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Original poster

Asking for a friend - last minute bridezilla financial demand from bridesmaids

210 replies

dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 08:52

Posting on behalf of a friend of my sister so may not be a juicy one as I do not have all the details, but I know how much you vipers love a wedding one so...

My sister's best friend is a bridesmaid today, the bride has just sprung on her and her other bridesmaids that she wants them to pay £60 each to have their hair and makeup done.

The bride has asked everyone to have their hair and make up done a certain way. The worst thing is that she wasn't upfront about the cost. Only yesterday when she said that the make-up would be another £30 did friend twig there would be any cost at all. And said she would rather do her own. And then on the bridesmaid WhatsApp another bridesmaid was like 'ohh I can do your hair like that for free - I can do everyone's' and then everyone said please could you.

Then the bride went on a really long winded rant about how she doesn't want to be a bridezilla but that her partner's bridesmaids are all having their hair done that way and she's paid the deposit so they have to get it done. That'll be £60 please!

So my sister wants the view of the mumsnet jury on this important issue and also your views on what her friend should say to the bride!

OP posts:
OnlyRose · 22/07/2017 10:13

Is that six bridesmaids in total, or six plus the partner's bridesmaids too? However many there are, the bride/s (?) should definitely be paying for the hairdos!

WomblingThree · 22/07/2017 10:13

Exactly Notknownatthisaddress. I don't understand why anyone would pay for the dubious privilege of being a bridesmaid. Like a PP, I have seen on US forums that the bridesmaids happily accept that they will have to pay for everything themselves, as well as giving a massive (to me) cash gift on top. I think the trend in parts of the US is to actually make a profit on the wedding. It won't be long before the UK follows suit. Ugh.

viques · 22/07/2017 10:17

Not sure how this marriage is going to pan out if the brides can't even sort out their competitive bridesmaid issues.

My opinion is if the brides want some hair do that the bridesmaids can't do for themselves then the brides pay.

ememem84 · 22/07/2017 10:18

I paid for dresses hair and make up. Didn't dictate how bridesmaids should have their hair though.

IrritatedUser1960 · 22/07/2017 10:19

On the day she will have no bridesmaids at this rate. I'd probably be pathetic and pay it and scowl through all the photos.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 22/07/2017 10:20

Bride pays

Gizmo79 · 22/07/2017 10:22

Lurking with interest!

Glad that DH and I did a Vegas wedding on our own reading this!

Oldraver · 22/07/2017 10:23

I've had no response on the costs of outfits or hen dos but apparently she's currently sitting at a wedding breakfast that's she's had to pay for herself!

What do you mean by this as it's a bit early for the Wedding Breakfast ?

Do you mean the hotel breafast ?

NoSquirrels · 22/07/2017 10:24

If I were a bridesmaid I would probably pay, only because my conscience would not allow me to spoil a good friends Big Day with a petty row over money.

But - I would make my "surprise" known and afterwards, I'd be candid that it put me and the others in a shitty situation and left me short of money for the rest of the month...

(Or if I knew the bride's mum/sister etc I might have a quiet word about tricky situation and financial embarrassment and see if anyone fronted up.)

But no question the bride is in the wrong. You choose/dictate, you pay.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/07/2017 10:26

The only thing I want them to do on the day is have a bit of craic and remind me to spray deodorant on my feet

You, Craic, are shining example to us all. [grin}

toosexyforyahshirt · 22/07/2017 10:30

If you want to paint and style living people to match your fucking flowers, you pay for it!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/07/2017 10:30

VIPERS? We're vipers? Fucking cheek!

This is actually one of the nicest things I've been called . . .

Notknownatthisaddress · 22/07/2017 10:31

Exactly Notknownatthisaddress. I don't understand why anyone would pay for the dubious privilege of being a bridesmaid. Like a PP, I have seen on US forums that the bridesmaids happily accept that they will have to pay for everything themselves, as well as giving a massive (to me) cash gift on top. I think the trend in parts of the US is to actually make a profit on the wedding. It won't be long before the UK follows suit. Ugh.

Fuck that @womblingthree Grin

I have nothing against America or Americans, (at all!) but I hate it when their 'trends' come across here. Baby showers (pressies for me and baby please, NOW, and when baby is born too!) Expensive hen parties that run into weekends or even weeks (abroad sometimes-and of course everyone has to pay for themselves!) And this ghastly 'you must shag on the third date' rule. Confused And now this bridesmaids have to pay for all their own shit rule. Hmm

Sorry, the Americans can keep their 'trends!'

(Again, I don't dislike them or the country and it's probably not even their fault! But it IS annoying!!! Blush )

Notknownatthisaddress · 22/07/2017 10:32

@SchadenfreudePersonified

LOL Grin

Dailystuck71 · 22/07/2017 10:33

Bride pays.

Birdsgottaf1y · 22/07/2017 10:33

I'd wonder if the cost of the BMs was £30 and the Bride hasn't just decided the cost so she gets hers free, tbh.

Around £450 for a mornings work? She's been ripped off. It's normally a package deal and you can get it down a lot less.

If it is insisted on, then it is the bride that offers to pay. Normally one of the BMs would say that as they would pay for their hair, anyway, they will chip in, which usually ends in the BMs all going at least half.

My DDs are Adults and a few of my friends have paid for their DDs and BMs hair/make-up and "Last single breakfast".

kel1234 · 22/07/2017 10:35

I think the bride should pay for that. Especially when she's saying it has to be a certain way.
(I had one adult bridesmaid and pretty much said, this is what I was thinking for a dress, but whatever you feel most comfortable and happy in is fine. And I said hair is up to you, have it whichever way suits you best. I wanted her to feel relaxed, not like it was all very regiment and that she was being told what to do. And I paid for the dress obviously).

44PumpLane · 22/07/2017 10:42

If you want something done a certain way you pay!

I paid for my bridesmaids hair and outfits (I asked them all to buy a black dress they felt comfortable in as my bridesmaids were all different shapes and sizes) and they basically billed me for dress and shoes if they bought new shoes.

I wasn't bothered how they had their make up but they all chose to pay to have their make up done.

I've been a bridesmaid a couple times- I've done my own make up on both occasions and had my hair paid for on both occasions.

You don't get to demand something and force others to pay for it!!!

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 10:43

No I assume not the official wedding breakfast but that she is eating actual breakfast with the rest of the bridal party, which she has been asked to pay for herself.

Frustratingly, I have had no further updates.

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 22/07/2017 10:46

Bride pays. I was having flowers in my hair and thought it would be nice for my bridesmaids to have flower in theirs - however they wanted it - so I paid. Surely that's just normal etiquette? i gave them the choice about make up but was still
planning to pay.

At the very least this should have been discussed beforehand so a sudden bill wasn't sprung on them. Is it £60 each???

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 10:47

Yeah £60 per person - they have been told on the wedding day

OP posts:
Orangebird69 · 22/07/2017 10:47

I cannot believe that any bride would ask someone to be a bridesmaid and then expect them to pay for ANYTHING. Beggars belief.

Groovee · 22/07/2017 10:48

I paid for my 3 bridesmaids, myself and both mums to have hair and make up done. And that was nearly 19 years ago.

Smarshian · 22/07/2017 10:51

I paid for bridesmaids hair - although they got to choose style as all different personalities. Make up was optional but they needed to pay themselves and told about 2 months before. If bride wants something specific then obviously she pays!

Oldraver · 22/07/2017 10:53

I've just realised the wedding could not be in the UK so they could be at the wedding breakfast. If the BM has had to pay for her meal that is really not on