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Original poster

Asking for a friend - last minute bridezilla financial demand from bridesmaids

210 replies

dangerrabbit · 22/07/2017 08:52

Posting on behalf of a friend of my sister so may not be a juicy one as I do not have all the details, but I know how much you vipers love a wedding one so...

My sister's best friend is a bridesmaid today, the bride has just sprung on her and her other bridesmaids that she wants them to pay £60 each to have their hair and makeup done.

The bride has asked everyone to have their hair and make up done a certain way. The worst thing is that she wasn't upfront about the cost. Only yesterday when she said that the make-up would be another £30 did friend twig there would be any cost at all. And said she would rather do her own. And then on the bridesmaid WhatsApp another bridesmaid was like 'ohh I can do your hair like that for free - I can do everyone's' and then everyone said please could you.

Then the bride went on a really long winded rant about how she doesn't want to be a bridezilla but that her partner's bridesmaids are all having their hair done that way and she's paid the deposit so they have to get it done. That'll be £60 please!

So my sister wants the view of the mumsnet jury on this important issue and also your views on what her friend should say to the bride!

OP posts:
MagicMoneyTree · 22/07/2017 23:05

I vaguely know a couple who were together for ages, then split, then got back together.

They are soon to be married and the palava that has been made over their hen/stag dos has been astounding. Zillions of friends all forking out for weekends in Ibiza/Vegas, etc, etc. It's all over social media and it's all just so fucking false. All her friends hate him because he treats her like total shit.

I give it a year.

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 23/07/2017 07:27

Ok I'm back with an update but unfortunately (for MN thread purposes) it's not a very interesting update. My friend's sister and all the other BMs (and GMs) agreed to pay the £60 to have their hair and makeup done in an identical way, and the big day went ahead without any drama.

Both my sister and her friend have been reading the thread and enjoying all your feedback and it has been helping her get through the day, so thank you for that.

OP posts:
CalmItKermitt · 23/07/2017 07:43

Madness.

purplesippycup · 23/07/2017 08:23

Anything the bride and groom want their wedding party to wear or have, they pay.

When I got married we bought all the dresses and suits, and accessories to double up as thank you gifts.

We told everyone to wear shoes they already have and do hair and makeup however they want (professionally or by themselves). We simply could not afford to stretch that far with our budget and were not uptight about everyone looking identical.

Embarrassedatsoftplay · 23/07/2017 13:35

@SchadenfreudePersonified great post. DH and I paid £3300 in total for wedding, reception and honeymoon (with £1600 of that kindly gifted from parents and in laws).

We're only 2.5 years in but we're proud of that. We have said if we make it to 10 years and can afford it we'll do something bigger to renew vows

Beeziekn33ze · 23/07/2017 14:05

That bride DID want to be a bridezilla, she really, really did!

vikingprincess81 · 23/07/2017 14:52

Shall have a minutes silence for all my fellow 'over size 12' ladies who'll never know the thrill and honour Hmm of being a bridesmaid? Damn our size 14 bosoms, curse our size 16 thighs, if only we didn't have size 18 bellies, how fulfilling our lives would be if we didn't have size 20 feet (took it too far didn't I??) Grin
fucking arsehole bride - wait til she's had a few kids and can't get down to a 10/12 because her belly is still all saggy
pours a drink on the pavement for my outsize homies Grin

Beeziekn33ze · 23/07/2017 15:09

Viking 🥂 I'll drink to that!!

jessebuni · 23/07/2017 17:22

Unless the bride has specifically discussed cost and agreed something with the bridesmaids in advance then it is the brides job to pay for anything specific required.

vikingprincess81 · 23/07/2017 17:43

Cheers Beezie 🥂Grin

JemmyBloocher · 23/07/2017 17:44

Bride pays. Always. Otherwise she certainly can't dictate.

Shona52 · 23/07/2017 17:46

I paid for all my bridesmaids cost apart from shoes (and they got to pick the style and they were sliver so could be used again for anything) I paid for the dresses, hair, make up also paid for both mums and my Aunty (as her daughter was my bridesmaid and she have been the only one in the house not getting it done and I would feel so bad to exclude her). I find the demands of some brides on their wedding party and guests to be total out of order.

I would saying to the bride I would be happy to get it done if your paying otherwise I'm dining myself

Shona52 · 23/07/2017 17:47

Doing 🙈

Writermom22 · 23/07/2017 17:54

Her wedding, her choice but if she's insisting on the hairdresser then the money should come out of the overall wedding funds.

supersop60 · 23/07/2017 18:02

My dd was bridesmaid to her Godmother, and we paid for her dress, shoes, tights and cardigan (all specified by GM)
However, our wedding gift was the music we provided for the ceremony, so no extra expense!

supersop60 · 23/07/2017 18:03

DD was 6 at the time.

bunningsbunny · 23/07/2017 18:33

Maybe you should encourage the bridesmaid(s) to ask the bride to pay them back now the wedding is over, on the basis that she sprung it on them on the wedding day and they didn't want to cause a problem then, but that it's really not on to spring £60 additional costs onto them at the last minute, they really can't afford it and can she now pay them back...

Would be interesting to see what the bride responds with... Grin

Thisworldsnofun · 23/07/2017 18:42

I was a bm the other week. The bride paid for the dress and I paid £50 for hair and makeup. But it was optional, we could have done our own if we had wanted to! Plus we knew well in advance.
Bridezilla sounds like a nightmare!

ShmooBooMoo · 23/07/2017 18:43

No discussion with and agreement from her bridesmaids means the bride has to suck it up and pay. Your friend and the other bridesmaids should do their own makeup and take up the kind offer from the person willing to do their hair for free, unless the bride wants to cough up. The bride sounds rude and entitled.

ShmooBooMoo · 23/07/2017 18:45

Oh, I now see the bride got her own way. She probably knew she would!

Original poster
dangerrabbit · 23/07/2017 18:48

That's a great suggestion bunningsbunny - I've screenshot it and sent it to my sister.

OP posts:
MrsDc7 · 23/07/2017 19:23

I really wanted to have my friends as my bridesmaids but unfortunately when we got married I didn't have much money - I was a student (mature) at the time. I decided to just have my sister and sister-in-law because I wouldn't have been comfortable expecting the bridesmaids to pay for dresses, shoes, hair etc... plus the added cost of a gift for each of them. I've been a bridesmaid at a wedding where we were all expected to pay for our own and it was really stressful as we didn't have much money spare. Brides shouldn't be so selfish imo

whenyouwish · 23/07/2017 19:55

Hhhmmm not sure re this one. It depends how much the bride has already paid. I had my sister as a bridesmaid, my brother in law as an usher, their kids as flower girls/page boys, so I bought 5 outfits for them, paid for their family room to stay overnight at the hotel for 2 nights and we were running out of budget at the end so I asked her to pay for her make up to be done. She refused so I let her do her own. To be fair I had forked out £500 on outfits for them all and £200 on hotel rooms and they didn't offer to pay a penny, so if that was me then I wouldn't have minded paying £50 for my make up.

TheProdigalRhubarb · 23/07/2017 20:38

My bridesmaids demanded I pay for their makeup, hair and manicures. I'd told them they could do their own, but that wasn't acceptable, apparently - they wanted it doing professionally. I'd paid for their dresses, accessories, hotel rooms and dinner the night before the wedding.

I told them they could sort out their own shoes - nude, silver or ivory was fine - as I felt it was unreasonable to tell people what footwear to wear - shoes are such an individual thing and I didn't want anyone feeling uncomfortable. One of them took umbridge at not having them provided; she made a show of buying the cheapest pair of ivory shoes she could find "look I got some for £20" and then knocked £20 off her wedding present budget Hmm while making out I was putting her out.

Don't even get me started on the hen do.

RevEm · 23/07/2017 20:39

Bride should pay, esp of she's dictating. Oh honestly...

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