continually play something that couldn't be paused. In his head, he was around and available whenever I needed help, and the game was just filling in the gaps. In practise, he was usually 10-15 minutes away from being able to stop

This describes what I don't like about it better than I did. When you're living around others and you're always the last to help out or 15 minutes to the dinner table because you were in the middle of a mission or something, it has a really negative effect on family life. If the family are all gamers then I'm sure it's fine, but for non gamers it's hard to understand.

I also don't think it's exactly the same as other hobbies to me. When I'm talking to someone and they're telling me about their day and they say 'I went for a bike ride, I went here and there blah blah' - I'm not a cyclist but I can enjoy talking to them about their hobby. You can't really have a chat about what someone has done in WOW unless the other person also plays, because it's not real and it would be really boring to hear about. It doesn't mean it's bad, it's just why I find it so tedious

This describes what I don't like about it better than I did. When you're living around others and you're always the last to help out or 15 minutes to the dinner table because you were in the middle of a mission or something, it has a really negative effect on family life

That's not because they're a gamer though. That's because they're a dick!

I have a friend who's partner plays cricket and he is playing every weekend during the season. He's often late back due to rain delays/longer matches etc.

It's about how the person uses the hobby, not what the hobby is.

I've just seen this on another thread, an adult woman being suggested as 'a bit immature' for having a Nintendo.

My house looks like a gamer's heaven. We have consoles, handheld devices, a retro gaming system and cabinet full of games.
Both DH & I are working professionals in our 30s, who just like to have a game to relax.
But I guess that doesn't matter since our downtime isn't spent on doing something more 'mature', like a round of golf or down the pub

That's not because they're a gamer though. That's because they're a dick!

True, guess I have not experienced any adult gamers who are more moderate

Which thread, Logical?

I don't get what has it got to do with anyone else if someone is a gamer or not as long as it's not hurting anyone else.

Me and my DP have a laugh gaming together, it might be childish to some people but we have fun together and have met some great people from all over the world.

Being childish is very much under rated.

I love being childish sometimes, makes me feel like a kid.

People say you should stop playing games at certain ages, however if that is the case, gaming as an adult is no different than me playing dolls with my DD. That's the way I see it.

My house looks like a gamer's heaven. We have consoles, handheld devices, a retro gaming system and cabinet full of games

Heh that's my house as well

I miss my Xbox because it's the summer holidays so have the bairn around me all of the time. the only downside of having the biggest telly in the house as my lady cave.

Nothing better to destress and block the world out for a bit.

well, there's no physical exercise involved so in that sense it is not as good for you as a sport or something involving walking around outdoors.

I think people conjure up an idea that men who are gamers tend to spend too much time fantasising about violence and criminality in a way that is a bit sad and probably not very healthy for their outlook, given that most games are either war based or murder/crime based.

I think it is fine in moderation, but there doesn't seem to me to be much of a way to pretend that shouting abuse at a 14 year old french lad over a head mic on Call of Duty 4 isnt a bit sad.

That's not because they're a gamer though. That's because they're a dick!

Yeah, basically. DH still plays, but he accepts that some games aren't activities he can just default to in a spare five minutes, because actually it'll take longer and he won't be on hand when he's needed. Instead he'll do that after the kids are in bed or during designated game time. The situation we had was mostly to do with him adjusting to life with small children where your time is not primarily for yourself.

I've a friend whose husband cycles and he leaves her on her own with their kids virtually every weekend - they are at secondary school now and it's always been like this. Most of his annual leave goes on getting himself to cycling events. He's a bike dick. I think it's relatively easy to be a gaming dick because it feels more like you're just hanging out at home and you get so absorbed that you don't realise how little your presence is actually contributing. But it's not inevitable. We just don't tend to hear about the gamers who manage to indulge without letting it take over. :)