This is my life now! But apparently it's "normal"

[Nurse15]

I'm posting this in a light hearted manner (while being entirely serious unfortunately!) in AIBU because of all the shit people tell you about how epic having babies is. my baby has reflux so severe that she constantly feed refuses. The NHS have told us there is nothing more they can do for her. As a result I literally can't do anything with her. I spend every day in this bastard house with a screaming baby. I've got no clean pyjamas because I can't leave her long enough to do the washing. My hair is greasy and falling out because post partum. I'm broke because I've spent hundred on every remedy, baby toy, baby seat, alternative medicine practitioner I can find. I bought a fucking mamaroo at £250 in the hope she would sit in in for long enough for me to shower. She won't. So I'm scummy, broke, baldy and lonely. This is parenting? I write this in a light hearted manner because if I didn't I would cry. Please share your stories of baby days and how shit they can be so I can laugh!!

I have cried laughing at some of these, and for OP and all those who found it so shit too.

My mum died when I was pregnant with DS. That was shit. He then didn't sleep till he was 3 and walked at 11 months, ran and climbed by 12 months. Didn't eat anything but beige food.

He's 4 now. And awesome. Yes we're having him assessed for high-functioning autism but he is the most wonderful child. It's still hard though. In a really different and rewarding way though.

I remember when DS was a baby often being in tears because I missed my mum and wanted a shower and something to eat that wasn't fucking crisps or a cereal bar. And wanting to punch the HV when she asked if I had any support. Fucking NO. My husband works shifts and insane amounts of overtime so we can survive, my MIL is fucking useless and my dad doesn't really do babies.

I'm pregnant now. Another boy. I bloody hope this one is a bit easier.

This is my life too. Highest dose meds, tried them all, tried hypoallergenic formula etc. Basically told she will grow out of it and to probably try weaning from 17 weeks. (Advice from professionals for my daughters case. I'm not suggesting it by the way because she has dropped too many centiles) Add in a non sleeping 4 year old. I decided to brave the zoo with them both by myself. Baby screamed the whole time and i got pooped on by a bat. Of all things a bat. I've come to the conclusion she is probably going to be miserable until she can walk and then she will probably still be miserable but follow me around instead of being carried. I know it doesn't actually help but it is not only you this is happening too. Knowing I wasn't the only one who was going through it has saved my sanity. Most people i know don't seem to have these issues but there are a few and it helps knowing I'm not the only one. Gives me hope I will come out the other side.

@ineedcoffeecoffeecoffee I think we might be soul mates based on your username alone!!

Lovely to know I'm not alone (though that makes it sound like I'm glad your daughter is the same obv not what I mean!!)

Oh OP. My first had reflux and it was dreadful. The good news is that you are 13 weeks in, and you may be able to try solids soon. I weaned at 17 weeks on paed advice.
Also any spare cash should go on a night nanny!! You can get a solid 9 hours and a shower while she holds the puker.
Hang in there
Oh yes and DC2 is 17 months and my hair is still falling out!!

After exhausting all recommended reflux remedies "a bit of baby Gaviscon will do the trick" (yeh right!) and seeing my DS contort and scream frequently, I told the consultant we needed to try milk thickener. After 7 months of torture it worked almost instantly. It would take him an age to drink the thickshake but it worked!

I had twins and I think we spent the first two years inside in a cycle of nappies, bottles and projectile vomit (reflux-fl-fl-flux). You will return to 'normality' I promise

Your baby is going to cry, regardless. Just put her somewhere safe and get yourself showered and dressed.

Ah mate! My DD was a screamer. It was later diagnosed as CMPI. I'm not saying that's what's going on for you but I feel your pain. It does get better. This too shall pass 🙌🏼

DS1 had CMPA and reflux. I took welshweasel's approach and went back to work after 4 months so someone else could be puked on. His nursery also excluded him from vomiting policies as he would never have been in otherwise.

I never made it to baby groups as I couldn't get out the house without being sprayed in rancid milk.

I used to hide in the shower as I couldn't hear the screams from under the water (DS always in a safe place...)

We also weaned at about 19 weeks, but then the reflux had chunks in it

I found playing David Bowie really loud helped me with the screaming.

We're all behind you OP

Mainly behind you coz we know if we stand in front of you we'll get puked on ♥️

My DD was miserable as fuck as a baby. When I look back I think how did I cope? From getting out the house as much as possible and talking to other adults!!
She turned a corner at about 17 months, not long after she learnt to walk. Was much easier then.

I've pm'd u OP.
Please get in touch if you want to x

My babies would not be separated from me. At all. DH tried his best but all they wanted was to be on me or at my boobs.

My amazing thing was a baby bouncer (the very very basic one from mothercare, it was £12). Eventually (can't remember how old they were) I was able to put them in this, jiggle it with my foot and sit in front of them with a cup of tea/mumsnet/Coronation street.

Hugs. It is shit. I did not enjoy it. But, I promise you, it is a phase and it will get better. Xxx

Ps: can anyone take the baby for a walk while you shower? Not for very long, just half an hour? Whilst the baby might be sad, she will cope and you can get to feel a little more prepared for your day...

AnneBiscuit at KingJoffrey! Best name for difficult DS ever!

What can I say about my son....he was lovely...really couldn't fault him.

Then I had my daughter....OMG devil child!!! she screamed none stop...nothing wrong with her, she had a little bit of reflux but not much and cleared up with gaviscon....but still the screaming!!!!

She refused to breastfeed (like that's the ultimate slap in the face for the person who carried you and puked up for 9 months then pushed you out of their vagina and had god knows how many stitches because you tore labia ACROSS from vagina...yeah like how does that happen)

She hated been held.....but hated been put down.... I figured out an "at arms length" hold where she could be held and fed without being close...cos yeah she hated everyone.

So yeah....when I got an inflamed pancreas I quite enjoyed a few nights away from her when I stayed in the hospital.... Even though those damn nurses tried to get me a bed on the maternity ward so I could have her with me.... I refused and said I needed the rest and she was in safe hands with her dad and my mum. Let's not mention the first night she did an explosive poo, DH had no idea what to do so stripped her off and showered her down!!!

I PROMISE you it will get better.

I was a scummy, broke, baldy and lonely mummy for the first 6 months of dd's life, and everything has been easier and better since then. When the reflux goes (starting weaning and moving to ff on consultant advice helped immeasurably) it's a HUGE step forward. Even not having to do that fucking ludicrous amount of washing felt like winning the lottery. I remember dd puking her way through 67 bibs/muslins one day and fantasising about leaving her in the care of ddog and running away with my credit card to the nearest hotel. Stay strong, your hair WILL grow back and/or you'll spend the next couple of years experimenting with fringes.

Ah you can't persuade a local childcare course to lend you a student who needs baby nannying experience for a while can you? (You might have to omit a few details...) My friend had one recently, she got to have a warm cup of tea occasionally I believe.

Both my DTs had reflux. DT1 hurled in my face once and left a silhouette on the wall behind me. Also puked on the flat screen tv from about 6 feet away. All the time I felt shit because I never cracked BFing. I had the most wonderful next door neighbour that would sit with them, make tea and bring cake while I showered. Then she'd smile and go home (unless I looked like I needed a chat)

We went to a water park when they were small. We'd driven past it lots and they always asked to go. Spent 1/2 day packing, parking, putting sun cream and uv suits on, finding the ideal space. Fuckers said it was too crowded!

Not read all posts so sorry. My LG had reflux and has cmpa. Combination of dairy free breast feeding then neocate and ranitidine helped with symptoms. But my point.... the only time she was settled and let me put her down was lying in the bathroom with the shower running. The noise helped her sleep. I got to shower, frequently. For about 8 hours a day....

Oh OP, things will get better with time, I've spoken to enough people whose kids had reflux to believe this. DD (now 7 months) has reflux too though not as bad as your baby from the sound of it....not better yet with weaning as viserion found so far it's just vomit with chunks! HV and docs pretty useless so far. DD hasn't dropped enough centiles to get referred....but I get how awful it is too. Really hard and upsetting to not be able to magically help the baby. I'm honestly too tired to care if I'm covered in baby sick,tend to just wipe it up / off as much as possible and carry on.
No one will judge you for going out looking dreadful in my experience.....and I don't care if they do....not giving a shit is the only upside to total exhaustion.....

Ok so dd1 had built in recharging batteries and never yes never fucking slept, like 40mins tops then awake all the way through till she was 4. I like a idiot found myself pregnant again bastard coil, implants bollocks and thought 15month gap why not ?
So had dd2 who slept like an angel, sadly I kept waking her up convinced she was dead
So dd1 & dd2 had croup fml and I'd been stuck in for 12 years 2weeks I had no car so went for a walk, I kid you not I ended up calling my df because I'd walked zombie style for 16 miles with a double buggy.

Dp's then decided I needed some help and I slept for 2 days solid
It does get better once you stop caring

OP, this too will pass. My first had horrific reflux, but it is a distant memory now she has left her teenage years behind and is busy being a wonderful, beautiful, successful adult. The baby bit is actually really, really short in the scale of their lives, but I know one day can feel like an eternity when you are in it. But it will not last forever and it will be worth it. Just keep on keeping on and out the other side.

My sent from the devil himself twins were a bit like this, but not as horrendous.

At seven weeks old we decided one of us should be sterilised. Of course, we haven't got a-fucking round to that because a) the little horrors are a natural contraception and b) like fuck we have time.

At the 16-weeks-into-reflux stage I seriously considered leaving the country; I felt like I'd been lobotomised.

They're three now, they're dead healthy and loads of fun (mostly...), and I wish I could go back in time to my 16-week post-partum self to say that things definitely got better, and that the people around me (and on mumsnet - thanks ) weren't lying when they said it would.

It'll get better OP. You might not believe us, but it will. And you know what - the hair grows back!

This was me. Except I had a wonderful health visitor and amazing support from dm. I remember desperately clinging to the hope that at 3/12's she'd magically improve. Could barely look/touch her for the 1st 4/12's of her life. But it got better, and I love her very much (now). Hold on, you can do it. Life will improve, you'll have the odd good day and then eventually the good days will outnumber the bad. Stay strong