Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for a friend - last minute bridezilla financial demand from bridesmaids

210 replies

dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 08:52

Posting on behalf of a friend of my sister so may not be a juicy one as I do not have all the details, but I know how much you vipers love a wedding one so...

My sister's best friend is a bridesmaid today, the bride has just sprung on her and her other bridesmaids that she wants them to pay £60 each to have their hair and makeup done.

The bride has asked everyone to have their hair and make up done a certain way. The worst thing is that she wasn't upfront about the cost. Only yesterday when she said that the make-up would be another £30 did friend twig there would be any cost at all. And said she would rather do her own. And then on the bridesmaid WhatsApp another bridesmaid was like 'ohh I can do your hair like that for free - I can do everyone's' and then everyone said please could you.

Then the bride went on a really long winded rant about how she doesn't want to be a bridezilla but that her partner's bridesmaids are all having their hair done that way and she's paid the deposit so they have to get it done. That'll be £60 please!

So my sister wants the view of the mumsnet jury on this important issue and also your views on what her friend should say to the bride!

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 22/07/2017 08:54

The bride should pay obviously!

gingergenius · 22/07/2017 08:55

Bride should pay. Cheeky mare!

Ginmakesitallok · 22/07/2017 08:56

Bride pays

zeebeedee · 22/07/2017 08:56

That sounds really unreasonable of thr bride, and she probably knows it - hence not telling them till the morning of the wedding. I don't know if there is much the bridesmaids can do at this late stage, but may want to reconsider future friendships......

PurpleDaisies · 22/07/2017 08:56

Can she afford it?

Personally I think the bride should pay if she wants something specific done. Just because the bride has paid the deposit doesn't mean people are obliged to pay-she should have checked first.

WhichJob · 22/07/2017 08:56

If the bride dictates, the bride pays.

GraceGrape · 22/07/2017 08:58

My friend was just a bridesmaid and the bride did exactly the same thing. It turned out that the hairdresser the bride wanted wouldn't do just her hair as it wasn't worth his while closing the salon for just one client. Bride couldn't afford to pay for everyone's hair herself. I would probably have said tough shit, but they compromised with my friend and the other bridesmaids paying half what had been asked and the bride covering the difference.

emmeline7725 · 22/07/2017 08:58

I'm getting married next Saturday. I'm doing my own make up so I expect everyone else (bridesmaid, mother, mother in law) to do theirs. But I'm paying for my hairdresser to do their hair.

DumbledoresApprentice · 22/07/2017 08:58

Bride should pay. She can't insist on her bridesmaids forking out for expensive hair and makeup of her choice. Either she pays or everyone sorts out their own hair/makeup.

Enidblyton1 · 22/07/2017 08:59

Partner's bridesmaids??!! How many bridesmaids are they having?
I wonder if they had to pay for their own dress too.

I think all the bridesmaids need to get together and politely tell the bride that it is rude to ask them to pay for this. If one bridesmaid pays up then one that doesn't will look mean. It has to be a united response.

DumbledoresApprentice · 22/07/2017 09:00

Enid- I'm assuming there are two brides.

LindyHemming · 22/07/2017 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moanyoldcow · 22/07/2017 09:01

Bride should pay. I had my bridesmaid and best friends over for pampering the night before my wedding and I paid.

YoureNotASausage · 22/07/2017 09:01

Bridesmaids can take £60 off their gift to her. Or just not give a gift as their hair and makeup done her way is their gift to her.

specialsubject · 22/07/2017 09:01

Say no. If the wedding is in a few hours, what is dippydrawers going to do about it?

If the makeup artist turns up, refuse as you aren't paying.

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 09:01

I believe she could afford it as in a well-paid job but I think it's more the principle of it that she objects to.

As the wedding is today my sister will be sending me updates which I will post to the thread when I can as the drama unfolds...

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 22/07/2017 09:02

Bridesmaids can take £60 off their gift to her. Or just not give a gift as their hair and makeup done her way is their gift to her.
Surely gifts will already have been bought if the wedding is today.

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 09:03

Apparently she has 6 bridesmaids 🙄

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 22/07/2017 09:03

If she wants it done she needs to pay for it.

'Sorry bride I really cannot afford to pay for this, I was not aware that we had to cover the cost of our own hair as usually it is the bride that funds these things'

wonkylegs · 22/07/2017 09:04

If you dictate as the bride you pay, otherwise give bridesmaids a choice. I didn't dictate but still paid the only thing I didn't pay for was the bridesmaids shoes which they got themselves but I didn't care what they got, one wore shoes she already had the other bought some.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 22/07/2017 09:04

If bride insists on a specific choice, she should pay.

Where the bridesmaids have a choice and it's something they can use again paying for it themselves is reasonable. (My BMs were requested to wear silver shoes. I didn't want to dictate a particular shoe as I wanted them to choose something that fitted comfortably. One had a pair that fitted anyway)

Catra · 22/07/2017 09:04

My bridesmaids paid for their own hair and makeup at my wedding (£40 for hair, £40 for makeup) but the difference was they were told months in advance and I'd paid for my hair and makeup when I was a bridesmaid for both of them.

HoneyDragon · 22/07/2017 09:06

Nope don't pay Bride is exceptionally rude and if bridesmaids to pay because they can afford it it will put too much pressure on others who may end up going with essentials for the next couple of weeks because of one woman's selfishness.

SheSaidHeSaid · 22/07/2017 09:06

If the bride is dictating style and a professional doing it then she should pay. If she couldn't afford it she shouldn't have had so many bridesmaids or she should allow them to do their own hair and make-up.

MrsPorth · 22/07/2017 09:07

It all sounds OTT.

Some perfectly intelligent women take leave of their senses when they get married. It never seems to happen to men. TBH I'd just pay it. She'll be back to normal after the honeymoon. No point arguing over a relatively small sum of money.