An homage....to the CFN

[lastkisstoo]

In light of recent threads, it has enlightened and amused me no end at the amount of cheeky fuckerdom of the highest order that lives among us.

What is your experience of the CFN?

I will start with mine. The circumstances are not funny at all but her actions raised a smile even then so thank you CFN for a bit of light in the darkness.

My husband died in our home many years ago. After a week or so of me not living there due to the circumstances of his death I had reason to visit the street that we lived. On seeing me out of her window a neighbour from a few doors away ran over to me and asked if she could buy my livingroom blinds 'on account of me not needing them any more'

We have odd neighbours about 6 houses down on the other side of the street. They always park outside our house, even though there is a space outside their house. If we do manage to park outside ours, they go straight out to move theirs as soon as we leave the house and start to drive down the street. Very, very odd (and there's nothing special about the outside of our house- just a normal, terraced street!).

Not NDN stories, ours are lovely. But when we moved in to current house we had a right game with the previous owners.

First they were sweetness and light, saying they would fit in with us re completion dates etc. We had a few in chain so usual hassle arranging that. After we'd got it all sorted they suddenly changed solicitors without telling anyone, decided to link sale to a new property she was moving into and told us the agreed date was no longer doable.

Out of everyone in the chain we had most school age kids (3) and ended up camping at my MILs putting all our stuff into storage, just to keep the chain going.

4 weeks later we finally got a date to move in. Turned up at midday with our removal guys and previous owners were still packing. They were doing a self move in the cheapest, smallest van possible. My DH started to help them dismantle beds, but realised they had walked off leaving him to it! Our removal men had a look and said they would be amazed if they were able to leave by the next morning. They had our money and got very aggressive with us when we started to ask why they weren't out.

It took them until Sunday afternoon before they actually left. Before they went he took us round the house, pointing out everything that was wrong with the property, especially labouring the fact it was a cold house we'd never get warm, the boiler was on its last legs and the gas fire had been condemned but they'd removed the label because it didn't look nice. He then swanned out saying he couldn't take his son's tropical fishes and would we mind looking after them until he could take them to his new flat. We were just .

We moved in next day -fortunately the van our stuff was in was due for an MOT that day otherwise we'd have to have waited for another fortnight.

As we moved in our new NDNs (both sides) came over with tea and biscuits and gushing how pleased they were to see us moving in as the 'previous lot were awful' then regaling us with tales of CFNess.

That night we were enjoying our first meal eating fish and chips from the paper we saw him and his son march into our garden and pick up a garden bench they'd left, cheerily waving as they went and saying they'd forgotten it.

A few weeks later I was just going out when a kitchen appliance lorry drew up by my drive. Driver said he had been sent to collect the range cooker! The cooker was clearly named as part of the fixtures and fittings in the contract. I sent him away with advice for his customer that she should bugger off.

The final coup de grace was the solicitor's letter from them saying we weren't to pursue them for compensation and refusing to pass on any new address. We were so fed up with everything that happened by then that we both decided to just leave it and let the universe take care of them.

The house is great, warm and cosy, and we now have a lovely home. I think we are the winners in the end.

Machine - do you still have the tropical fish???

No. He came back for them about a month later. Just turned up one evening, said he'd come for the fish, marched through and picked up tank and seat-belted them into car and left. I was trying hard not to punch him. He barely managed to even say thank you.

I was going through a lot of family shit at the time. My ex was terminally ill, one DD moving into first home and the other about to emigrate. My DSis was going through a divorce (exBIL just announced one evening he was leaving her for a younger model and left two days later). Oh, and I'd acquired a toxic boss who was making my working life hell.

I think if that hadn't been going on I may have been able to pursue them for recompense, but to honest, all my energy was reserved for my family, who needed it much more than that arsehole.