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Original poster

Asking for a friend - last minute bridezilla financial demand from bridesmaids

210 replies

dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 08:52

Posting on behalf of a friend of my sister so may not be a juicy one as I do not have all the details, but I know how much you vipers love a wedding one so...

My sister's best friend is a bridesmaid today, the bride has just sprung on her and her other bridesmaids that she wants them to pay £60 each to have their hair and makeup done.

The bride has asked everyone to have their hair and make up done a certain way. The worst thing is that she wasn't upfront about the cost. Only yesterday when she said that the make-up would be another £30 did friend twig there would be any cost at all. And said she would rather do her own. And then on the bridesmaid WhatsApp another bridesmaid was like 'ohh I can do your hair like that for free - I can do everyone's' and then everyone said please could you.

Then the bride went on a really long winded rant about how she doesn't want to be a bridezilla but that her partner's bridesmaids are all having their hair done that way and she's paid the deposit so they have to get it done. That'll be £60 please!

So my sister wants the view of the mumsnet jury on this important issue and also your views on what her friend should say to the bride!

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 22/07/2017 10:54

6 bridesmaids is so tacky. Is the groom having 6 groomsmen as well Shock

HunterHearstHelmsley · 22/07/2017 11:00

It wouldn't be fair on the MUA/stylist to not pay now so bride needs to pull her finger out her arse, put her hand in her pocket and pay for it. She's just going to ruin her wedding for herself at this rate.

I wouldn't be able to afford £60 for that so she'd have to suck it.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 22/07/2017 11:02

She paying for her wedding breakfast too?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/07/2017 11:02

Bloody cheeky bint.

She wants to dictate, she pays.

...and absolutely beyond the pale to demand it on the actual day. I hope they all tell her to jog on.

I can't believe she's paying for her own breakfast either IF the bride asked her to stay last night. If she just chose to, then of course breakfast is down to her too.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/07/2017 11:04

Breakfast on the day of the wedding NOT the Wedding Breakfast

...before this one gathers too much momentum! 😂

kali110 · 22/07/2017 11:07

That is disgusting.

ohtheholidays · 22/07/2017 11:11

I've never understood this,it comes across as a complete lack of class and thought for anyone else when a Bride makes they're bridesmaids pay for everything.

I've been married twice(first time was a mistake and I was only 18)and I paid for everything for my bridesmaids,clothes,shoes,flowers,hair,make-up,accesories and second time around for the bridesmaids to get they're nails done.

I took the bridesmaids with me to choose everything and made sure that they all really liked what I was buying and that they all looked amazing and I bought gifts for all of them for being our bridesmaids after all surely you pick people that you love to be your bridesmaids so treating them like shit makes no sense.

I hope your Sister and all of the other bridesmaids say no to paying £60 each for they're hair and make-up.

valeriarrgh · 22/07/2017 11:12

The bride should pay. When I got married I bought the dresses (I chose a colour and let them hash out the style between them, I wanted them to be comfortable) and they did their own hair and make up. They provided their own shoes.

I was a bridesmaid a few years back, I was trussed up in the worlds most uncomfortable dress and forced to pay for some hideous, ridiculously high shoes the bride picked that not a single one of us could walk in. I think I wore them for the ceremony (so all of a couple of hours) before ditching them for the photos as my poor feet couldn't take it. I would much rather have been given a colour that they must be and allowed to pick my own, I wouldn't of minded paying then. Bloody £50 to have the circulation to my toes cut off was not what I signed up for.

This whole wedding business is getting out of hand, destination hen and stag do's (what's wrong with a night out on the razz? Why do we have to spend a weekend 'doing something' now?) the weddings themselves have become whole weekend affairs in some cases with a whole heap of added expense due to traveling and accommodation. It's bobbins.

DaphneBlake101 · 22/07/2017 11:22

I was just going to let my bridesmaids do their hair and make-up as they chose but my mum insisted they needed to have their hair done professionally and she would pay for it. The day before the wedding Mum told me that her budget was stretched and asked me how I felt about her asking the bridesmaids to pay for their hair themselves. I was definitely not going to spring that on them at short notice (especially as although I hadn't been bothered about it at first, I had subsequently picked the hairstyles) so I found the £250 to pay for it because it's not acceptable to ask people to pay for your choices!

Ivory200 · 22/07/2017 11:26

I paid for hairdresser to come and do us all, but did everyone's makeup myself. Controlling? Just a wee bit 😄

Gooseysgirl · 22/07/2017 11:30

Jesus 🙄 of course the bride should pay!!! My cousin did our makeup as a gift and I paid for hairdresser - no criteria either, told them they could have their hair/makeup whatever way they liked.

tanfield90 · 22/07/2017 11:33

My view is that the bride and groom are entitled, within reason, to call the shots as to their respective attendants outfits. But they should also foot the bill, without exception. I have been to two weddings where I was shown the penguin suit I would be wearing and that'll be several pounds of your hard-earned money please. Except the bridesmaids - their frocks were paid for by someone else, apparently on the grounds of tradition. Shite.

I am not going for the hat-trick. Weddings - who needs 'em ?Angry

Rant over.

WatchingFromTheWings · 22/07/2017 11:42

My sister did something similar except I was sat in the hairdressers chair with curlers in my hair before she asked if I had the £25 on me to pay. I didn't. Neither did she. So I had to scrounge cash off my dad.

Bride should pay. I really hope your sisters friend doesn't.

WhenLoveAndCakeCollide · 22/07/2017 11:53

If a bride wants her bridesmaids to have a certain look, then etiquette is, that she pays.

I'm staggered that any bride would think she can dictate the look, and expect her maids to pay for it!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/07/2017 12:15

This whole wedding business is getting out of hand

Exactly!

GU24Mum · 22/07/2017 12:19

The bride should have paid and shouldn't have left this all to the last minute BUT if the wedding is today and the BMs can (and still be able to eat etc this month), I think it's not worth ruining the day. Have it out with her afterwards or cut her off but not worth ruining the day especially as I'm guessing these are friends/closeish relatives?

This is why I got married abroad VERY cheaply!!

BeepBeepMOVE · 22/07/2017 12:21

Bride should always pay for dress, shoes, bag, wrap, jewellery, hair, make up, nails. No question.

In my circle the bride will also cover the accommodation if needed so normally night before wedding and night of wedding. I accept this might be a bit more unusual though.

Bridesmaid should cover her share of hen, any pre- wedding spa treatments for herself.

BadLad · 22/07/2017 12:26

Saw a video of a beautiful wedding done last Sunday. Bride wore simple plain white dress, home made braid, groom wore white suit. Both were barefoot

Barefoot?

Pmsl

Imspartacusforreal · 22/07/2017 12:28

Bride should cover the cost. I had a situation similar to this and politely said I could no longer afford to be a bridesmaid. I will not be forced into spending money I don't want to especially if there is a cheaper option.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/07/2017 12:28

How rude and cheeky, the bride shpuld be paying of course

Imspartacusforreal · 22/07/2017 12:29

Following that! I think you should only have the number of bridesmaids you can afford. If you can't do that then you should ask them how much they would be willing to shell out on you, n if that's zero then you need to accept it.

jay55 · 22/07/2017 12:31

Does anyone actually notice the bridesmaids makeup? Unless its particularly wacky...

LoniceraJaponica · 22/07/2017 13:02

I agree jay55. I wouldn't notice unless it was ridiculously overdone.

Lynnm63 · 22/07/2017 13:08

I had three bridesmaids they were all young girls, oldest 13. I paid for everything dress, shoes, tights, flowers, hair and hair accessories. They kept them afterwards as party dresses. It would not have crossed my mind to ask them to pay for anything.

milliemolliemou · 22/07/2017 13:09

@jay55 - niece had hers done for elaborate wedding. Bride paid. But like most young women of her age, she could have done it as well herself .... and kept to any guidelines the bride wanted (eg no red lipstick, or high drama - whatever). I'm not dissing beauticians but it is a palaver though if bride has it done (and has trial run or knows the beautician) then I think it's a calming moment. Ditto hair unless there's flower threading in plaits which clearly needs someone superintending.

OP more info to keep us nicely on the simmer .....

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